Christianity Oasis Forum

[helenau]

Brothers and sisters, please allow me to share my story as a ritual of releasing myself after struggling for 30 years. Would you please share your thoughts, how would you feel if you experience out of these, help me understand if my feelings are reasonable and how much distance I need to walk from the abnormal zone to the normal zone. Help me process these experiences.

Please allow me to pretend to be someone else and tell the story. Helen was the result of their violation of China's family planning. Local culture values boys more. She grew up in a dark, wet basement. At age 2, she got burned to her face and hands when she was left at home alone. She wished people could comfort her, but all she received was tough love, harsh criticism and blame whenever she made a mistake. This dysfunctional communication style has been circulating in the family. She had to isolate herself to protect herself and tried not to cause any trouble. Soon she had CBD and ADD and could not focus at school. She was discriminated at school and had no friends. She started to have developmental delays(mainly cognitive and communication skills)and misperceptions about herself, others and the world. At age 6, her mother had schizophrenia, often threatened and beat her in hallucination episodes. She didn't cry. She took whatever happened to her because she didn't know what to do. One night, she heard a loud noise, before she could realize, she was beat by a stick to her legs. Her mother left. She then fell asleep in terror. At age 10, her toes were injured and bleed a lot when she helped with harvest work. She was so scared of being blamed than dying that she secretly wrapped her toes with a dry but unsterilized cloth. At age 12, her mother was injured in the brain in a fight with another woman. She had to ran to her aunt for help and sent her mother to hospital. Back home, she comforted her younger sisters and fell asleep in terror. She didn't cry. At high school, she started to have sleeping problems. In young adulthood, she had eating and emotional disorders because of stress and anxiety. In 2006, an online friend introduced Jesus to her. She started to learn to be a good person. In 2009, she had suicidal thoughts and stood at the gate of a church, didn't know what to do. She had no friends in real life. She took medication and moved on, never went back. In her free time, she started to restudy the 9–year basic educational courses. In 2011, she had serious insomnia, couldn't sleep for 4 days in a roll, and had to take medication for the whole year. In 2012, She had to stay in hospital alone for two months during Spring Festival, in order to fix the damages caused by the fire and get a stable job, but she couldn't hold that stable job or any other full time job because of several recurrences of depression. So she had to rely on part-time jobs to survive. She had more time to study. She also tried to mingle with people, but was unable to maintain any relationship. She has to isolate herself again. In 2015, she finished her study plan and had complete common knowledge. She corrected the developmental delays and misperceptions. She finally woke up. As she digged out more memories, she felt an overwhelming sense of sorrow and terror. Her depression worsened. She lost lots of weight. She had vitamin B/C deficiency, fatigue, allergic reactions, and inflammation. She was sick at home for one year in 2016, couldn't walk out of her neighborhood. She couldn't work and almost finished her savings. Last August, she looked for hope, thought of Christianity, understood the truth through lots of readings, and finally converted to a Christian. God's words increased her strength and wisdom. She prayed and waited and could not go to church until last December. She was still too weak and had to sit on the floor of the subway carriage on her way to church. She thought everythin

[notforgotten]

Nourishment and exercise has always helped me. I find that keeping busy keeps me out of my head and away from unwanted thoughts. You have chosen the right faith, keep going with that. God bless.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Helenau

God bless you.

I'm glad you returned, and I'm glad you are reaching out and seeking godly advice.

Something you wrote within your latest post is this:
God's words increased her strength and wisdom


Helenau, that is the answer. Continue to read God's Word, because The Word, Jesus, is Life. I hope you will also return to the church you attended, even if it requires that you once again sit on the floor of the carriage. There is hope, love, life and healing in Christ Jesus. Jesus is The Word. Plus, surrounding yourself with other God fearing and God loving people will strengthen you, as well.

I hope you'll read the 14-Day Counseling Study on this site. It is such a blessing because it's foundation is based on The Word of God. Here is a link to that blessed study: http://www.christianityoasis.com/cccc/forum.htm

God bless and keep you,
Sister Mack

[notforgotten]

Beautiful, the mess we are...

[Begin1]

Hi henelau,
I hope you're doing fine!
And you are continuing with your studies
If you do have time focus on joining a study group! There are a ton online! This maybe a step you can take in the right direction.


Ah, Lord GOD! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you " (Jer 32:17) Pray to God , study the bible, and obey the commandments.