Christianity Oasis Forum

[momof3]

As I sit here wondering and praying about where to start, the Lord Jesus is speaking gently, "start at the beginning..it is not about you, its about the mercy and grace I have to offer my people". As a child, who like so many here, was abused by a family member, the walls started going up at the early age of 5. Although I was raised in a "Christian" home, there was not much mentioned in the name of Jesus. It was through my grandmother's insistance that my sister and I were even able to attend church. At the alter calls, every alter call, I was there...bearing the hurt and my assumed guilt about the abuse I felt was my fault. During this time I had taken on a belief system....God is there...God is too big and only hears the ones who are strong enough to help themselves and stay away from sin. Some years later the abuse stopped as family situations changed. It wasn't until several years later that I was able to tell anyone, including my family, about what had been going on. In knowing that I had to forgive this person, all I could do was pray that God would help me forgive and that He wouldn't hold this person's actions against him on my account. The Lord showed me after I was grown how ill this man was in his mind. Total forgiveness in my heart came as the Lord showed me the truth in this man's life and what he had lived through that caused his mental illness. The walls were still up, however, and I didn't even know they were there.

Eventually, I married and had the first of my three sons. He was born early and had several birth defects that would require several operations. I remember one night after his first operation, I walked in to his hospital room. There was this tiny baby in this huge bed. He had tubes going in and tubes coming out of his feet, his head, arms and legs. He was on a respirator as he could not breathe on his own. As he lay there with this tube coming out of his little mouth, he was crying, but they were silent tears. With the respirator in his throat, he could not make a sound. All I could do was pray. Until some of the tubes were removed, I couldn't hold him. I remember thinking that his heart was as broken as mine was.

As time went on, this little boy had more and more surgeries. Each time the Dr. operated, he hoped that maybe he had gotten all of the tumors that time.....the hope that I had in the beginning was fading quickly and quietly. The boy was on an apnea monitor at home that would automatically notify the fire department down the street from our house if he stopped breathing. It was around this time, I heard of a specialist in California who knew more about the condition my son had. I took him to this hospital with more hope than I had had in a while. The Dr. there said the only way to get rid of the tumors was to take my son's tongue out as the tumors were wrapped around his main lingual nerve and spread throughout the inside of his tongue. I was frantic. I called the Dr here in Arizona, and was told to bring him back here. He met me at the hospital when we arrived back in Phoenix, and he admitted my son. He told me he would watch the swelling in tongue to see how much would have to be removed.

The following Sunday, all hope lost, the Lord, gently called me to go back to church. It should be understood at this point that I had no faith and felt that I knew God could heal this child and because I was "doing something wrong in His eyes", He was choosing not to do so.

At church that Sunday, we had a guest speaker. This man had been involved in drugs and alcohol as a kid. His mom was a prayer. She begged him every Sunday to go to church with her, which he would refuse to do every Sunday. One day, on her knees in prayer for her son, the Lord spoke to her. He told her to stop. He told her this child was His, He had created him and knew how to reach him. He told her to stop asking this young man to go to church. The following Sunday, this praying mom went to church without asking her son to go. He was relieved until weeks later he thought as she walked out the door, "oh, my Lord, the only person who cared has stopped!". From that moment on, the Lord began speaking healing and deliverance to this soul and eventually revealed His calling in this young man's life. I don't know if this man ever knew how the Lord had spoken to me through his message or not, but I do know the Lord was telling me to give my son back to Him. He knew how to heal him and that by the time He was finished in the situation, it would be obvious to all involved that it was His hand that had moved. My son's tongue never swelled after that time. He has had several operations since then for that condition and others, but the tongue that should have been removed is still there, praising God for all His mercy.

This boy is now grown. He has made many mistakes, as we all have, but he is in prison for another 8 months. Through the time he has been incarcerated, the Lord has called him back to Himself and has delivered him from drugs and alcohol addictions. As a teenager he got involved with the wrong people and activities. As bad as this may sound, the Lord once again, saved this boy's life as, if he were left out in the streets as he was, he would be dead. It took the Lord's intervention, once again, to stop the silent tears that had so often been a part of our lives.

Over the last few years, our Father has touched my life in ways I would never have expected, but in all situations, He has shown me that it is His hand, His mercy, His amazing grace that moves in and through our lives. When we hit brick walls....it is His grace that has brought us there. The works He wants to do in our lives can only be done when we are humbled enough to see that its not because of anything we have done, but by His will and mercy that it is done. We have no right to boast in anything when all the glory is to go to Him.

I would like to talk with anyone who has a child in prison. This is a hard subject to talk about, but as someone here has told me, you are not alone.

May the Lord's peace fill you all and touch your hearts with love overflowing and abounding. I love you all and am so thankful the Lord has led me to be a part of this family here at Oasis.

In His perfect love,
Momof3

[Sylvia]

Hi Momo3
I don't have a son in prison but I have one son with a problem with drugs and alcohol and another son who is mentally ill and learning disabled.
Your post was a blessing to me especially when you said God told the ministers Mother that her son was His and He knew what would reach him.
God has been telling me that too. I just found out he got hurt at work today. My husband has gone to the hospital. I am sick with the flu.
I stayed home. But I know my heavenly Father is in control.
Thanks for sharing
Sylvia

[momof3]

Hi Silvia,

Thank you so much for your response. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I would love to talk with you sometime. God bless you and yours.

Take care, sister

Love in Him,
Momof3

[Poefenjaf]

Mom?

You man!
I love you mom - sooo much!

[lizzie]

Momma

Aww... Thank you so very much for sharing your awesome testimony of God's love and mercy with us.

It reminded me of this scripture:

Psalms 30:5 weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

There is always hope, and no matter how dark it seems, there is His light waiting to bring us peace and love and joy.

God's sometimes allows us to go thru these sufferings so that we can one day be living testimonies to others who are in the same situation,giving them hope and bringing glory to Him.

I am so blessed to have read your testimony, of your's and your son's life, and I want you to know how blessed I am to have met you sis. You always bring a smile to my face, and your love for the Lord is unmistakeable.

Luv u sis and I pray God's blessings for you and your family

lizzie