It's a sin....
Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 10:57 amWhen I look back upon my life
Its always with a sense of shame
Ive always been the one to blame
For everything I long to do
No matter when or where or who
Has one thing in common, too
Its a, its a, its a, its a sin
Its a sin
Everything Ive ever done
Everything I ever do
Every place Ive ever been
Everywhere Im going to
Its a sin
At school they taught me how to be
So pure in thought and word and deed
They didnt quite succeed
For everything I long to do
No matter when or where or who
Has one thing in common, too
Its a, its a, its a, its a sin
Its a sin
Everything Ive ever done
Everything I ever do
Every place Ive ever been
Everywhere Im going to
Its a sin
Father, forgive me, I tried not to do it
Turned over a new leaf, then tore right through it
Whatever you taught me, I didnt believe it
Father, you fought me, cause I didnt care
And I still dont understand
So I look back upon my life
Forever with a sense of shame
Ive always been the one to blame
For everything I long to do
No matter when or where or who
Has one thing in common, too
Its a, its a, its a, its a sin
Its a sin
Everything Ive ever done
Everything I ever do
Every place Ive ever been
Everywhere Im going to - its a sin
This song echoed my exact feelings when I first met Him. I was so deep in the pit I didn't believe I could ever come out.
I was raised in church, but just believed it "didn't take" with me, I didn't get it, and like everyone else, God didn't want to fool with me.
My emotions ruled everything I ever did or said. They affected every relationship I had. I was steeped in sorrow, pain, and sickness. It had begun to feel as though I was dying from how I felt.
I desperately wanted to find a way out. Maybe that's what made the decision (to receive Jesus as Lord of my life) seem easy. Naturally, I cried. Crying had invaded everything too.
The not-so-easy decision I made next was just as life-altering for me. I chose to believe everything God said in His Word as a personal letter to me. As the absolute truth.
What I knew with my head was...this is illogical and doesn't make sense. But my heart ached for it, so I over-ruled my mind....and began to put the Word in my sick spirit....medicine to my very soul.
Did my emotions calm down? Not immediately.....I hadn't removed them from power and rule over me until one day, when the latest crisis had me wasted and crying......
I felt God speak to my heart. Didn't hear Him with my ears, but in my heart, it said...."Who is first in your life?"
You, Lord," I thought. Then in my heart these burning words..."Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.......I am Lord, not your emotions. Trust Me, and sin not."
It's a sin......I thought, to let my emotions carry me away from the security of God's love and faithfulness.
It's a sin, to let fear replace my faith, like saying God isn't worth the fight to hang in through a crisis, with Him.
It's a sin, to worship at the altar of whatdoidonow, or icant, or thingsneverworkforme.
It was total revelation to my spirit to see I could choose here too. It was the most major choice I made concerning my emotions.
When the floods came, and the storms raged, I ran into Him. I re-inforced His words inside me and refused to give in to fear, sorrow or pain. When all was calm, I abided in Him. I read and talked to Him as much as I could.
I didn't let the thoughts that created the emotions live in my head. I forced them out. I replaced them with the Word. I asked God to give me something to take the place of thinking about me so much....and He gave me a church that needed the gifts I had to share. He sent me out, even though I was not 'fixed'.
It doesn't matter if we think we are too broken to be of any use to God. He can overcome it to use us where He wills.
Do I still get emotional with fear? Oh, I am tempted by it all the time. Fortunately, God supplies the means to overcome it. The means by which I can choose not to go there.
Its always with a sense of shame
Ive always been the one to blame
For everything I long to do
No matter when or where or who
Has one thing in common, too
Its a, its a, its a, its a sin
Its a sin
Everything Ive ever done
Everything I ever do
Every place Ive ever been
Everywhere Im going to
Its a sin
At school they taught me how to be
So pure in thought and word and deed
They didnt quite succeed
For everything I long to do
No matter when or where or who
Has one thing in common, too
Its a, its a, its a, its a sin
Its a sin
Everything Ive ever done
Everything I ever do
Every place Ive ever been
Everywhere Im going to
Its a sin
Father, forgive me, I tried not to do it
Turned over a new leaf, then tore right through it
Whatever you taught me, I didnt believe it
Father, you fought me, cause I didnt care
And I still dont understand
So I look back upon my life
Forever with a sense of shame
Ive always been the one to blame
For everything I long to do
No matter when or where or who
Has one thing in common, too
Its a, its a, its a, its a sin
Its a sin
Everything Ive ever done
Everything I ever do
Every place Ive ever been
Everywhere Im going to - its a sin
This song echoed my exact feelings when I first met Him. I was so deep in the pit I didn't believe I could ever come out.
I was raised in church, but just believed it "didn't take" with me, I didn't get it, and like everyone else, God didn't want to fool with me.
My emotions ruled everything I ever did or said. They affected every relationship I had. I was steeped in sorrow, pain, and sickness. It had begun to feel as though I was dying from how I felt.
I desperately wanted to find a way out. Maybe that's what made the decision (to receive Jesus as Lord of my life) seem easy. Naturally, I cried. Crying had invaded everything too.
The not-so-easy decision I made next was just as life-altering for me. I chose to believe everything God said in His Word as a personal letter to me. As the absolute truth.
What I knew with my head was...this is illogical and doesn't make sense. But my heart ached for it, so I over-ruled my mind....and began to put the Word in my sick spirit....medicine to my very soul.
Did my emotions calm down? Not immediately.....I hadn't removed them from power and rule over me until one day, when the latest crisis had me wasted and crying......
I felt God speak to my heart. Didn't hear Him with my ears, but in my heart, it said...."Who is first in your life?"
You, Lord," I thought. Then in my heart these burning words..."Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.......I am Lord, not your emotions. Trust Me, and sin not."
It's a sin......I thought, to let my emotions carry me away from the security of God's love and faithfulness.
It's a sin, to let fear replace my faith, like saying God isn't worth the fight to hang in through a crisis, with Him.
It's a sin, to worship at the altar of whatdoidonow, or icant, or thingsneverworkforme.
It was total revelation to my spirit to see I could choose here too. It was the most major choice I made concerning my emotions.
When the floods came, and the storms raged, I ran into Him. I re-inforced His words inside me and refused to give in to fear, sorrow or pain. When all was calm, I abided in Him. I read and talked to Him as much as I could.
I didn't let the thoughts that created the emotions live in my head. I forced them out. I replaced them with the Word. I asked God to give me something to take the place of thinking about me so much....and He gave me a church that needed the gifts I had to share. He sent me out, even though I was not 'fixed'.
It doesn't matter if we think we are too broken to be of any use to God. He can overcome it to use us where He wills.
Do I still get emotional with fear? Oh, I am tempted by it all the time. Fortunately, God supplies the means to overcome it. The means by which I can choose not to go there.
