this is me.
Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 8:26 amhey everyone!
i just thot maybe....well, this is kinda hard for me...I never usually open up 2 people...but this is the real me. I know almost everyday I come on chat, all smiles, always ready to listen, always happy. 2 tell u the truth...smtimes I don't even wanna talk about someone else's problems with them, i want the spotlight 2 be on ME. lets talk about ME. but thats when i hafta stop and go "talking about myself? no. other people have it way worse than me, i cannot, i MUST not complain". but now... sigh i really dunno how 2 say this...so i'm gonna be honest. I'm not the happy, smiling 12 year old girl you all see. inside...i have more hurt than i ever imagined I could have just stored up. the worst part is, i'm still confused as to how it even got there. please don't take offense, i beg u, i mean this in the best way...but this place was\is like my escape, my hideout, no one here was ever mean or cruel 2 me, like some people i could mention in my life. i've had depression, and all of u guys r the only ones in my life who believe me, not even my best friend whose stuck by me thru thick and thin does. my family is corrupt, my dad's half of the family is completly messed up, my mom's part isn't really there for me, so this is where i turn.
another thing is...well u guys r gonna think i'm crazy...but i'm "special". i can't find words to tell u guys how, its sorta a spiritual thing that only God can understand. i'm not like, mental or anything, i'm not insane, but its like, spiritually special. i think i might still be on my journey to Him, if that makes sense. I'm a christian...but i'm kinda new (i became one at 4 years old...so 8 years. is that young? i feel young) *sigh* u guys probably all think I've got bad mental issues now. and i don't blame u, i have issues. i'm hurt, still kinda confused, and trying to have His peace. but it ain't easy.
i just thought of smthing that describes me: "has anyone told you she's not breathing?" Hello, by Evanescence. teehee. ok not teehee, that actually sounds sad. but yeah, there's me.
i'm srry if i sound dramatic, or like I'm overreacting...which i probably am. i tend 2 beat myself up, or over-exaggerate, its smthing i'm working on getting rid of...but again, that ain't easy either.
i wanna thank all you, for helping thru my ups and downs
Especially Lani, HelloMyNameIsSimon, PrincessMcLeod (I LUV U MY EPIC SISTA!) Mike 2, and loads others. I LUV U ALL 2 BITS!! 
i just thot maybe....well, this is kinda hard for me...I never usually open up 2 people...but this is the real me. I know almost everyday I come on chat, all smiles, always ready to listen, always happy. 2 tell u the truth...smtimes I don't even wanna talk about someone else's problems with them, i want the spotlight 2 be on ME. lets talk about ME. but thats when i hafta stop and go "talking about myself? no. other people have it way worse than me, i cannot, i MUST not complain". but now... sigh i really dunno how 2 say this...so i'm gonna be honest. I'm not the happy, smiling 12 year old girl you all see. inside...i have more hurt than i ever imagined I could have just stored up. the worst part is, i'm still confused as to how it even got there. please don't take offense, i beg u, i mean this in the best way...but this place was\is like my escape, my hideout, no one here was ever mean or cruel 2 me, like some people i could mention in my life. i've had depression, and all of u guys r the only ones in my life who believe me, not even my best friend whose stuck by me thru thick and thin does. my family is corrupt, my dad's half of the family is completly messed up, my mom's part isn't really there for me, so this is where i turn.
another thing is...well u guys r gonna think i'm crazy...but i'm "special". i can't find words to tell u guys how, its sorta a spiritual thing that only God can understand. i'm not like, mental or anything, i'm not insane, but its like, spiritually special. i think i might still be on my journey to Him, if that makes sense. I'm a christian...but i'm kinda new (i became one at 4 years old...so 8 years. is that young? i feel young) *sigh* u guys probably all think I've got bad mental issues now. and i don't blame u, i have issues. i'm hurt, still kinda confused, and trying to have His peace. but it ain't easy.
i just thought of smthing that describes me: "has anyone told you she's not breathing?" Hello, by Evanescence. teehee. ok not teehee, that actually sounds sad. but yeah, there's me.i'm srry if i sound dramatic, or like I'm overreacting...which i probably am. i tend 2 beat myself up, or over-exaggerate, its smthing i'm working on getting rid of...but again, that ain't easy either.
i wanna thank all you, for helping thru my ups and downs
Especially Lani, HelloMyNameIsSimon, PrincessMcLeod (I LUV U MY EPIC SISTA!) Mike 2, and loads others. I LUV U ALL 2 BITS!! 
Lani