Christianity Oasis Forum

[living4Him]

I suffered from sexual and verbal abuse growing and that has and still is taking a toll on my ability to form and maintain relationships. Today is Valentines Day......and I was actually asked to go out for dinner by a guy that I really like but because of my extremely low self esteem and negative self image from years of abuse my mouth wouldn't even form the word yes. As much as I wanted to I couldn't. I was suddenly terrified and actually hung up on him. I suddenly felt like a little girl again with that feeling of terror wondering what would happen next......and I just wanted away.....to hide. The "bad stuff" happened 40 years ago! Why does it still haunt me? Will I ever be comfortable going out on a simple date again? I want to be able to have a "normal" healthy relationship with a man but I am not even sure that I know what that is? Does anyone out there know what I am talking about? Can any help me out? Please respond......

[Tam]

Yes living I totally understand.
Maybe if you reallly like this guy you can take it step by step with him. Talk to him and let him know you have a hard time but that you are interested in him. Baby steps sis.
You gotta let go of all this and let God begin to heal your wounds one by one sis.
Love ya

[Dora]

I do know what you are talking about.

Push through your feelings to see he is now feeling hurt and rejected. You know you gotta call him back so to help him heal. If you help him understand why you hung up it will help him heal. You don't have to give details. Perhaps just say I really like you and want to get to know you but I've been through a lot of bad stuff and need to take this very slowly.

I know it's hard. But it's what we must do.

Perhaps texting would be easier. If you both text.

Sometimes I send my own husband an email. When something needs said but I just can't force myself to say it.

love you

[deetu]

It will come...keep seeking God's answers and not listen to the lies. The lies have been there too long now...time for them to go.

I think Pine had a good suggestion, to text him and let him know.
little by little

[living4Him]

Thank you Tam, Pine, and deetu. Sometimes when you feel all alone in the struggle it takes over. I am so grateful to have friends that I can turn to here. I have called him back and yes he was hurt.....but after a short explaination he said that he understood and was willing to take it as slow as I needed to. Thank you for your comments and encouragement!

[foreverHis]

My dear, you have just taken the first steps of healing, by talking
by being honest to this man, and not hiding...well done to you

...this is the beginning of a new life for you.

Will it be easy? no...but as is already said, baby steps...
.you have been robbed for too long, now the Lord wants to restore your life back to you..
these girls here have been through rough times too, so you can trust them and take their council knowing that they love and care for, you can lean on us ....we can pray and support you as long as you need it ...
the lord is our healer, and He is gentle with it..

[ciny]

Hi Living4him nice to here fromyou tyfs for shreing a big step you took to share thers healing in shreing with others

i understand how hard it is to date from being sexualy abused my self and

abused by men it takes a lot of courage to step out and talk about it

journaling helps alot it is very freeing i find it helpful to put scripture with
my journal with the help of the bible concordaned love ya, praying for you

i have a hard time at valentines day my self my exhusbands bithday is that dayGod is helping me with that he will you in time to
I pray that ypu begin to heal and become an even stronger witness to the
Lord and others who are hurting in Jesus name amen

oh by the way its ciny i changed my name to strong tower