Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

Emotional abuse is as bad as physical abuse and should not be tolerated. Love is needed in a relationship; and emotional abuse doesn't convey any love.
Sticks and stones won't break my bones

You need your partner to acknowledge your feelings. Have you ever felt desperate to make your partner hear what you are saying and apologise for the hurtful things they've said? Have you ever felt that only they can heal the pain they've caused?


When a partner constantly denies or refuses to listen to your feelings, that is, unquestionably, mental abuse.

Your partner blows hot and cold. He can be very loving but is often highly critical of you. He may tell you how much he loves you, yet he is short on care or consideration towards you. In fact, some of the time, maybe even a lot of the time, he treats you as if you were someone he truly dislikes.






If you find yourself puzzling about how your partner can treat you that way, it is because you are trying to live in a love-based relationship, when in reality you are living in a control-based relationship. The mental abuser struggles with his own feelings of worthlessness and uses his relationship to create a feeling of personal power, at his partner's expense.

You feel as if you are constantly walking on eggshells. There is a real degree of fear in the relationship. You have come to dread his outbursts, the hurtful things that he will find to say to you. (Maybe the same anxiety and need to please spill over into your other relationships also.)

Fear is not part of a loving relationship, but it is a vital part of a mentally abusive relationship. It enables the abuser to maintain control over you.



You do everything you can to make him happy, but it's never good enough. You're more like the pet dog in the relationship than you are the equal partner. Your constant efforts to get his attention and please him meet with limited success. Sometimes he'll be charmed, often he's dismissive.

Amen Foreverhis
The old saying stick and stones may break my bones but words wil never hurt me is so far from the truth.
The words are what we internalize .... They took root in our soul and they begin to harvest and grow and before you know it , you have a huge plant of unforgiveness growing.
Abuse hurts no matter what kind. Let's all ask the Father to help us forgive those that need forgiving and to help us heal and move forward with him.
Thank you for sharing this forever.
Love ya sis

i agree Tam....I'm a trophy of God's grace, as many of us are...there is life after abuse/beyond the walls...

If you find yourself puzzling about how your partner can treat you that way, it is because you are trying to live in a love-based relationship, when in reality you are living in a control-based relationship. The mental abuser struggles with his own feelings of worthlessness and uses his relationship to create a feeling of personal power, at his partner's expense.

You feel as if you are constantly walking on eggshells. There is a real degree of fear in the relationship. You have come to dread his outbursts, the hurtful things that he will find to say to you. (Maybe the same anxiety and need to please spill over into your other relationships also.)

Fear is not part of a loving relationship, but it is a vital part of a mentally abusive relationship. It enables the abuser to maintain control over you.



You can heal. Mentally abusive relationships cause enormous emotional damage to the loving partner who tries, against all odds, to hold the relationship together and, ultimately, can't do it, because her partner is working against her.

Whether you are currently in a mentally abusive relationship, have left one recently, or years later are still struggling with the anxieties and low self-worth and lack of confidence caused by mental abuse, it is never too late to heal.

amen foreverhis

Mental abuse recovery is a gradual process.
Low self-worth and limiting beliefs about what kind of future the abuse sufferer can ever hope for are the blocks that can stop women from moving on.
But they are blocks that you can clear very effectively. Just as language was once used to harm you, you can now learn how language can heal you.
You can overcome past mental abuse and keep yourself safe from it in the future. You can also learn to feel strong, believe in yourself and create the life and the relationships you truly want.

let the love of God and the Holy Spirit come to your rescue....He is waiting on you...to open all your hurt to Him, to be healed and set free....