Christianity Oasis Forum

[tntchao]

Well I am here to confess my sins and get started with healing. Just some background as to what brought me here. Two months ago I was stupid and selfish and told my wife I was leaving her and the kids. I packed up all my clothes and even said goodbye to the kids. As I tried to leave something tugged at me and I could not do it. I went back and my wife said she had had enough and we were going to seperate. We have been sepeared ever since. My list of faults are too many to go into detail but in a nut shell I was a lazy selfish mand, a bad father and an even worst husband. I had infadelity issues with internet porn and online dating. So my wife had every right to leave. I destroyed her trust in me and lost any respect she might have left when I decided to leave. I know what I did was wrong and I have repented. since then I have become a devout follower in Christ. I have emmersed myself in the Bilble and christian books. I pray daily, joined a small group and go to church regularly. My problem is that I can not leave well enough alone. I keep trying to fix the problem instead of letting God work from the inside out. This has pushed my wife even further away. Before she just wanted a seperation now she wants a divorce. I am not giving up on us but I do have to give it time to let God work on it. It is just hard to take such a passive approach to all of this. I have been praying for patients and contentment. Also I have been praying for God to soften my wifes heart. I know she is not completly gone like she says she is. I need some scripture to read. My reading has not spoken alot to me lately. So either Im not listening well enough or Im reading the wrong passages. I just ask for your prayers to restore this family. We have two beautiful children in which they need both their mom and dad. Thank you in advance for your prayers.

[Bearer Of Light]

welcome brother,

It sounds like a painful circumstance you are in. I pray for you brother, that you may find an answer. You have come to the right place to seek God and support from fellow Christians. I'm not a veteran in here but I have experienced many difficulties in my own life and some I can relate to and some I can only pray for understanding.

In my own humble opinion, waiting may push you both further apart. If you know what you want, then ask humbly to speak with your wife about everything. You must be open and honest with her about everything in order to rebuild trust. When I first separated from my own wife (of several years ago), I prayed alot. I prayed so very much for an answer on what to do to let her know what my truth was. She didn't want to see me either at that time, so I wrote her a 28 page letter (14 double sided pages) explaining everything. All my heart and feelings poured out, in positive words, in that letter.

She called me the next day and asked me to move back in with her. And so things were good for a while. We are not together any longer now, (don't take that as a result indicator! God decided that we were not right for one another).
The point I'm trying to make is that I prayed so very much for an answer, and the one I got worked for me and my marriage. What most likely ended the marriage was me not weeding my garden and maintaining that new trust I had renewed with my wife. it does not do to just do one action and think it will be all that needs doing. You need to work on rebuilding and growing past that point. I didnt do that and in all fairness, neither did she.

So, pray to God brother. Pray hard everyday for an answer. If she won't see you, write a letter but ONLY with truth in it.
Tell her what's going on in your mind, in your heart and soul, share with her - what made you do what you did... etc, the more you reveal yourself to her in truth the more she will feel she can trust you. Possibly, she will feel differently towards you about things. It won't be easy and it won't be quick. Take slow steps and pace it. Have faith and keep praying for guidance from our Lord Jesus.

Amen to you Brother for seeking Him.

BoL

[Dora]

Praying for Gods will in your life.