Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

I have heard it said,that God will not put on us to heavy of a burden,that we are unable to bare.I do not believe that anymore as my affliction with chronic tinnitus has become just that.I want so much to believe that God has forgiven my past horrible sinful life,that I am now his child,that he is not angry at me anymore.But this sickness cause,s much doubt inside of me.For anyone here that perhaps read this,if there is anyone left in the world that actually cares anymre.Tinnitus is a high ringing sound,either in ones ears or in the brain.Now I know many will say,oh I know about that I have it or someone I know has it.Its nothing just a little ringing.
But that is not so for some of us.,it has different degrees,and for some it,s a condition affect all of life.Have you ever heard a tea kettle as it reaches the highest point as it boils,that high pitched screaming sound.Well that is what I live with now much of the time.Ain,t life grand!
For years it was very low and I can live with it till it reaches a certain pitch,then it is torment,and it is torment I just can not deal with.
There is not much help in the medical field either as they are trying to understand it to,so it,s hard to find any kind of help.Today I go to see my doctor and get on some of the medications that they find have been giving some relief to people.But the medications I will have to try are very strong,with lots of possible side affects,and possible addictive use.
I want to believe that there is a God,i have for a long time.But where is now,where is healing,. life has always been hard for me,and I have never been very strong emotionally.Now this!!An affliction no one can see,few understand,so any compassion forget about that.
Lately I have been finding it harder and harder to go to God in prayer,because I am doubting,doubting the existance of love at all.I dont know why I am writing here,what can anyone do.I guess just say a prayer for me some day when you have a little time...tks dennisp

dennis, is there a Spirit filled full gospel type church around you that you can go to for hands on healing prayer? A Spirit filled person will listen to God ask they are praying to hear how to pray for that person. Could be something that needs to be forgiven that you didn't realize or could be an attack to keep you down but God knows.

My Pastor went to Brazil for a mission trip. The Brazilian people believe in miracle healings so many manifest there with the people laying hands and praying. Amazing stories of deaf hearing, tumors shrinking, legs growing...

It is possible and still happens. No church, find a conference and travel to it for the prayers.

Father, continue to keep dennis lifted up
help him to find a church that will fill him with what he needs
let know know it is the right place
And give him faith that he will be healed
In Jesus' name I pray
amen

Dennis,

I truly am sorry to hear of the pain you are dealing with daily! I DO understand about pain, not the same kind as you. I have an ACUTE case of FIBROMYALGIA. I'm sure you have heard of it on t.v. with all the wonderful commercials of a new healing drug? Well, I can't take that wonderful drug, due to the side affects.

I will just tell you what I have found out going through my problems with Fibromyalgia, and maybe it will shed some light on what you need to look at in your life.

First of all, I truly believe that your physical problems have anything to do with your sins of the past! There are different religions that do, but from my understanding of the WORD OF GOD, this is not true. Let me try to help you understand what I feel about this.

I was bed ridden for over 2 yrs with this problem of mine before I could understand why. I believed as you, that the sins from my past was why I was going through all that. I have been a Christian off & on for over 30 yrs., so it wasn't like I didn't know what the Bible said, or what living a Christian life was all about. I knew all that, and still believed that he was punishing me for my past sins. UNTIL, the Lord showed me as clear as day that HE HAD FORGIVEN MY SINS, WHY WOULD HE PUT ME THROUGH ALL THIS IF HE HAD FORGIVEN ME? I said... 'well, because I deserve all the pain for everyone I hurt, including Him.'

Well, He has a way of showing us TRUTH when we are looking for the TRUTH. It sounds like that is exactly what you are doing too. So, the TRUTH is, I learned why I was where I was at. It was to help me see the truth that GOD LOVES ME, and always has, and always will! He had to LET this problem get worse to stop me in my tracks so I would have no where else to turn but to HIM. Not to hurt me, but to HELP me!

I'm sure you know the story of JOB... He didn't deserve anything he went through! But, God allowed it to happen to PROVE to satan that he was a FAITHFUL SERVANT. Did Job like what he was going through? NO!!! Did he understand it? NO!!! Did he curse God? NO!!! Don't think that he didn't come close... he was human. But, he had something that we all need to KEEP in us.... He had FAITH to believe that no matter what he was going through, no matter how much pain he had to endure, he was going to be FAITHFUL to GOD!

Boy did that ever hit home for me! Cause with fibromyalgia your whole body is in severe pain, to the point if someone touches you, it feels like you have been beat for hours. I was on pain medication plus an anti-depressant for pain. And still, was in so much pain. UNTIL, I learned to TRUST GOD, and lean on Him for my everyday healing. Am I healed now? NO! Am I better? Some days! Am I angry? NOT ANY MORE! I'm closer now than I ever have been to the Lord.... and the reason is my fibromyalgia! Why would I be mad if it was the thing that led me to the TRUTH? That would be dumb, if you ask me!

This is what you need to look at in your life. Not that you are paying for your past sins. If you asked the Lord to forgive you.. He forgave you! It's no longer a problem. Ask Him what He wants to show you through all this... and YES... it's not an easy road. He never promised us an easy road. He only promised us HE WOULD BE WITH US EVERY STEP OF THE WAY DOWN THAT ROAD! 'He will never leave us or forsake us'.. EVER!!!

For years now, when bad things happen to me, I have always tried to look at it as a learning process, instead of asking the question 'WHY'. I always ask, 'WHAT? What are you trying to show me Lord?' It has really helped me to understand a lot of things I never would have seen had I been asking 'WHY'.

I again, can't begin to understand the pain your going through. All I can do is to try and help you to search for the TRUTH. Satan is soooo goood at throwing these things at us, hoping we will be destroyed. Don't you think satan knows your weakest point? YOU BET HE DOES!!! Do you think he cares? NO!!!! He is glad your in pain... glad your questioning GOD... glad your DOUBTING GOD! His job will be complete if you decide to GIVE UP! So... now that you know the TRUTH of WHO it is that has given this ringing in your ear, what are you going to do about it? Let him win? Or, make him wish he never chose YOU to do this too?

By us fighting satan and winning.... we have WON the battle! We are soldiers in God's Army... the only way to win is to FIGHT! We have to FIGHT THE BATTLES WITH FAITH, KEEP THE COURSE, & ENDURE THE COST! That's why you have been chosen by satan... he gave this problem to you because he was afraid of how strong you were, or what you could do for the Lord. Do you think he chooses those who are weak in the faith? NO!!! He knows his time is short, he wants to get all he can to fall and go straight to hell with him. SO... prove to him you ARE strong, and you WON'T give up the fight, even if it means having this problem until you die! Don't let him win!!!

I don't know if you have tried this, but turn on some Christian music ... loud... and just let it soooothe you. I keep it on all the time... I LOVE MUSIC... I listen to contemporary Christian music.. but all Christian music is great... it keeps satan MAD... and we want to do that for sure!

I don't know if you have gone through any programs on here, but if not, you need to start with the Christian Counseling one. That is the one that turned my thinking around on sin. And many other things. One of my biggest problems was not FORGIVING MYSELF! I forgave everyone else and thought I was happy. Boy was I wrong! You will find MANY TRUTHS in all the programs on this site. That is why you are here, that is why you wrote what you did. You are seeking help.... so .... seek away!

We are all behind you here. You will find that you will meet many good Christian people on here that are struggling as you but in different ways. But they have the Love of the Lord in them to help others and in the meantime it is helping them too. You will see. I believe with all my heart the Lord has sent you to us, as well as us to you. You have much to give, as all of us do. But, it is up to you to see that for yourself.

I am here for you as well as many others. I will be praying the Lord give you the VICTORY in this battle you are going through. There will be another and another until you die... so.... prepare yourself. But I believe if *WHEN* you win this battle... you will see that each battle you go through you will be stronger for the next one. I promise you that!!!

As you can see... I love writing... I keep thinking I am done... then the Lord gives me something else to tell you... Just remember, we are here and there is nothing that is too BIG FOR GOD!!!

May the Lord hold you in His arms and give you STRENGTH in this battle! HE WILL WIN... JUST LET HIM HELP YOU!!!

Love in Christ,
Linda