Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

I hope I have come to the right place? I have some questions that need answers These questions have been plaguing me for sometime.
I know I defiantly need prayer, I know it is late and i know whatever happens tomomrow is already done. But, I still know that I must prepare myself for what ever will be? That is why I am here tonight.
For a while now I have been studying on curses and blessings.
I know that when something occurs in your life more than once, it needs to be looked at. Something is going on spiritually. There are family curses and there are things we our selfs have allowed legal right to have a stronghold in our lifes. There are roots that must be dealt with.
As much as i have learned I do not feel I have found the way out yet.
I am missing something?
For a many years now I have been dealing with the same problems, I am not defeated by them, but either have I found victory over them.
There are unforseen things constantly happening in my life. That threatens my livelihood. I can never see the light at the end of the tunnel and if I think I am on the right track an unforseen thing comes and puts me back at the beginning.
It is the same curcummstances every time.
this is my problem:
Once again my car has broken down, it does not matter if it is a new car used car or junk car it brakes down. I bought this car with a bumper to bumper warranty on it. i have full coverage ins on it. I struggle to make the payments on these two things. but I do be cause I know with out a dependable car I can not work. I know if it breaks down I can't afford to have it fix. i thought I was being smart to starch myself finial to get a car and ins. that I really could not afford. That way I wouldn't have to worry about it breaking down and having to loose everything because i could not afford to fix the car. Well even this the devil has found a loop hole to hold me down.
My car would not crank two days ago. I called my ins. to have it tow, but I do not have towing on my full coverage ins. So to have it towed will cost me 172.00 I called the place where I got the car and told them what was going on and they told me well you know, the longer you have the car the bumper to bumper coverage decrease, so you will be paying something.
I do not have 172.00, now it is going to cost me God only knows how much to have it fix. which I can not afford.
I have been on a leave of absentence from my Job for 2 months my mother had a double aneurism(bleed out in the brain) and a stoke.
The day we were to leave the hospital they told us she had cancer. Now we are dealing with the cancer. God has been so very good to us, he has given my mama more time. I see the blessings all that my Father does for me and my family daily. But I do not understand how to break this strong hold.
Monday was my first day back at work. I did not get paid while i was on leave we have struggle to surive through this time. Praise God he has seen us through it.
But, I worked one day and had to call in, I am a dept manager and it is important for me to be at work. I made it to work to day because my son was off and could take me and pick me up.
I have no money to fix my car. There is no food in the house except what I have made sure that my mama needed. We are not going hunger. All my bills are due. And I can't go to work. i have no way there tomorrow which means I have to call in again. I have been off so long, and now I still can not get to work. I have no one to ask for a ride, no one to borrow money from. No where to turn. No tools to fix this. So i call in tomorrow but what about the next day? i still have no way to fix my car, I do not know how long my job will tolerate me not coming to work. I have a family that depends on me.
I can not show my stress to my mama or let her know anything is wrong, there is no one to talk this out with. And this is why i am writing.
I know God is in control. I know that he is aware of what is happening.
I know he will provide all my needs he always has. I can not find one time in my life that he didn't.
I know he has a plan. And it's all good for me! What ever it is?
It is the pressure to provide for my family. They look to me to do so.
Even in the mist of this dilemma There are so many wonderful blessings My Father as favored me with.
It's why I know he is going to show me something in this as well.
I just can't stop worrying. The what if's, what am I going to do's.
I have to call in in the morning. What if I don't have a job? I also know that when I hear "what if" that is satan digging in. He found away in to manipulate, and cause confusion. Knowing all this I can't get out from under the worrying.
If I knew it was God's will for me to lose my job, I know he would be leading me into a better place than I am now in. I know it!
For years now I have gain and lost, gain and lost. It is like being on a roller coaster. Up and down. I do not know how to get off this ride.
God, told me he would establish me. I have never wanted to be rich. I just want to take care of my family. Get them a place they could call their own. Stable. But this thing with the jobs and cars have always created instability, in my families life. I go to wal-mart to find cheat deals on food. And I see mother's with their children buying them clothes and shoes. Being good parents. I can't even buy my children what they need. I feel so guilty. And ashame. That I can not provide for them.

I know this is not God's will. so what is the problem? what am I missing?
I have worked 90 to 100 hours aweek to provide, I was never home.
There has always been those "unforeseen" things eating up everything.
It's like a bucket you keep pouring water into but it has a hole in it. the thing is it's the only bucket you got.

what am i missing?
If there is anyone out there that knows please help me understand.
And if you don't know, would you please pray for me and my family.
this is the only place in my life I can't understand God and what he is wanting from me. If I knew I would in a heart beat obey him and do it!
I just don't know what the missing piece is?

Thank you for listen,
Sandrad

Hi SandraD05
I wrote this awhile ago and thought maybe this would help you. Read my testimony, in Overcoming the World. It's called "About Sylvia"
In July I was diagnosed with breast cancer. In August my dear husband died of a sudden massive heart attack. Before that my oldest son O.D. on heroin and for a year and a half I daily took him to rehab. He now lives with me and has been off heroin for almost 2 years.
Here is what I wrote:

Why do Christian's Suffer?
Sometimes suffering is the only way we will learn something. In Billy Graham's book "Day by Day" he illustrates the example of trimming a rosebush. The gardner trims and prunes, knowing what will make the bush produce better flowers. It is for the good of the bush that it is pruned. God never makes a mistake when shaping us to what He wants us to be. Sometimes He needs to get rid of things in our lives and reshape our thinking.
2 Corinthians 12:19 "Most gladly therefore will I rather boast in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me."
In our suffering the power of Christ is demonstrated through us.
Isaiah 64:8 "But now, O Lord, thou art our Father, we are the clay, and Thou our potter; and all of us are the work of thy hand."
Our life is a work in progress. God shaping us to what He wants us to be.
1 Peter 5:6&7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you."
We must daily humble ourselves before God and let Him have His way with us. Confessing any sins in our lives and letting Him work in us.
1 Peter 5:10 "And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you."
We must have faith that God is in control when we completely yield ourselves to Him. It is for our own good that we suffer.
Job 23:10 "For He knows the way that I take, When He has tested me I shall come forth as gold."
For years I prayed to God but I told Him what I wanted Him to do. I made excuses for it and convinced myself I was right. I was trying to be the potter and not the clay. It wasn't until I completely laid my life in His hands, with all my weaknesses, shortcomings, failures and sufferings that I began to see God working in my life. Old baggage that I carried around with me for years disappeared. If I had not suffered for years and gone through the fire, I would never be able to become "gold" in His Hands.
1Peter 4:12&13 "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share in the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation."
We must remember that Christ suffered for us. He is with us in our sufferings. He will never leave us or forsake us. Some day in heaven we will rejoice as we see our Saviour face to face.

Please continue to keep in contact here. Many people have gone through what you are going through.
Also, if you don't have a Christian church I would advise you to start praying God would lead you to the one He wants you to attend.
Don't be afraid to humble yourself there and ask for prayer. Even at church we are apt to sit there thinking know one has been through what I have. But if you reach out you will find people coming and sharing with you what they went through and how God used it for his glory.
God Bless you
Sylvia

Sandra, I read your shared thoughts this morning and I just want to hug you My sister...as time goes by the enemy is looking to attack us more and more spiritually...because he wants us to loose our faith in God...whether it means our job..our house...our cars...our family...whatever he can take...he will try to do so...reminds me of Job....how the enemy took and took from Job to try and make Job quit....but instead of Job quitting...he sought God more and more. At this time sandra...I think God is wanting you to seek Him diligently....ask Him to open doors...and if it is His will that He will show you the directions to follow....He loves you sandra and He is not giving up...He will pull you through this...just hold on sis...hold on tight to your faith and be patient...God comes in His timing...which often is not our timing...but one thing He does say...He will never leave us nor forsake us. He has this sandra.

Praying for you.

luv ya