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Lost years, wasted life?

Postby Guest » Mon May 24, 2010 10:35 am

This will be my first time ever posting online about anything. I am a 45 yo wife and mother of two wonderful girls, ages 15 and 19. I also have MS which is a chronic disease for which I am unable to take any of the current treatments. I actually have fared better than many who have had this disease as long as I, but it has definitely taken its tole on me, mostly on my ability to think, recall and/or retain information, my vision and a major problem with indescribable fatigue. This would be stressful, yes, but nothing for me to live with until 13 years ago,my best friend's husband sexually abused my children. I was devastated. I, myself am a survivor of incest and thought I kept my children very, very safe from any such risk. At the time this happened I had just been diagnosed seven months prior, but had been quite weak and sick for about fifteen months. I think that pedophiles prey on families where there is a crisis or sadness already in progress making it easier for them to remain secret. The trauma to my children is something that still breaks my heart and a part of me died that October Sunday morning when my then precious three year old baby told me what had happened. These things all took place in 1997. My walk with the Lord was so sweet, I was closer to Him than I had ever been. My relationship with my Lord was what I treasured most of everything I'd ever known. I have an extensive history of dysfunctional family growing up, so needless to say there are many scars that remain, but the Lord blessed me with my husband and my two babies and I was so content. Those were very hard days that followed, I knew and know in my head that it is not God's fault, that He did not desert me and that He is as broken hearted over the violation of my babies as I. I don't understand what has happened, since that time, I have slowly become somewhat of a hermit, I have no hobbies, I do not go out of the house except for the doctor, grocery store, or my daughter's functions when they have any. I do go to church on Sunday morning, but I am not very steadfast. I hate what I have become. I feel that my life, if you can call it that, is a waste, I have squandered so many years, I feel so worthless. I don't know how to recover, how to, first of all, heal my relationship with my Lord. And then I would so love to be a good steward of the life that he gave me......Can anyone help me, please?
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Postby mlg » Mon May 24, 2010 11:15 am

Hey Calliopie, welcome to the Oasis. We are delighted to have you here with us. I know the perfect person to help you sis...and His name is Jesus. He loves you and He can be everything you need. I'm not sure if you are doing the counseling steps here or not...but if not I'd like to recommend them to you. Here is the link: http://www.christianityoasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm

There is healing in these steps and they will also help you to reestablish your walk with the Lord. I know that you have been through a lot and the enemy would like to keep you in the past holding all the pain and regrets against you...but Jesus has other plans for you...He wants to pick you up and restore you and your family and to make you renewed in Him. There is hope my sister...and you are now on your way to finding that hope.

Praying for you and your family. Come visit us sometime in the chatroom.

Take care and God Bless
Do you know my Jesus? Do you know my friend? Have you heard He loves you? If not, I'd like to introduce you.
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Postby morningrain » Mon May 24, 2010 11:45 am

Welcome to Oasis Calliopie, you've stepped into the right place. You may seem you have lost years but you haven't. No matter what lean on the Lord. He still is as sweet as the first day you met Him. We all get away from the Lord at times but He made promise saying, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Even though we can get sidetracked by things in life. i've found when ever i found myself getting side tracked, the Lord was right there waiting on me to come call on Him and place my trust in Him. Thats easier said then done but nothing is impossible with God. Seek and ye shall find Knock and it shall be opened to ya. Prayer Sis and keep praying and i'll be praying with you. Know the Lord is incontrol of your life and your girls life. put it in His Hands. :)

Lord Bless you much Calliopie
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Postby momof3 » Mon May 24, 2010 4:58 pm

Hi Calliopie...so glad you are here. The Lord has heard your heart and your prayers...and has led you here for a reason. I too, encourage you to do the study mlg listed above to you.

We get ourselves in ruts, sis. Surrounded by the world and worldly situations and when we finally realize we've been in this slow fade, we look around and wonder how we got there....where the years went...how far are we from Him? He's been with you though, patiently waiting for you to turn to Him again with everything you have..every situation you are surrounded with..and all the pain you are carrying. You are never too far for Him to reach.

again, im so glad He led you here. Through the steps you will see the truth in His unconditional love...and have that peace again that you are so desperately seeking.

God bless you and know that we are all praying for and standing with you in this. you arent alone. *Pray*

In Jesus,
love momo *Halo*
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.
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welcome dear friend

Postby huelsingbroad » Tue May 25, 2010 6:47 am

i call you friend because there are no strangers in Christ. we are one.. just this morning, i too, thought of the wasted years in my walk with Jesus. but once we have repented and asked for forgiveness, He wraps His loving arms around us, and puts us back on the right path. we are to forget those things which are behind, look forward to those things which are before and press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God.
a great gospel song says that a saint is just a sinner who fell down and got up. the strength for the journey is in the journey.
i am not belittling your experience(because i personally know what ur going thru) i am magnifying HIM. we have an high priest who is moved with the feeling of our infirmities, so u can go to HIM.
tell HIM how much you love and miss HIM. begin to read the bible again, asking the Holy Spirit to restore the joy of salvation and to reveal the love of Christ to u once again.
love u and praying for you
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