Christianity Oasis Forum

[deepwaters]

I watched a movie yesterday called "encounter" or "the encounte"r from Netflicks under faith and spirituality. What a movie! There was so much addressed by Jesus in the movie and I felt like the script was written for me, especially the forgiveness part. This movie really ministered to me, and it seems wherever I go, forgiveness seems to be the topic. I feel like God has put me into the twilight zone...! I want to say, "yes, Jesus, I get it, enough already." However he is right, I need the constant reminders because my mind drifts (often) to past hurts and rejections. I am choosing to keep my mind on HIM, but Oh my goodness.... the Flesh! What a battlefield that is.

Here is an example of the pain I carry. We don't live near my husbands family, but when we would get together they were quick to jab me with comments, attitudes, or I would catch them making fun of my weight etc. For example, I brought my newborn son to my mother in laws house, only to hear her say, "I feel sorry for mixed babies". I am Hispanic and my husband is white. She had her daughter apologize for that one, she cleared it up by saying she didn't mean Hispanic people but black people instead. As my children got older, the prejudice got worse, my children were not allowed to play with their cousins toys etc. I no longer have anything to do with his family (about 10 yrs and counting), but the rejection is so painful. That is one example of the hurt that plays over in my mind. God recently gave me something to consider. I heard his words in my dream and I woke up thinking on a very interesting sentence. He said to me, in my dream... "hurt dogs bite." I am starting to realize the cycle of pain that is happening on planet earth. I have forgiven my mother in law , but I am realizing that forgiveness does not let the other person off the hook. If there is ever to be reconciliation she has to own what she has inflicted and try and make a mends. The great part is...my forgiveness does not have to wait on her ability to "get it". God is setting me free from my hurt with or without her. The one thing that has really held me back all of these years was the fact that these people claim to be born again. I tried to clear the air once and wrote down the ways they have hurt me, but I was rejected and blamed. It was all me and my imagination, apparently I take things too personally and that I never gave them a chance. Oh my goodness...the anger I feel on that one! Hence, the reason for all the reminders about forgiveness. I pray I graduate soon! Please keep me in your prayers. My heart is willing, I want to be healed! I want to really trust people again, I am so tired of being disappointed especially from people who claim they know Christ."

[realtmg]

Nice post!
The Bible tells us to trust Him first and not man.
But id do believe that He will send a few your way in His timing. Amen?

GBU

Real

[deepwaters]

Thank you for the encouragement. One of my biggest motivating factors are my children. I am modeling relationships for them and I want them to be healthy. I want to break the cycle of distrust, but it has to break in me first. Oh, it can be so hard! It is so easy to be a turtle...! Thanks you so much for your response. It is so great to get all of this out and to have people out there who care and who keep me in prayer.

[realtmg]

There are some who read and do not post but they care and will pray.
I too find myself doing this.
We care and love.

GBU

Real