Springs, streams, and rushing rivers: whisp blog
Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 12:26 pm
Streams and Rivers:
As of late it's been more of the streams. Kinda like streams in the desert. The time when I needed refreshment to clear my thoughts, the stream of water came and washed the fuzziness of my mind. I realized that I needed to join alanon or something similar. Picking up the phone, I dialed the number, spoke with the receptionist, and she confirmed that my church did in fact have an alanon group.
I went last night. My first meeting. The tears came on and off, but, I stuffed them back down and was good to go for a while. Considering it was my first meeting, I learned alot: rushing rivers.
Rushing rivers:
The realizations came quickly though not harshly. I like so many other people don't want the sin as much as I want the pain to abate or leave permanently. Hmmm, the lonliness-when people reject all you have to offer which is your true self, then yes: the pain rushes in catching the breath, stealing the peacefulness. I suppose that really is the issue for me-traveling through this intensity of pain again--only this time with children. Thank goodness, my husband is alive for now to help the children make the journey. It isn't their fault if I fall apart. They are babies. I love them.
Springs:
As always, God gives reprieve. I came home after the meeting and the only one to greet me at the door was the dog . I needed that to be the case. I couldn't have handled everyone else. Our dog escorted me upstairs and to bed. I slept well.
Rivers again:
:D Today, will be rushing rivers yet again. Baseball . . . . baseball :D
As of late it's been more of the streams. Kinda like streams in the desert. The time when I needed refreshment to clear my thoughts, the stream of water came and washed the fuzziness of my mind. I realized that I needed to join alanon or something similar. Picking up the phone, I dialed the number, spoke with the receptionist, and she confirmed that my church did in fact have an alanon group.
I went last night. My first meeting. The tears came on and off, but, I stuffed them back down and was good to go for a while. Considering it was my first meeting, I learned alot: rushing rivers.
Rushing rivers:
The realizations came quickly though not harshly. I like so many other people don't want the sin as much as I want the pain to abate or leave permanently. Hmmm, the lonliness-when people reject all you have to offer which is your true self, then yes: the pain rushes in catching the breath, stealing the peacefulness. I suppose that really is the issue for me-traveling through this intensity of pain again--only this time with children. Thank goodness, my husband is alive for now to help the children make the journey. It isn't their fault if I fall apart. They are babies. I love them.
Springs:
As always, God gives reprieve. I came home after the meeting and the only one to greet me at the door was the dog . I needed that to be the case. I couldn't have handled everyone else. Our dog escorted me upstairs and to bed. I slept well.
Rivers again:
:D Today, will be rushing rivers yet again. Baseball . . . . baseball :D