Christianity Oasis Forum

[Mackenaw]

Hello Kimby

God bless you this day.

I am so glad you have The Lord and have begun leaning on Him for direction. That is His desire. Wooooohoooooo!!!

You will do well, as long as you lean on Him. He can be trusted.

As far as your mother is concerned, nothing has changed...she still loves you. And bird watching can be an awesome coping device, even to a non-believer. Forgive her. She has gotten the message loud and clear over the last 3 years that you rely on The Lord in making life decisions, and any attempt on her part to advise you has been met with much resistance, perhaps even the catalyst for an argument between the two of you. So whether it's a big flying bird, a flying chicken, an annoying neighbor or whatever...it is just her way of coping, and not giving you unwanted advice. I would imagine she is excited at the prospect of your return home, but she knows you rely on another -- and while this may seem foreign to her, it also gives her peace to know you have been taken care of these last 3 years, and will continue to be taken care of.

She, too, has been through much these last 3 years, and has taken on her own coping devices. I'm sending up prayers for your parents that they receive Christ Jesus as their Saviour. May God's blessed will be done.

Kimby, you continue in my prayers for discernment and The Lord's continued guidance in all your present and future endeavors. God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you, Kimby.
Love,
Mack

[Dora]

Thinking of you tonight. Missed you this weekend.

In agreement with Mack for discernment and guidance.

[kimby]

Ransom.

There is just something about that word! I get excited every time I hear it in a worship song or incorporated into a sermon. I think it gives such a clear, clear picture of what Jesus did for us. It came up in a song last night...which got me to thinking about it all over again.

People and items are held for ransom for one reason only. They are of great value to the one from whom the ransom is demanded. The fact that they are valued is well known. It has to be, otherwise the thief would have never picked that person to be the one held captive. We are valuable to Him. Ransom normally is paid in cash, ours was paid in action, by the giving of not resources and wealth, but by the giving of life. His life for ours. What an exchange!

I looked up the meaning of the word. Definitions included to save, to buy back, to restore, to liberate, to repair and to set free. It comes from the same Latin root as redemption. The dictionary went on to give the antonym...my eyes were really opened and I saw something very new in this word I love. The opposite is to abandon. He has not abandoned us, He has not said we were not worth the price demanded. He chose to pay the ransom to liberate and restore us! Wow! And in His word, He has promised to never leave us...to never abandon us.

So much is wrapped up in that one little word. No wonder my heart warms when I hear it.

[kimby]

I have my first interview tomorrow. There are a few others that are possibilities, but I don't know how soon they might come up. I feel like I don't even know what I want....what grade level, what area. I go back and forth. I realise that I can't pick and choose, that I must apply where I can, and accept the interviews as they come, but I find myself wondering what I will do if I am offered this first position before anymore interviews are scheduled. Should I accept? Should I not? It would be foolish not to, but then I wonder if something with a better location will come up. I will relax a bit after it is over tomorrow.

Called my mother again today to tell her of the interview and a few new openings that have come up. I got to hear all about the bird again. She even had me looking things up on the internet about this mysetery bird. I try to not let it frustrate me, and I realise that part of the reason that it does is simply because I am so stressed right now.

Trust...just keeps coming up. It saddens me when I hear Him tell me that I don't trust Him or that I don't know how much He loves me. Those people of great faith always amaze me. I would love to be one of them...never worrying or fretting...but I am no where near there yet. Maybe one day. I have hope. God reminded me last night during a time of prayer with two people I did not know that He is rebuilding trust in me. Maybe this whole experience is part of that. Maybe I will come out stronger for it.

[kimby]

There is only one word to describe today's interview...WEIRD! I don't know if it was the interview or the people on the other side of the computer. That is a little concerning since I have been offered the position. I should be thrilled to be offered a job with my first interview. I am not. I am just as stressed as ever. I don't know if this is the right position for me or not. I might love it...I might also hate it. They could love me...they could also hate me. In a small school that would be a big problem. I have until Friday to make my decision. That is not nearly enough time. I have looked to the people I allow to speak into my life for their input...it is mixed. I told my mother today that I wished I could be eleven again so she could just tell me what to do. That of course has the benefit of me having someone else to blame if it goes horribly wrong. I know I need to ask God. I haven't yet. I am not sure why. Well..actually, yes I am. It is all the what ifs. What if He says yes? What if He says no? What if He doesn't answer? What if He does answer but I get it wrong? I will get around to asking...I have to. I know He knows best. I know that His plans are good. I know all of this is true...but I still find it hard to trust that it is true.

[kimby]

My decision isn't fully made yet. But at least today I am not feeling as stressed and overwhelmed as yesterday. I think I have identified at least a few of the reasons I was so feeling so unsettled...and several of them have nothing to do with the school. We will see how I feel tomorrow before I have to give my answer.

[Dora]

Did you make a choice? Praying for you to make the right choice. I feel either way things will be ok.

[kimby]

I received an email today extending my deadline until Tuesday. I have a little more time to think this through. I have to say though, that as time has passed, I have started to feel a bit more okay about it all. It's almost like I can 'see' myself there now, a part of the staff. Maybe I just needed a little time.

[Dora]

His will be done. Praying for comfort in the direction He leads you.

[kimby]

I like when things are dead obvious. I hoped that would be the case with my job situation. It doesn't appear that will be the case. I gave a verbal yes to the school district in the unincorporated area on Tuesday. By that point I felt better about it, but in light of today I wonder did I feel better about it because there was nothing else. Today I got a phone call from another school district. They are very interested. Very. It would be easy to think about if there was something that made this new distrcit significantly better than the first. But there isn't. Yes, somethings are better, but others are drawbacks.

I am not sure I should even consider it. After all, I did say yes to the first district. I was raised to stand by my word and honour my commitments. But then again, this isn't the same as saying yes to one birthday party only to later get an invitation to another from someone I like better. This is my life. My career. Does that give me a little more freedom to decide what is best for me over what came first? I am just not sure.

For some foolish reason I tried to discuss it with my mother. She again interrupted me to start discussing the big bird that has moved into one of the maples in her front yard. At least now the bird has a name. That is what she interrupted to tell me. She stopped me trying figure out what I should do next year to tell me to look it up on the internet and tell her what I found. I am afraid I am going to despise that poor bird if I ever see it. Dad again tried so hard to tell me what he thought...of course I have no idea what that is...but at least he tried.

I have the weekend to think this through. To decide whether I will pursue this at all. To decide whether I will pursue another opportunity that has come up also. I am sure that at some point it will become clear. It has to. I just had hoped that it would stay clear and obvious throughout the process.

[Lani]

Kimby

Awww sis, Prayers risin that HIS path is evident and undeniable very soon!

If you haven't already done so, I know you shared that the two are very similar... perhaps look at long term options, what benefits are if any, how they compare, if info is available online regarding staff, consider tenure vs turn around, etc. as you find ways to fill thoughts until He speaks direction.

Always here if ya wish a sis to just bounce thoughts off of to help sort... ya know where to find me

Peace n Luv in Christ,
Lani

[vahn]

Take what is best in the long run , whether you said yes or no to one or five ... after all , living with all the sulda-wulda cuda's later may even prevent you from doing your best to the job you said "yes" to ..... and above all , see what He has to say about all this as well .



Luv ya
In Christ , our Lord