~ Where can I go? ~
Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:40 pm Psalm 139:1-12
1 O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me.
2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
3 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.
5 Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
12 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,” even the darkness is not dark to you. Psalm 139:11-12 (NRSV)
For 15 years, I have watched as the darkness of memory loss has blotted out my sister’s personality. Once wise and witty, she has sunk into silence. Her gift for making music has disappeared into inactivity. Her formerly smiling eyes are clouded and blank. She lives in the dim shadows of a world I cannot understand.
Recently when I visited my sister, she offered no response to my presence. She met simply questions with silence. The music from her CD player was a hollow reminder of how much of her life had been stolen by dementia. Preparing to leave, I told her I loved her and reached out to embrace her. She pushed me away. My eyes filled with tears of sadness and frustration.
Then, with the eyes of my spirit, I saw something amazing. The comfortable chair in which she was sitting transformed into the loving lap of God. Its wooden arms became the protective and compassionate arms of Jesus, who loves her more than I do. As I battle with doubt and loss, she is safely and peacefully held in the love of the Lord.
Prayer: Dear Lord of light, shine into all our darkness of grief, loss, frustration, and helplessness. Light up our lives with faith and hope. We pray in the name of Jesus, the light of the world. Amen.
Prayer Focus of Day: Families dealing with dementia
Thought for the Day: Our deepest darkness is not dark to God
Story shared by: M. Rosenberger (TX)
Source: Upper Room Daily Devotional: 9/26/11
1 O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me.
2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
3 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.
5 Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
12 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,” even the darkness is not dark to you. Psalm 139:11-12 (NRSV)
For 15 years, I have watched as the darkness of memory loss has blotted out my sister’s personality. Once wise and witty, she has sunk into silence. Her gift for making music has disappeared into inactivity. Her formerly smiling eyes are clouded and blank. She lives in the dim shadows of a world I cannot understand.
Recently when I visited my sister, she offered no response to my presence. She met simply questions with silence. The music from her CD player was a hollow reminder of how much of her life had been stolen by dementia. Preparing to leave, I told her I loved her and reached out to embrace her. She pushed me away. My eyes filled with tears of sadness and frustration.
Then, with the eyes of my spirit, I saw something amazing. The comfortable chair in which she was sitting transformed into the loving lap of God. Its wooden arms became the protective and compassionate arms of Jesus, who loves her more than I do. As I battle with doubt and loss, she is safely and peacefully held in the love of the Lord.
Prayer: Dear Lord of light, shine into all our darkness of grief, loss, frustration, and helplessness. Light up our lives with faith and hope. We pray in the name of Jesus, the light of the world. Amen.
Prayer Focus of Day: Families dealing with dementia
Thought for the Day: Our deepest darkness is not dark to God
Story shared by: M. Rosenberger (TX)
Source: Upper Room Daily Devotional: 9/26/11
