Can just use some prayer (Kind of just writing as well)
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 10:27 pm
Life beyond walls. this is something that i would love to be able to do. I have lived behind walls almost my whole life that i don't know if i would be able to live with out them. so for me to post anythinig asking for anything or to open up is hard for me so if i talk of topic or jump around some i will say i'm sorry now.
i'm asking for prayer because last month i spent 11 days in the hospital to find out that i am having seizures and they are not 100% why. they know that i have a really high resting heart rate over 100 beats per min. I will return to work tomorrow i hope. The seizures have slowed down but have not stop all the way. and one of the side effects of the meds that they have me on are headachs. i am also having issues with my blood counts being low. with all of this i have really no clue what it all means. they are sending me to two different dr and they are both saying it can be different things.
I know that it is time for me to start to take down my walls but i also know that it is going to take time. they are thick and tall and it took time for them to go up and i'm going to have to work through why each part of that wall went up. i know that a lot of it is not going to be easy and the reason why the wall went up was not because of good times but because of bad and i'm going to have to deal with that. i just am not sure if i am ready or even strong enough to do this.
I am really scared at this point not only because of dealing with my past but also the health problems.
thank you for letting me write
i'm asking for prayer because last month i spent 11 days in the hospital to find out that i am having seizures and they are not 100% why. they know that i have a really high resting heart rate over 100 beats per min. I will return to work tomorrow i hope. The seizures have slowed down but have not stop all the way. and one of the side effects of the meds that they have me on are headachs. i am also having issues with my blood counts being low. with all of this i have really no clue what it all means. they are sending me to two different dr and they are both saying it can be different things.
I know that it is time for me to start to take down my walls but i also know that it is going to take time. they are thick and tall and it took time for them to go up and i'm going to have to work through why each part of that wall went up. i know that a lot of it is not going to be easy and the reason why the wall went up was not because of good times but because of bad and i'm going to have to deal with that. i just am not sure if i am ready or even strong enough to do this.
I am really scared at this point not only because of dealing with my past but also the health problems.
thank you for letting me write