Feeling low
Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:46 am
I didn't even know where to put this, maybe it shoulda gone under some other forum. I am really rethinking my life right now and really wondering what the whole point is, or if there really even is one. After the past couple weeks, I have come to realize how much I am really not wanted or cared about by anyone! From the email from my mom saying she no longer wants anything to do with me or the kids, to no one showing up for my two year old's birthday party, because the entire family is mad at me, to my oldest son wanting to be at his dad's all the time to my youngest waking up in the night and shoving me away and running to his dad, and refusing to be around me when he wants to cuddle to go to sleep, from his refusing a drink from me but accepting that same drink from someone he hardly knows and calling everyone else mom, to being cussed at by Don constantly to not even feeling cared about here, I have had all I can take. A couple times in the last week I came into chat here and not a one freakin person even bothered to say hi, so I just left. What's the point if no one cares or even acknowledges me? Wonder what terrible crime I committed here?! My terrible crime I committed against my family was that I was dealing with so much depression that I just didn't feel like talking to anyone for a bit. That warrants no one wanting anything to do with me. It was a fine time to find this out 25 minutes after Dan's bday party was supposed to start and no one was here. The only one that cared was my sister. I am sick of it all and doubt that anyone here will even care enough to take the time to read this. I don't think I will even come back here anymore! Sometimes I feel like I am just invisible. Other times are o.k., but times like the other night, well it just makes me feel like crapola! Will have to find some other way to deal with the pain inside I guess. Go back to my drinking I suppose. Was nice knowing all of you. Bye