Please dont judge me!!!

[MrPopples]

Ive come here for some help, Im not here to see what my wife has said but to try and save my wife and our marriage.
When I come before using my wifes account I was touched by many and hurt by many please those that think they know me please hold from saying anything until I figure things out. (Im hopeing with GOD)
I was born a mormon so dont have a relationship with God at all, but am willing to have an open mind.

I am not a good husband and infact Im a terrible husband. So please be paitcent with me.

I have been seeing another woman for the past year because I got board with my wife and I seem to have got angrey with her because of it.

I started using drugs just before all that and know the drugs seem to be causing alot of the behavour but still no excuse so today is day two with no drugs, Im certainly agitated but think its the only way I can solve the other problems. Not promising myself anything but I have to statr somwhere.

[Lani]

Welcome to the Oasis MrPopples

You have taken an awesome step in faith and I am truly looking forward to seeing the work God does in and through ya


If ya need help finding something or have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.

May His Will Be Done


Prayers are with you on this journey

Peace n Luv in Christ,
Lani

[MrPopples]

Im very on edge Im thinking two things maybe I could move to the spare room so temptation doesnt get the better of me...I got a little mad at gwen but I felt bad which I normally dont. Im wondering what I can do in this situation when I start feeling angrey???

The day is nearly over so that makes me happy, tomorrow Im having off work gonna go see the doctor to see if he can give me anything to take the edge off.

[Christnundrconstruxn]

ERIC!!!!
Brother I have been praying the Lord would send you back here.
You may not trust in the Lord but I do!!
You are where you NEED to be and as for what you have done it is MY opinion that you need to make that right by going to God in prayer and ask Him for forgiveness AND ask that He show you what you and give to you what NO doctor OR us can give....His love and mercy.
It sounds to me that you have been given a second opportunity in this life that you seem to have taken for grantit don't allow satan to screw this chance up too.
I believe you have a wonderful forgiving wife that wants NOTHING more than you and that baby which again MY OPINION is God stepping in and saying ERIC!!!! YOUR LOSING IT, GET IT TOGETHER!!!!

I will NOT lie to you I want to judge you for those things in your past BUT by the grace of God I will NOT, I am only disappointed of these actions that satan has caused, ONLY you can change things but you must be willing to stand tall and take whatever comes your way and not be swayed from the love of your wife and staying off the drugs, you can do this by trusting that we are here to help you and setting your pride off to the side and allow God to work in you.

I have something that I changed a little just for you, this is a quote I really like

Gwen was not created of Eric's feet to be walked upon by him
Nor by his hand to be abused by him
Not even by his head to be out thought by him
But by his rib to stand beside him as his equal
And to be loved as such!!

Brother I will be here for you and will stand beside you through this whole matter but you need to get help and get your self back on track with Gwen.

Priorities= God, Gwen, this baby.
Things to hand over to God and ask for His forgiveness of = The abuse, Drugs, selfish pride

I know some of this may have stung a little and I am truly sorry if it did BUT I think you know it comes from the heart and it has nothing but truth in it.

Now with that said I am here anytime you want to talk weather you put it out here or in a private message that is up to you.
May God continue to work in your life as well as Gwens
I hope to hear from you soon
Cuc

[MrPopples]

Thankyou for your words. You know it was once said its not what you say, Its how you say it..

Again thankyou

[MrPopples]

OK went to the doctors and he gave me some pills to calm me, and they are working but I moved to the spare room too but Im having flash backs in my sleep. I still havnt used but today Im feeling very tempted, its sunday and I know today all the new stuff comes.

I dont know how to pray so I just said out loud if God could help me get through today. I think Im gonna read some stories on here...For now

Well I slept for a few hours..that seems to be all I do atm.

[vahn]

I am coming to you as a brother in Christ and a fellow addict . To me , it matters not what belief , or the lack of , one has in matters of our Lord , the point is , NO ONE gets here by mistake , and that even if they do , the fact remains that when they stay , or come back , we deffinitely have SOME THING in common that I chose to call The Father of all Fathers .

That being said ( in the hopes of clearing the air of contrary to "common" belief) I would at this time concentrate my statements to the subject of addiction , which you may , or may not be aware of that in turn would shed SOME light on your "situation" .

Right off the bat ... Drug use , is VERY beneficial to ALL mankind , in fact , to some it is a necessity ... we are dealing with the ABUSE of it , as in taking them WITHOUT the NEED , and even then , the drug "abuse" is NOT THE problem . Drug use/abuse is but a SYMPTOM of a pre-existing problem that we allready posess , hence the "need" for our resorting to it .... I mean , the reason one to think of swallowing an Aspirin , they must FIRST , have a reason for it right ? , such as a headache , or what have you ... well ... the same thing applies with any other drug .

Now , when it comes to narcotics , (yes , we call it "drugs" to minimize the severity of the word) , we use them in the same fashion as using medication , ie. having the problem first , and getting rid of the problem via the use of narcotics ... which , my dear brother spells nothing else but escapism , to the point that , after a while we lose track of the ability to distinguish truth from false .... and the rest ? are ALL but consequences of the overuse , side affects , so to speak .

When I first "cleaned-up" it took me the longest time to be able to sleep on a regular interval , (one of the reasons of "edginess') , my sponsor said , "No one died from lack of sleep , so , get used to it , it WILL pass" .
Halucinations galore , (body going into shock ... affecting the mind)
Jumping out of my skin every time someone snapped their finger from across the street .
Pains that went to the core of my bone marrow ... I mean even my eyelashes would hurt to the slightest breeze that whisped by it ...

Here's the good news .... ALL of the above-mentioned WILL pass ... the better news , we don't HAVE to , once passed , go through that nightmare AGAIN ... Bad news ? WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THEM .

So , my brother , before we even start to think about how we are about to tackle all the consequences caused by our reckless use of the drugs , how about we first find out WHY is it that we are resorting to them .
We have FOUR great forums here that deal with such issues , one of them of which you're already in , S.O.S. , CCCC , Resovery Cafe , and Real Solutions . I do strongly suggest that we start with CCCC AND Real Solutions as well as touching on the consequences both here at SOS and the Cafe .

Best wishes , Keep coming back ...even if your rear falls off , pick it up and bring it here .


Luv ya
In Christ our Lord
vahn

[MrPopples]

VAHN
I have to ask for your forgivness as after the last message from you I got very angrey and took it out on Gwen. I was so upset with your words but thankyou for these words I know the truth hurts and I guess I was hurt.

First of all I have moved into the spare room to protect Gwen from me.
I havnt used in 4 days and I know thats not long but its a start.

Ive read your reply over and over and your right there has to be somthing that started me....I havnt figured that out yet.

Im really aching today and have taken a week off I honestly dont know what to expect. Gotta go lay for awhile.

[aj]

praying for you, Eric.

[Lani]

Hey bro,
Just wondered how you are doin today? Hope to see ya post again soon.

Prayers remain always.


Peace n Luv in Christ,
Lani

[vahn]

Brother , there is no need for my forgiveness , you never done me no harm brother , in fact , if anything , I need to thank you for giving me the opportunity to be of service to my Lord's Children .

Hang in there brother , the worst is almost over .


In Christ , our Lord

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Hey Eric I hope all is well with you and Gwen, I have not heard from either of you for a few days and just wanted you both to know you are in my prayers
May God pour His blessing upon you both and wrap you in His loving arms
Cuc