Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

I am in a new relationship with a wonderful guy. I had given up on ever having a relationship that lasted for more than one night or that didn't revolve around sex. Then I met this guy. I really care about him and enjoy spending time with him and just talking to him. We have only been dating a little over a week but have known each other since November. I so desired that this relationship be kept pure. No sex until when and if I ever got married. I had my life on track. I have been struggling each time we went out because my body was screaming for sex and my heart and soul were fighting the urge to give in. He was struggling too. We had discussed it and he was willing to wait if that is what I wanted. But last night we gave in and today feel so dirty, shameful, and guilty. I can't even look in the mirror. Why does this happen? Why is it so hard for me to resist? In my heart I want to please God and I want my relationship to be pure in His sight. But, I just can't seem to do it. Does that make me some kind of deviant? I just want to be able to have a healthy and pure relationship with a man. Why do I keep ruining it?

I'm so proud of you!

You could of done like so many others and just hid this. But you brought it out and confessed in public. Wow. I'm amazed.

If you want to wait till marriage before sex don't put yourself in the place where it can and probably will happen. Being alone in his room, or your apartment. Sitting in a car alone in a dark secluded place. These are set ups for failure.

Keep the relationship public by being in public. At a park there's others around, sitting at the bowling alley, watching a game on tv at a sports bar. Coffee shops are excellent!! You can spend hours together and spend under $5.00!!! The library or book stores. Walking through walmart. Ok that is lame. But when in a pinch it works. Go out as a 4some. Play cards at a friends house with 4 or more people present. Or board games. Bible studies.

If you are never alone, it never will happen. Take it from the bazillion of married folks who learned this after they have kids.

If you are serious about making a change you have to seriously have a plan of action.

Love ya sis. Keep sharing.

Pine, You are not dirty you are human- that's why God sent Jesus…b/c we are flesh and our flesh is WEAK! You are righteous in God's sight b/c you believe and have been set free. Keep the faith, and know that in Jesus eyes you are lovely as ever!

I pray that God will strengthen you in your inner most being to grasp how high, deep wide and long God's love is for you and I pray that you will move forward - forgetting what's behind and know that you are not alone.

May God bless you pine!

I meant to post to you not Pine in my earlier reply. A great BOOK that causes REAL FREEDOM is by Neil T Anderson " Winning the Battle Within" !!!

Living4him I struggle with the same thing! Glad to hear that I am not alone! Sometimes I feel like such a failure! I want so badly to be in a pure relationship! I always give in because I have the false idea that that is the only way the man is going to love me and stay with me is if I give in and have sex with him. Iknow God has someone out there for me that wants the same thing I just have to wait on His timing....even though at times it seems like NEVER!
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you and be with you!
Love in Christ!