Christianity Oasis Forum

[dabs316]

It seems like these emotional issues are neverending. I was dealing with hidden anger. I think I am getting a handle on it. Learning to recognize it and trying to find its source. Okay I thought that was it. Noooo! Now I am seeing the guilt that lays heavily on my back. Can someone guide me on how to think about some things? I feel like I should have various people over to my house for dinner or a cookout, but the situation is that my husband is the cook. He is also the one who does not want to be bothered, even with his own family. Part of me feels "I should" or really "we should" while the other part is relieved we don't. I freeze up in social situations even with family. Another situation again involves my husband. We were pulling in the parking lot from delivering meals on wheels about a month ago. A fellow pulled up and asked about a meeting at the church. We don't go to that church so we didn't know. I proceeded to give him a card for our church and invited him to come there. Well it started off good. He came to church. We met him there. He is a nice guy who has had a troubled past. Anyway we met him there for about a month. He called on the phone. I spoke with him once or twice. My husband spoke to him once. The guilt comes to me because I feel like "we should" have him over and get to know him. I feel like the Lord led him to us. I would like that. But my husband doesn't want to get involved. Again, "the guilt." Anyway, can anyone tell me what is true guilt and what is just the enemy trying to oppress me?

[Mackenaw]

Hello Dabs

God bless you this day.

It is so good to see you again. What an interesting topic to discuss, and interestingly enough, I was just going through some "guilt" issues myself. Through prayer and talking it out with a friend, I received a revelation from The Holy Spirit. Seldom does The Holy Spirit use "guilt" to instruct me. I do feel a sense that He is trying to get my attention, but it's kind of difficult to find the right word to describe the feeling I get when He is trying to show me something and I'm struggling to understand it...but, it is not guilt. But, when I finally understand -- when the revelation unfolds -- it feels like "relief", and it propels me forward...energizes me. God is so Good!!!

Having said that, let's examine a little of what you shared. You said:

I feel like I should have various people over to my house for dinner or a cookout, but the situation is that my husband is the cook. He is also the one who does not want to be bothered, even with his own family.

If I understand correctly you feel "guilty" for not entertaining people; however, the way you envision "entertaining" is not something you normally do, or may not even know how to do, and that is COOK, additionally you are not the type to be in the forefront -- a leader, but, you probably feel better serving behind the scenes.

When God calls us to do something, He also provides the means by which to do it.

You've mentioned your husband does the cooking, but he really isn't into entertaining either -- even with family. So, to me, unless you have received inspiration, passion and the ability to work for God in this way, I'd say that the suggestion came from another source, other than God. Again, inspiration from The Lord propels us forward, with invigorating excitement, and/or with a sense of peace.

I may have mentioned to you before, that my husband is an awesome cook, and he does most of the cooking in our household. He prepares such wonderful meals for us, and for extended family when occasion arises. However, a few years ago when we were attending a particular church, others (having heard that he was such a good cook -- most likely from my own lips) started volunteering him to prepare meals for other members whenever they were sick. Before long, anytime someone called the church office to report that someone was sick, they automatically called my husband and "assigned" him the task of purchasing, preparing and delivering a meal to the ill person's home. He did so, but he did so as not to disappoint the people who "assigned" the service to him. The problem was, God had not given my husband the assignment, man did.

Yes, we are to help out wherever there is need when we have the means by which to help; however, God is the one that places the passion in us to do it, and then provides the means by which to accomplish it. We can assist God in this process, by continually seeking Him, and checking the condition of our own heart, to see if we are walking in His love.

There are many ways to serve God. Ask Him where and how He would like you to serve. You mentioned that you and your husband were delivering Meals on Wheels when you met the gentleman, whom you invited to church. Delivering Meals on Wheels is providing an awesome service to help others.

Dabs, God loves you, just the way you are. He doesn't expect you to suddenly become this overly outgoing and gregarious personality. He just wants you to live in His love and peace, and allow His love and peace to flow through you onto others. God didn't make a mistake when He made you quiet and reserved, so don't feel you are less than those that are always working in the forefront. I often think of Anna, the prophetess, who prayed day and night for people. I doubt most people knew she was praying for them, but God knew.

I hope what I've written helps you, Dabs, and I hope I have honored God in my response to you. May God's blessed and perfect will be done.

God bless and keep you, Dabs.
Love,
Mack

[dabs316]

Hi Mack,
I'm so glad to hear from you again. I thought maybe I offended you by my previous response about a different issue. Thank you for trying to clarify the difference. I absolutely feel for the position your husband was put in. It ends up not being done out of joy and becomes something you resent and that is not want the Lord wants. He does want a cheerful giver.

I never realized that the "I shoulds" or "we shoulds" or "you shoulds" are so much a part of my stinking thinking. If I don't think like that, who am I? It's wierd but I think that took up so much space in my mind and I dwelt on it so much, I'm not sure how to think any other way. The shoulds became a "law" (of sorts) of which I am not measuring up in my own mind, not God's, so it becomes a burden like the weight of sin. Please pray that God would help me figure these things out in my mind and spirit so I can lay these tormentors to rest. I want to be able to decipher the diffrence between what the Holy Spirit wants me to do and the weight of what my flesh or the enemy wants to put upon me.

Dabs, God loves you, just the way you are. He doesn't expect you to suddenly become this overly outgoing and gregarious personality. He just wants you to live in His love and peace, and allow His love and peace to flow through you onto others

Thank you, Mack, for those beautiful words. I want so much to live in his peace, love and joy, but they seem so foreign to me. What would if feel like to be at peace and from that peace flow love and joy? It seems like it is for everyone else but me. As I say that I know I am feeling sorry for myself and I know that it is a lie. I'm still not quite sure how to access it. I just have to keep believing that He will get me to that place of rest and peace.

By the way, I just wanted to share an awesome miracle Jesus did for a friend of mine. She is in my Bible study. She had liver failure and really went downhill a few months ago yet she wasn't eligible for the transplant list because she wasn't that bad off at that point. Well, she was over her brother's house and stooped down to pull a week, but the weed got the best of her and she feel back and hit her head. Later on they decided to take her to the hospital and get checked out. They found other problems wrong. From that seemingly minor (God ordained) incident, they ended sending her to PA where they do transplants. She was on the list and waiting. They had a liver and she thought she was going to undergo the transplant but it ended up where the liver wasn't in the best shape so they didn't do it. They were going to discharge her home (thinking she'd have to go through all this all over again if she could make it that long) BUT God had other plans. Just as she was thinking she was going to go home, they said they had a liver and were taking her to surgery right away. She got the transplant and now two weeks later she is home. Jesus is so good. He is always right on time. Even when things look the gloomiest, He shines the brightest, doing His best work. She told me the surgery went in the record book because it took less than 2 hours to perform. Where usually it's anywhere from 4 hours on. Isn't that awesome? I just had to share that piece of good news!

Take care Mack. You are always a blessing to me.
God bless,
Dabs

[Mackenaw]

Hello Dabs

Awwwwwww, Dabs, you have never offended me, and I'm always happy to see you posting.

You keep seeking The Lord, and asking The Holy Spirit to rain down His peace and joy upon you. He will, when you least expect it. I'll be praying for you also. May God's blessed will be done.

Hallelujah!!! what an awesome testimony to the blessed mercies of our Lord, given your friend. We serve an Awesome God!!! Thank You Jesus \o/ \o/ \o/

I hate to cut this short, but I need to move my computer so my parents can use this kitchen table, sooooooooo I need to shut computer off for now.

I truly hope to see you around the site more often, Dabs. You are such a dear soul. (((hugs)))

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Mack

[dabs316]

Guess what? A funny thing happened! It seems that I have not been feeling guilty about every little thing I do not do, lately. I believe the Lord brought it to my attention for me to deal with. I hope that I am not speaking prematurely, but it looks like I am more able to recognize those thoughts and figure out if it is valid or not. Sometimes, I am just now realizing, when other people are involved (like a husband), I cannot force an issue. I just need to express it to God and allow Him to work it out His way. God is so good! Amen.
P.S.
Hey, Mack,
Remember when you were trying to explain about how the Holy Spirit niggles at you? Well, I was able to recognize that a few days ago. I went canoeing with two other ladies from my Bible study. We were supposed to have 2 to a canoe, but since 1 did not show up, it was either going to be 3 in a canoe or try to find someone else. When this gentleman started talking to me, he said he was an experienced canoe guide and was going to bring up the rear. I asked him if he had anyone else in his boat. He said no and that I could ride with him. Great! Well, now, one lady found out he was experienced and she was feeling scared so she was hinting for me to switch. Well, it was obvious, but twice I ignored the hint even though she was feeling near panicky (I didn't realize how so until afterwards), BUT then lo and behold (like Peter, the 3rd time is a charm!), I heard the Lord in my spirit remind me of preferring others better than myself. Coulda had a V8! Hello, anybody home? So, of course, I deferred to her. It worked out really awesome because the guy really needed someone to talk to and she is a good talker and invited him to our church. Also, the other girl was getting nervous with my friend being so nervous so she also was relieved that I went with her. Again, if you didn't know it???? God is so very good. I love how He does the smallest things. So very cool. Hope all is well on your end. Take care.

Dabs