Pines Pages

[angelbaby]

We still love you Piney. I agree coloring is really helpful when we are having a difficult time. When I have something going on and I can't seem to find words for it, I tend to draw about it. It is a way that I communicate. Then, I tend to be able to talk about it or explain the picture so that someone understand how I feel.

[deetu]

Glad you are back piney...
black birds can be easily scared if you shoo them away

[goldieluvs]

awwwwwwwwwww Pine

when we are weak God is strong... hmm strange saying since i see God as strong all the time... any way sis.... i luv ya and am praying u feel at peace again soon

[Dora]

Thank you Goldie, dee, and angel. Thank you ALL!

The last time I folded I was 16 and He rescued me then.

His spirit, though I didn't know Him at the time, rushed in and asked what can I do for you.

What I needed then is the same thing I need this time, love and acceptance, peace and rest. Someone who'll love me and never leave me and will treat me well.

Even though I met cubby two weeks later, it was eight years before I accepted that he would never leave me and that his love was real. Even though it was what I wanted the most, it's what I fought the most. To be loved takes chance. Chance that you'll get hurt.

It's the same battle I faced then. Only this time It's not a husband, but brothers and sisters.

I'm stretched and it's causing my emotional errors to become to loud to hide.

The kind words and reached out hands I found here has helped me to want to fight again. To overcome.

[Dora]

I have a new word. I am sufficient for Him and His grace is sufficient for me.

My own flesh turned against me and chose to self destruct. I folded but my partner had a trick up His sleeve.

Just as a good Dad would He made a way. Picked me up, dusted me off, gave me a kiss and a hug and sent me on my way to try again.

I choose to not be double minded. Lord help me. There is so much stacked against me, but I will over come! Cause through Him I can do ALL things.

God is so good. So very very good.

My heart aches for home! I am so tired. Part of it's my own fault for taking on service that I wasn't called to take on, but chose to out of defiance. Just because it's a good thing to do doesn't mean it's our thing for us to do.

Part of it's trying to balance to many things to keep life running smoothly. Part of it is trying to control things that are not mine to control. Part of it is I wasn't given the tools to do the things I'm trying to do. Yet in my weakness He is made strong.

I choose this day to focus forward. To trust in Him. To give Him the reigns of all the things I'm trying to take control of. To see myself and others the way He sees us. The way we would be if we could stay in the full presence and understanding of who He is and the abundance of His love and grace. It's all about focus.

I can not say enough times how much the reaching hands helped me. Even when I got snippy and just ugly, you kept loving, you kept reaching, you kept giving. God bless you greatly! For if you hadn't of reached, I'd be gone. Just the thought brought so much pain and depression.

Praising God for my new life. My second chance.

Love you all!!!

[deetu]

knew you could do it

[Christnundrconstruxn]

dear Pine
I was so worried that satan had won, that he had taken you from us.
I praise our God for giving you the strength to fight onward.
I would be so lost and hurt not to have you post and little messages to brighten my so dark days, I have lost count of the times you have made me smile and lifted me from the dark thoughts that swallow me up from time to time.
I'm SOOOO GLAD to have you back!!!
ps, tell cubby he's a lucky man
God bless you and cub
Cuc

[Dora]

Stop that before you make me cry.

Thank you. That means a lot to me. A lot!

[xxJILLxx]

I love you so much sister, you will never know how grateful I am because He used you to reach me many times when I needed a friend, a prayer partner, a shoulder, advice, and a laugh. You are a true friend by every extent of the meaning of the word "friend".

We all have our ups and downs in this walk of faith in Him. I know i sure have

Love is unquenchable... many waters cannot quench His love.

The fire of love.

It is in you.

God bless
♥Jill

[Dora]

Thank you Jill You and Vahn have been such a blessing to me.

The whispers remain but I'm not listening.

I keep telling myself I am sufficient to Him and His grace is sufficient for me.

Like every 10 minutes!! I've had 3 times today where someone walked up to me and treated me like I was lesser or at least I felt like they were treating me that way. I could feel the trembling inside and the shrinking. Then I remembered I am sufficient to my best friend! And I could smile and the trembling stopped and I stood up straight.

Last night was the 12 step program and I shared with them what God told me. That I'm sufficient. One guy said, I don't even know God and yet He talks to you!!! I considered telling Him sometimes He dances with me. Decided I best not.

I wrote a list of things I do that I don't want to do. Was brutally honest with myself. I realized I'm worse off than I thought! You may wonder why I would do such a thing. I realized after writing this it took a lot of energy to try to keep all these things hidden. I had been trying to not do them on my own. Once I wrote it out, I was able to let go of trying to hide them and trying to fix myself. It turned into a wish list for God. Gods to do list if He wishes.

I've smiled a lot today. Been much more light hearted.

[deetu]

It's hard when you hit bottom but that usually happens before a breakthru and it looks like your breakthru is happening. woo hoo!!

[Dora]

I've been validated.

If you don't know what I mean by being validated look up validation on youtube.

Went into the store all grumpy and this nice young man named Peter who always bags my groceries started laughing. He is mentally challenged. When I check out I always seek to see what lane he's bagging in because I always leave with a lighter step. So today he starts laughing. I glanced up and smiled. Having no clue what he was laughing about I went on digging through my purse. He laughed again. I looked up again and smiled again. Then continued digging in my purse. He laughed again. I looked up and this time couldn't contain myself. I began to laugh. I looked at the cashier and she burst out laughing. I said something must be funny. She said sure is but I'm not sure if I want to know what he's laughing about. The three of us laughed even louder. I walked out the door filled with such joy over such a little thing I felt like skipping and couldn't quit smiling.

I wonder if Peter knows what he did.

Now hours later I really want to know what was so funny.