Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

is there such a thing?..can there be any life after being abused in so many ways..when you have stayed faithful, working at a marriage, because you love you husband, and want to do what is right in the lord's eyes, but it never gets any better? wanting to serve the lord as a team, together, but just go round in circles like a plane with a broken wing, trying to protect your children from seeing the violence, listening to the cursing, from seeing the hitting, from crying tears of pain, not only because of the pysical, but because of the pain inside, like being in your own prison, with no escape, and if there is a way, too scared to,smiling on the outside, crying on the inside, doing everything in your power to keep him happy...like treading on glass in case it breaks, believing him when he says " I love you"...and thinking all is going to be ok now....being Mr. Nice guy in public, but at home behind closed doors, torment,

and the only way out in the end is to leave..the very thing that we don't want to do , but have to because of safety reasons...so then there is the grieving process,of losing a husband, a marriage..and being alone....
the stigma to that...oh see she has walked out on her husband..from those who don't know anything about the situation...so you say, this will be my life..so i'll move closer to God, and give everything of me to Him

so you ask? is there life after abuse?..never would i have thought so..yes life in Him, .....healing is a process..and it takes time...because we have many wounds, pysically, emotionally,and more..thru all kinds of abuse...and it does take time, so be patient
i'm here to tell you that yes..there is LIFE after abuse...in Him there is abundance of life..so is it going to be all doom and gloom? NO
He has a plan for you, and its not bad, the Father gives good gifts...the latter years can be better than the former, so go on in Him, trusting Him to bring you into green pasture,where you will have joy, peace and all th e good things he has for you again...never give up, but only give in to His promises..he has a life planned for you, Love you all lots...and i'm here for you any time..

Ihear you hurting....if you would like to share more my dear...i'm happy to talk..if you don't want to share more here..then please pm me...I would love to get to know you, and be your friend...
God bless you
Jesus loves you, and so do we

Hello Jesusisone,

Just as you said in your last sentence -- in spite of the mess I know Jesus is the answer.

The horrors of sin are alive and well in this earth realm. It is truly a spiritual war, and it ravages whomever. I am sorry for what your friend has been through. Jesus is so full of sorrow over what has been done to her.

His love still heals. You, dear brother, are His instrument He is using to pour out His love onto your friend. Let His love flow through you, don't be concerned with just the right words right now, just love her. He'll deliver the words, in time.

God is Love, let Him flow through.

God bless you,
Sister Mack

Hi JesusisOne,

I completely agree with Mack. I went through stuff in the past and people tried to say the right things to help me "get over" my past... it didn't change anything. Words didn't work with me.

Looking back now, what helped me slowly have life AFTER abuse was having those few people in my life that were just there. Those people that showed me that they weren't out to hurt me. Those people that hugged me when I needed a hug, but understood when I couldn't. Those people that were DIFFERENT from the people in my past. They SHOWED me (without words). When Christians are the ones that cause the scars, it can tend to distort the victim's view of God.

God can work miracles through you for this hurting soul. Stay patient, and let God use you to show her that she CAN heal and be loved by someone that is not out to hurt her (as well as loved by GOD.) You can be that angel in her life that she is needs to heal.

God Bless you for caring so much.

Hi, JesusisOne. Welcome to Oasis and thank you for your post.

It truly is possible for someone to overcome abuse. The key is to WANT to get past it. If she allows it to rule and guide her life, she will continue to live in the horror of what she endured.

More than her body was violated. Her trust, hope, self-esteem, and innocence were violated. But she can regain these things.

Getting over abuse is difficult. Something she will have to work on. It took time to get where she is now and it will take time to recover. Think of it as a book. She has to peel back the pages of the book until she gets to the end.

Something I wanna tell you. I didn't handle my past abuse. I just went on with life as if nothing happened. Relationship upon relationship failed. I was never happy. Nothing ever went right. But one day, I found a new friend. Someone who loved me very much. Someone who helped me to deal with the past abuse and overcome. Someone who taught me how to turn what happened into something positive. Someone who is still helping my heart to heal and makes me happy every day. His name is Jesus.

The secret to her salvation is in HIM.

God bless both of you. I will keep you in my prayers. Keep us posted, ok?

flute

Hi, Hurting. Sorry it took so long to post. You see, I too could not get through the post. Have been dealing with issues at home.

It is a trick of our enemy's. He clouds our thoughts so that we become confused and unable to concentrate. His goal is to separate us from God. We gotta be on our toes and not let that happen.

We are here for ya. Just let us know, whenever you are ready.

God bless and protect you.

flute