Christianity Oasis Forum

[searchingforpeace]

I need peace. I need to connect with God that's why I'm here and I think this my last chance.

Everytime I connect with God, it lasts only a short time. I then find myself backsliding. Daily I'm tormented with thoughts of my failures, my mistakes and the empty grave I call my life. I cant forget or forgive the people who've humiliated and ridiculed me.

I've tried to pray through my mental torture but I'm back to square 1. Sometimes I think I'm tormented like King Saul was with an evil spirit.

I can't hold down a job for long because I'm so sensitive to what people say about me. Even now I keep remembering the situations and problems that happened in my life. I haven't prayed for sometime now; why because I feel guilty, feel ashamed and feel hopeless.

I'm jobless again and about to be homeless. I've gone through this vicious cycle over and over. Will this never end...

[Mackenaw]

Hello Searchingforpeace

God bless you this day, and welcome to Christianity Oasis.

God's peace is a true blessing and is one that The Lord will bestow upon those that seek Him with all their hearts. Getting to know Him is key.

I am excited for you as you begin the 14 Day CCCC Study: http://www.christianityoasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm
The study has taught hundreds, if not thousands, how to grow in their relationship with The Lord, as it is Holy Spirit inspired and each portion of the study leans heavily on The Word of God. It is a beginning, so embrace it fully and meditate on the holy scriptures that are shared within each stepping stone, and apply it, The Word/The Truth, to your life. Jesus is The Word, and The Word will set you free.

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. God's blessed and perfect will be done.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[searchingforpeace]

Being brutally honest now. I'm angry, I'm fearful.........

[Dora]

I've tried to pray through my mental torture but I'm back to square 1. Sometimes I think I'm tormented like King Saul was with an evil spirit.

Then tell it to shut up.

No I'm not kidding. I suffer what sounds very simular to you. And telling them to shut up and reminding myself of Gods words help.

What our sister Mackenaw shared was not only caring but truth. I hope you take her advice.

God bless you.

[dema]

The Bible talks about the fiery darts of the wicked one. I find that he throws all sorts of unkind things I've said and such back at me as weapons. The shield of believing quenches all the fiery darts of the wicked one. Believing what? That Christ died for your sins. All those sins are forgiven. Satan bringing them up is a lie - it is just a fiery dart.

Accept salvation again and again. Don't believe the lies.

I suspect that you have buried trauma. As long as you keep it buried, you are likely to self-sabotage. It comes out. It comes out in surprises that you do to yourself. Dealing with it is the better idea.

Hugs.

[mlg]

Hello searching.....wow you have a lot on your plate...big hugs for you. I have a secret to share with you....the truth is...all your troubles come from a spiritual battle that was waged against all Christians from before you were born....we have an age old enemy called Satan...and he will do anything to tear us away from God....but just know this...no matter how many times you fall down in this walk called life....Jesus will always be there to pick you back up...all you have to do is reach out to Him and He will be there. You have hit another bump in the road right now....but don't give up....Jesus is already working....and all He needs you to do is to fully surrender to Him and let him carry your burdens. Jesus loves you and He forgives each and every time we ask if we ask with a sincere and repentent heart. And one more think....we all fall short at times....and sin is in our nature....we can work on not sinning....but there will be times that you will sin....just know in those times that you do sin....Jesus is merciful....and if you repent and turn back to Him...He will willingly take you in His loving arms and forgive you. Seek God and you will find that all things will come together and He will receive the glory for it all. Take care and God Bless

[searchingforpeace]

A heartfelt thanks to everyone who has posted. I've not received this much encouragement in a long time.

I took a step backwards yesterday from the 14 step program. I guess its the pressures of the season and one setback after another. I wrote to a friend (I thought she was a friend) how I really felt about Christmas. Below is an excerpt of what I told her :

I recently read that the highest recorded incidents of suicides happen during Christmas in the US and the UK. Why? Perhaps a case of an unhealthy dose of expectations that realistically cannot be met? The perfect family, the perfect home all done up with Christmas regalia, the accepted quota of friends for a formal or informal party? What if, dare I say it one had no friends, no home, no family and God forbid, no money?
Lets’ take a trip, 2000 or so years to be exact. A babe lying in a manger surrounded only by mom, dad and the friendly neighbor-hood farm animals. What’s wrong with this picture? Nothing except it fails miserably by Forbes standards. That babe born so long ago in the most humble manner, God manifest in flesh, born to bring us hope, peace on Earth and goodwill to all men. Ask yourself, why a manger, why a barn of all places to bring the King of Kings into this world. I wonder did the The Angel herald the wrong people, after all he appeared to mere shepherds not Kings, Queens or what constitutes as the elite of today. Have we forgotten the true meaning of Christmas?


Her initial response was silence followed by a text "meaningful silence is better than meaningless words". I guess what I said was extremely offensive. Strangely this person is involved in evangelism but who am I to critisize except that I belong to that minority group that cant afford christmas emotionally, financially and physically.

Her sister subsequentaly texted a few deragatory remarks to me which I did not reply to. Finally indicating that this was the last I would hear from them.

[searchingforpeace]

[quote][/quote] STEPPING STONE #3

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LET GO OF MY PROBLEMS..............................

Thank you for allowing me to share how I really feel.

[mlg]

Hey there searching,

Well I believe that you are correct, the world has turned Christmas into something it was never meant to be....Jesus was not about money, prestige, Santa Claus, or any of the other things the retail markets and many worldly souls feel it is. In fact Jesus' birth was about one thing....a Savior was born....someone for all people...someone who would redeem the sinners of their sins through His death....yet so many turn away from the Truth....and choose the worldly definition of Christmas for whatever reasons....and we must pray that they will one day come to accept and see the Truth....

As for your problems...you shared you don't know how to let them go....have you tried turning them over to Jesus? If so, do you pick them up again? If you do pick them up again, why do you think you do this?

Keep sharing searching...it's great to hear from you.

Take care

[searchingforpeace]

It gets harder and harder as Christmas draws closer. I wish I could blink it all away......its a horrible feeling being excluded.

[dema]

Expectations.

The spirit of Christmas isn't about money. And it isn't about perfection.

I have found from extensive talking to people that those who are most unhappy have the highest beliefs as to how other people live. That perfect family doesn't exist.

My childhood Christmases were pretty close. My mother worked herself into a frazzle. She didn't sleep much the nights before Christmas. The morning lasted two hours, we ran off to show our friends and then came back to help frazzled mom get dinner on the table. I think she slept at every opportunity for days afterwards. Yes, we loved it. But that isn't the spirit of Christmas.

I've read so many true stories about people sharing at Christmas time. In many ways.

But I think the issue is just spotlighted by Christmas - I expect that you have very high expectations of people and relationships.

Are you easily disappointed by people? Are they really horrid to you - or are you disappointed by small things? And more so - are you giving up to your own expectations? Are you giving to them at the same rate you expect them to give to you?

I'm not talking about money. I am talking about courtesy, acts of kindness, smiles, gratitude......

Maybe you do. Maybe you try so hard to give and give and give. And maybe the thing is that the other person wants an occasional friend and you would like a best friend.

Expectations again. When expectations don't match, people get unhappy. It is hard.

We have carry-in Chinese food for Christmas. I don't want to be frazzled like my mother was. I want to play with toys and have a good time with my grandchildren. I hope that if I wasn't as generous as I am, that they would still be happy and give me hugs and everything would be much the same. God has blessed me. And the biggest blessing is appreciative family. And active time with them.

Honey, how did you get to being alone? Does it go back to being a little girl? Is the real problem being angry about being a lonely little girl?

[mlg]

Searching....Just know that you are cared about here at the Oasis....and as Christmas draws near....you aren't excluded here....in fact we are delighted that you come here. Sometimes we feel ourselves being excluded because we think others are doing more than us for Christmas....but in reality you have so much more than those worldly things you see....you have the gift of Jesus.....and He included you long ago when He chose you as His beautiful child. Hang in there....*hugs*