Christianity Oasis Forum

[Joyfulsongs]

Hi Everyone, I am a disciple of Christ and proud of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am a Holy Spirit Filled Believer and have come a long way and I know that the Lord is still working on me and bringing me further into healing.

I want to try and make this quick but still share my testimony with everyone.

I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. I was abused in all ways. My mother was in and out of the hospital the majority of my life.

I was known as the "R" in the house. Now I hate saying it but those who don't know what this stands for it means "retard" I was diagnosed with some learning disabilities and other disabilities as well such as ADHD, Argumentative Impulsive disorder, Borderline Intelligence, Oppositional defiance disorder and others. It was not easy for me growing up. No matter what I did I couldn't gain my parents and then stepdad's approval. I wasn't smart enough and I didn't do anything right.

I grew up distanced from my brother. He was sent away when I was only 9 years old. I grew up with two other siblings who well have grown to seem see me as better off dead.

I grew up in a very religious home. Oh I knew and believed in God and I kept saying the sinners prayer but I didn't know know that there was more to it then that. I had no clue God truly loved me or wanted me. When I was abused by my abuser I was told that they did it because God loved me. And then I was told I was a very bad girl and so on. I began to run from God. I prayed and I did love Jesus but to me God did not love me. I was told once that when God handed out Brains I must've thought HE said peanut butter sandwhich and got in line for that instead.

However I was a fighter I pushed forward and I fought to prove everyone wrong. Doctors and my family told me I'd never live on my own, never amount to anything, never go to College, never get my license and so on.

Well I am pleased to say finally with the help of friends almost two years ago now I came to truly know our Heavenly Father and accepted Jesus into my heart and stopped running. It hasn't been easy mind you. I started college and am now almost finished, I got my license even. I had already proved I could live on my own when I turned 24.

Little by little God has started to heal my heart. Daddy is helping me to forgive those who have hurt me throughout my life and i'm not just talking about my family, I speak about others who also say they Follow Christ. HE has shown me nothing is impossible in HIM and that HE gave me a child's heart for a reason. Although many adults cannot relate to me and do not want to relate to me and are even ashamed to be seen around me or spend time with me with their other friends I am not here for them I am here to make a difference to children.

Holy Spirit has come upon me and showed me just who I am in the Lord and how beautiful I am to HIM and worthy to. HE even gave me a beautiful new name. I was healed from asthma two years ago. I still struggle sometimes with my lungs but the asthma is definitely gone and has been proven. I am praying I will be completely healed in other ways.

I still have a long way to go but I've come quite a long way. I still struggle with my emotions, with the pain in my heart, I still struggle getting out of my head (not sure if you know what I mean) I also still struggle making things come out the way they are supposed to. Writing has always been easier then speaking for me, though not many would agree to that since I do talk to so much but truth be told I don't really like to talk as hard as that is for people to believe.

The Lord also rescued me from homosexuality. You see I didn't think anyone else could ever love me. I had dated once but the man abused me. I thought I was worth nothing and then I didn't realize love was a choice. I fell in love with a woman who treated me like I mattered and I turned in the wrong direction. But Daddy God came and rescued me from it. HE showed me how that was not what HE wanted for me and that HE had plans for me and that Love was indeed a choice as was everything else. I was able to get out of that relationship and I began to pray for the person I had been with. I watched as she too turned to God and walked away from sin.

I continue to pray for my earthly family. I have lost everyone of them because I follow Christ and they do not. My mother however praise God I know I will see in Heaven again. Just two weeks before she died she gave her life to Christ.

Right now I just desire to be with the Lord, I only want to obey HIM and do as HE has requested. Oh I struggle in many areas but the Lord has been lifting me up and strengthening me. I may still be single and childless but I know Daddy will show me in due time where HE wants me. I am fighting right now to finish college with one semester to go and money owing but I know HE will provide.

HE never promised me the road would be easy but HE did promise me HE would always be with me through it all and carry my burdens. I praise HIM for it. I couldn't live without our Lord in my life.

I had even once been a cutter/self harmer, anorexic/bulemic/ addict/ alcoholic. Praise God though I am none of these things. Yes I still am tempted at times to self-harm when I am filled with strong emotions that are not joy or happiness however Daddy has always saved me from it and given me the way out and wrapped HIS arms around me. This is such a wonderful thing to me. I have self-harmed now in a year and I have been clean and sober for almost four years now.

Praise be to Jesus, I know I'm making a difference now, I am a more positive person, though I have my down times but we all do. People come to me about the Lord and ask questions or ask for advice and I'm able to redirect them back to our Father. Yes I am a miracle and I know it and Praise God HE has blessed me such a great deal.

I am so grateful I am able to share this story with you.

It's not all of my story but if I put it all here it would be too long.

God bless

[Mackenaw]

Hello Joyfulsongs

God bless you this day, and welcome to Christianity Oasis.

I enjoyed reading your testimony and I praise The Lord for His grace, His love and the faith He has given you. Hallelujah!!!

Thank You Jesus!!!

Looking forward to seeing you around the site, Joyfulsongs.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[Timothy]

Awesome testimony!!!

Thank you for sharing, is a blessing!

Timothy

[Joyfulsongs]

Thank-you Mack and Timothy and yes our Lord is so good to all of us. It was only through HIS mercy and grace that I am here today and have a wonderful brand new life and perspective as well. It is because of HIM I am alive as HE has saved my life on multiple occasions Looking forward to getting to know you as well.

[ServeGod]

Awesome testimony...love how your mum gave her life to Christ before she died..
This is a good place, Gods family.. We might not meet in person, but we will meet you in Spirit.
God indeed has wonderful plans for you, your a strong, powerful, wonderful woman of God.
Your heart is in the right place, and when we walk according to His word, His perfect will and purpose will shine through...and your shining girl. !