Christianity Oasis Forum

[Lani]

Greetings Y'all!!!

I felt or heard to share this so here it is...

To give you a brief history, on an occasional Saturday, I am able to take a few hours for myself. I call this my "Me Time" during which I get away from the worldly stresses that surround my daily living. I'd love this to be a weekly event, but if I am able to do so once a month I feel blessed. I generally travel out of the "lived in" world and spend time in nature. Sometimes this is a close as the local park other times I travel to the mountain where I am surrounded by simply beauty, untouched by humans, and in all the splendor Papa intended. Why do I do this? Because it gives me a chance to see the bigger picture.

Each of us face trials, no one is immune; I've come to understand this. There is beauty in all things, because Papa is in all things. Choosing to see His beauty versus limiting our sight to only see what we deem beautiful is also an individual struggle. OK, history lesson over

October 31, 2009

I park my car in the empty lot and chuckle to myself (thinking) "Who in their right mind gets up this early, travels on quiet roads and parks in a empty lot to travel a path known to well, to sit on a rock perfectly placed by Papa, to watch the same sun rise over the same peaks .... Again?"

"Me!" I say out loud!

Yes, the roads are quiet, the lot deserted, the path well known, the rock Papa's gift, the sun unchanging.... BUT! The view, ohhh endlessly beautiful and always changing.

So, I exit my car; camera, water and keys in hand.

My thoughts wonder as I make my way to the top; the path I know so my thoughts are free to do as they please.

I return to the previous "Who in their right mind?" and allow myself to ponder a bit. "Am I in my right mind?" "Who can say?" " Who am I to judge the right of such?" I know I am in a great season of life, free from pain? hardly, but there is beauty in all of it. I've nothing to waste, everything is appreciated; I am called to help others, and serve Him with an eager, cheerful soul; Friends are to numerous to list here; for each I am ever thankful, each is a treasure, a beautiful gift.

Papa is first, always... ahhh Papa!!! Thank you!

It is dark, but I am not scared for all around me I sense light, His light and it feels brighter then the midday sun. I talk to Papa, in truth it is an ongoing conversation... a dance if you will. I engage in His company all day, everyday. As I've grown, my relationship with Him has changed, dare I say grown. Though rarely easy; I can say I've had rest for those trials, but trials none-the-less....

So, today, on my... His rock, I review some of those trials as I await the sun.

Some questions remain.... so I ask.... "Why Papa? If I've put into words the questions of my heart.. the ones my brain perceives well enough to form into words, why then" .... my thoughts are interrupted; "You already have that answer child, for you ask this often..many times before and many to come." I smiled and wonder if He did also.

It is True, who can argue, certainly NOT I. I do know His answer, and yes I've asked a LOT! Seems He knows I'll continue to ask as well (which tickles my soul and makes my human understanding say GRR!). You see, I do not like His answer, and as any child would... I think if I continue to ask "why" eventually He'll grow tired and say "Fine" here is your answer! shhh (silly human thinking, but anyone who has dealt with a whiny 3 year old knows how tempting it is to let them just have it and hush, we don't give in (usually) yet I keep trying to nag Him into doing the same) I'd like to exchange it.... trade it for one I like better. Ahhh "better" "by whose standard child?" Mine? yes.. mine.. but who am I? I am His child! and still pouting I move on in our conversation.

BUT I'll pause here to share my understanding.

to continue my interrupted question "Why then, don't you just answer them?" Well, I've learned that His answers come in His time, because only He understands the broader meaning of "Time". Just because I've found those questions in my heart, and my brain has formed it into a thought, question, request, prayer... (call it what you will) and even if I've asked it of Him, He doesn't have to answer. Perhaps He waits because He knows I am not ready to hear. Yes I can say I am, I can even think I am (ready) but only He knows if I truly am able to understand.

What good does an answer do if we can't understand it? We must live with the questions, forge ahead (with His lead), rest on Him, and keep our eyes open, what a shame to miss an answer because our faith blinked. In living, in reaching out to others, in ALLOWING Him to lead, our answers will come.

Does that mean trials will stop? Not likely but He is always there, always working, always guiding.

I think it is awesome that we have the opportunity to reach outside of ourselves to help others. In doing so, in sharing what we have learned through Him, in following His lead, we honor His plan and healing continues.

Perhaps upon review of our lives, when we are free from the pain this world tries to heap upon us, when all human limitation is gone and we see with love, perhaps what we see are the friends along the way, the lost souls He leads to us to help Shepperd, the grace of His love and mercy, and the beauty that was around us... rather then the trials we felt lost in when we strayed.... if only we could do so while here on this earth, in this world.

And this my family, is why I travel the quiet roads, and park in the empty lot, to walk the path I know... to sit with my Rock.

I love each of you dearly, Papa loves ya more.

May His peace surround you always and may His light be always present along the way.

Lani

[momof3]

amen sis. ive learned and still need to be reminded at times, that His answers are yes, no and not now. His will be done in all things and in His time...it is perfect.

love you sis, and thank you for sharing this

in Jesus,
love momo

[bigred29]

One thing I love about the time change and when day shift starts for me, I get to see the sun come up. It sure makes the work day better seeing His glorious work in action.

[lizzie]

Thank you so much for sharing your testimony sister lani.

You have been a blessing to many here and I know our Lord is smiling down on you as you serve Him on earth.

Keep on keeping on lani. May God continue to bless and watch over you and your precious little boy.