Thank you Jill
You and Vahn have been such a blessing to me.
The whispers remain but I'm not listening.
I keep telling myself I am sufficient to Him and His grace is sufficient for me.
Like every 10 minutes!! I've had 3 times today where someone walked up to me and treated me like I was lesser or at least I felt like they were treating me that way. I could feel the trembling inside and the shrinking. Then I remembered I am sufficient to my best friend! And I could smile and the trembling stopped and I stood up straight.
Last night was the 12 step program and I shared with them what God told me. That I'm sufficient. One guy said, I don't even know God and yet He talks to you!!! I considered telling Him sometimes He dances with me. Decided I best not.
I wrote a list of things I do that I don't want to do. Was brutally honest with myself. I realized I'm worse off than I thought! You may wonder why I would do such a thing. I realized after writing this it took a lot of energy to try to keep all these things hidden. I had been trying to not do them on my own. Once I wrote it out, I was able to let go of trying to hide them and trying to fix myself. It turned into a wish list for God. Gods to do list if He wishes.
I've smiled a lot today. Been much more light hearted.