Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

Well ex is still on the couch, guess i should call him roommate by now. He hasnt had any word about a job and it brings him further and further down. I am trying to be supportive and encouraging. I try not to bring up finances. Am continuing to pray very hard. He is very discouraged about life, I explained to him last night that all of it was out of his control, that he had to just keep trying. No word yet on the job front, either that or they decided not to hire him and he isnt telling me. Sometimes i find myself getting upset with him lying on the couch all the time, hes slipping more into depression, washing dishes less, sleeping more. I pray and pray and pray. I told him i would drop him off at ER to get some help but he thought i should sit in ER for several hours while waiting on someone to look at him and decide and locate a hospital bed. Well, maybe it was bad on my part but I told him I was not gonna sit at ER for hours just waiting. I am tired. Fairly peaceful, in pain cuz my ankles are messed up. But Praise the Lord for He has saved me from myself.. am praying the same thing for my roommate. I woke up early cuz i heard him in the kitchen at like 530 this morning thinking he was making breakfast, turned out he was just eating supper, go figure. So i made myself breakfast, started a load of clothes, came here no one in chat and now i tired so i guess i go back to bed. Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing letting him come back but it scares me more to think of what he mightve done if i hadnt. Ok thanks for listening. Goldie

goldie,
Self-pity was a killer for me. We seem to dwell on poor me because we have always been self-centered. This is what I see coming from him. There are many positive things he can do to improve his life but he has to choose and make himself take that step.
I recommend him going to a 12 step group such as AA or NA. There, he will find people who has gone through the very same thing as he and will provide answers as well as fellowship. He will find that he is not alone.
It sounds to me he wanted the easy way out by going to the hospital for depression. There is no easy way out and these emotions are learning how to deal with life without using.
We have to be willing to work for this simple way of life. It is not handed to us. If he hurts this bad, he will be willing to go to meetings. Otherwise, he wants sympathy and will try to manipulate you.
I feel that you need to encourage him to get out and go to meetings as I see a ticking time bomb. I have always been able to find an excuse to drink or use and this is what I see developing.
In order to think well of ourselves, we have to learn to stay busy and and get our minds off of ourselves.
There is work out there. May not be exactly what we want but we have to be humble and accept this at this time.
It is good that you come here to share as I know it helps you to deal with this and relieve you somewhat of the baggage you are carrying.
Keep the faith and continue to learn of how addictions effect the family and friends of the addicted.

GBU sis


Real