Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

If I can, Im asking everyone to keep me in your prayers Im not doing very well at all, I have reached a depression that I cant get out of. Im either not sleeping or sleeping to much, right now im not eating. I keep thinking it would be better to end things. I know thats not right. I do know I have God on my side and I have been doing the councling here and jumping in chat when things are filling my mind but I dont want to bother anyone so I try and just pretend Im fine. I know in God's time things will work out the way he wants them too. But then Why cant I pull myself out of this??? I just want to be normal.. Well thank you for taking the time to read this .

Dear Chantel103,

I will pray for you

One thing I would like to share...and Please understand I am talking about me...

There were lot of times in my life that I thought I had God on my side and I now know that was wrong...at least for me.

What it meant for me was I was gonna do what I wanted to do and I wanted God to give me His blessing for doing my will.. i realize now, at least for me, That I need to be on God's side and do what He asks me...God's side is the only side that matters. search your self and see if you have been trying to do what I did...get what I wanted, or get my healing on MY terms and asking God to bless that...it did not work for me.

I haven't been on alot lately and I miss the way you shower us all with Glitter.

Praying for your healing...

hi Chantel ...

I understand and ... you are never a bother. Just wanted you to know that

Please keep reaching out ... pretending hurts us more than it helps; if you are doing the counseling I encourage you to journal on the forums about it and get input into those thoughts going on in your head - it can help when we expose them.

I know this is hard for you ... and I would think very very scary as well

you aren't alone

I don't think we can pull ourselves out - not on our own; we can submit to God's pulling us out though when we stop kicking and fighting him at every step because we are holding on to the lies

Praying for you

Hey sis! Pretending never helped anyone, but only hurts oneself. Stop the pretending, be real and let others know how you are doing. We are all here to help each other. None of us has to do this on our own hun. You are NEVER a bother! I think all would agree with me that we would glady share in your pain and your suffering. The bible says to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. Let the love and prayers of your brothers and sisters in Christ be your strength to get you through. We love you here and are praying for you!

Praying for you and wanting you to feel better. I know how it is to be sad and not be able to overcome it. You try to do normal things and you just want to sit and cry. Keep doing the counseling and praying. God is right there with you. Please come chat with us cuz we all love you lots.

Thank you all for the replys. I dont know if I can do the journals on a regular basics, all my thoughts out in the open for everyone to see?????? oh boy thats a very big step. I have wrote some things on the forms before and ended up deleting them pretty quick cuz I got scared and would end up having a panic attack but will try to do what I can.

I keep thinking it would be better to end things. I know thats not right. I do know I have God on my side and I have been doing the councling here and jumping in chat when things are filling my mind but I dont want to bother anyone so I try and just pretend Im fine. I know in God's time things will work out the way he wants them too. But then Why cant I pull myself out of this??? I just want to be normal..

As you have said you know that's not right (I too have felt this way alot lately) It is VERY important to remember YES you do have God on your side but He wants what is good and pure for you, these thoughts are not of that.
you spoke of pretending to be fine, I never realized until it was pointed out to me but here is an example, you are walking down the street and come across a stranger and as you pass you say hi how are you or something simular and their reply is ALWAYS....fine or doin good and it is the same with a friend you pass in the store, what they didn't tell you was they just had a big blowout with their mate or they just got laid off or the car broke down and they don't have the money to fix it and you know the worst part we expect the answer they gave not the truth, BUT here is the beauty of the Oasis family we (I and many others I have grown to know here) want the truth and as for deleting your answers please know you don't have to be ashamed or affraid of being judged here, quite frankly if you are then that person shouldn't be here themselves.
We ALL have our problems and trust me some of our brothers and sisters here have brought me to tears with the stuff from their past it hurt so bad to know that they went through these things and I only know them from here but they are more like true friends than most people I know, and know this YOU are NOT a bother we are in this together
Please go look at some of the journals including mine I have not put EVERY thing out there but it helped greatly to get it out and to feel the support that I recieved from my brothers and sisters here.
I hope to hear more from you and know you are in my prayers.
God bless you and may He give you a peace that is only possible through Him.
Cuc

I dont know if I can do the journals on a regular basics, all my thoughts out in the open for everyone to see?????? oh boy thats a very big step. I have wrote some things on the forms before and ended up deleting them pretty quick cuz I got scared and would end up having a panic attack but will try to do what I can.

take it as a little step and instead of putting all your thoughts out if it feels too panic making .... try it with just one or two; test the waters a little and see what happens; and hopefully you'll start to like the water enough to try it a little more but for now don't worry about the more; just one foot, even one toe in sometimes it helps to write things down and if the chatroom is busy to where you don't feel comfortable sharing, but you know your thoughts aren't so good; journalling on here can be a good option.

Irregular ....
A little bit .......
one tiny tiny step at a time

Dear Chantel,
Thank you for posting how you truthfully feel and your thoughts. I have been so down I have not even been on this site. So I read what you posted and how others responded with love and it helped me. Isnt it amazing to realize how our willingness to ask for help can help others. Well you helped me to be honest that I am really emotionally hurting right now and I am afraid of being judged. I have many dynamics at home that I feel responsible for and I know that people will tell me to get therapy and my husband and I have been to lots of therapy and realize how we have affected our kids. Now we are working on healing ourselves through a Bible based Recovery Program. Sometimes I just need to vent the junk that is inside my head. Then I feel ashamed and scared when people tell me how I need to get help when I already know and I am doing the best I can. So I thank you for your post.
Sincerely,
Diane

this is for chantel and diane,
I only have 2 things for you today:
first my for you both,
second for you both
And know that you BOTH are loved here and by God
God bless you both
Cuc

To Diana. I understand how you feel but Im glad that by reading these post it helped you out a bit. Its my hardest thing to reach out to anyone when I feel this way I want to bury my head in the sand (sort of speak) but I know thats the worse thing I can do. I hope you know that too. If you ever want to talk we can jump in chat whenever you like and we can cry (sort of speak) on each others shoulders. I love you and will be praying for you.

Thank you Christnundrconstruxn.. Thank you so much for the prayers