Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

What is happening in your life? Copy and paste is easy. Be Real and share.

Luv Ya


Real

I wished more would share what is going on with them personally with what they deal with daily with the addictive behavior.


Real

As I look back at the many post that has been made in this forum, I wonder what is going on with the one's that posted. This program is one of maintenance and work which requires discipline and sharing what is going on in your life personally. Everyone has problems and there is no reason to be ashamed. Even though I am a crew member , I still have problems but I try to be real with all I meet. I;m just like all of you. I just wanted bti share this and be Real.


Luv Ya


Real

As some may know, I came to Oasis during a difficult period where I lost health, job, animals, friends, which led to spiritual decline where I felt abandoned by God... there was only one person who stayed around for me and he introduced me to crack to ease my physical and emotional pain.At my lowest, I found Oasis and God used it to get me back on the right track. But I still felt a desire to help the person who had no other godly person in his life. I know I enabled him but I felt helpless not to, I thought I could keep him alive until God did a miracle.I thought that miracle came when he took a job overseas and got away from the drug dealers he was running for and who had him trapped in addiction. He was clean for 3 or 4 months.He left the job and needed a place to stay and somehow manipulated me into letting him come here. I didnt want him going back where he was because he would be right back in that life. He stayed clean and worked at getting a great job.But he has ended up using crack and meth 6 times over the last 4 months. At first he was ashamed and told me immediately so I could help him. But this last time he purposely seeked out an old friend he knew does meth and he went back twice that weekend. He tried to hide it this time and even lied about it. He got angry when I told him I couldnt trust him now.This last week I could swear he has done more, but when I asked he said no. But he is drinking and smoking weed all the time too. I feel he is getting back in his habit of binging and lying and I am just being used as a place to live and keep him fed and do his laundry so he can go out doing what he wants when he says he is working.I am afraid God wont help me because I am not in His will living with someone who is not a Christian and is so manipulative and mean and foulmouthed and listens to music that disdains God and my Jesus. I dont know what to do.He may really not be doing it still even though there are signs. I know how it feels to have messed up and have people not trust you and look at you like you're a freak even though you are clean and haven't done anything. It hurts and makes you want to give in. So I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that he can change and have my support and trust if he is really trying not to do it.But how do I know if my support is just enabling him if he is still doing it and thinks he has me fooled. He has no where to go, if I kick him out he will go back to that lifestyle. But if he stays and keeps doing it more and more then I feel I am in a prison and losing my own mind and my life while trying to save his. Which he doesnt seem to want to save.
Please can someone give me some thoughts on this, I need Christian support and advice and accountability.

gail,
There is such a thing called enabling. In addition there is a love called tough love. Put them together and you will see a change. There is hope cause we have a mighty God.


Luv Ya,


Real

What have I been up to really ?

Lots of times I will pass this forum up, on purpose, cuz to come here I have to "think" and "feel" and lately I don't want to,, honestly. Lately I have had that desire for that "drink". NO i have not had it, but the want is there for reasons. Yes i know the reasons. But at the same time, I am reminded of a time in my life when a "drink" would help me forget the pain and the hurt. So it comes back to me, and then for a slight moment, I want that drink. I fight it. Cuz I do NOT want to go back there.

So i struggle from time to time just like everyone else.

Here is a poem that I wrote about A Drink..

A Drink

Is it there in your glass ?
Can you taste the punch it gives,
One more time, alas.
No one understands the way one lives.

It is a demanding thing,
Deep within ones mind,
Oh don't worry there is not a ring,
Just something that will lead you blind.

The need

hi tres: it's nice to see you posting here in real solutions,

yea sometimes we do think about picking up that drink but for me when I think of picking up again I also have very vivid memories of how it was and I know I never want to get back to that again ever.

and how we deal with it is by talking openly to others about it.

one thing I have learned that really helps me is the (HOW) honesty openmindedness and willingness.

anytime you need someone to talk to feel free to email me or pm my mcs

one thing i ask god for on a daily basis is to take away the obbsession to drink.

keep coming back

love ya

gailamnu: I saw that you said god may not help you because your engaged with someone who is not a christian and who is foul mouthed etc. I just want to say that from what I believe is that god wants to help you however he can't help this person. You've tried to reach him and seen how hard it is and I'm certain this person rejects all good things the same way, which would include Jesus. If your having hard times yourself it isn't because the lord won't help you but that you've put yourself into a position with this person where his problems have become yours and seeing that he can't find a solution leaves you helpless. If they were your problems you could make the conscious choice to go to the lord and allow him to work, however this person is stubborn and making life decisions that won't allow him to be healed.

Having an honest desire to help is admirable.

Some times people just aren't ready to be saved.

Amen Psittic.

GBU

Real

psittac,

thank you so much for your reply. i felt God speaking to me through your words, it made so much sense, i have allowed my life to be swallowed up by his, wanting to help him, then almost hating him for being here... i havent been able to see clearly through the fog of fear and hurt and guilt... but once again, i want my Lord and i pray for His mercy, and trying to make time to come back to oasis whenever i can has helped me get some encouragement and hope back... i don't want to see this person that i care for, get back in that lifestyle that really isn't life at all, it's death... and i don't want him to bring it in my house or expose me to it, putting me and the animals and my home and belongings in harms way... i believe he does want to stop but does not know how to live sober... and really as long as he rejects the Lord, he will never have what he needs to stop... i wish i could show him God, but he doesnt want it right now... its hard enough when you have God, but i don't know if he will ever want Jesus... he says he believes in God, but everything he listens to and watches and says is anti-christian... i dont want to be judgmental and push it in his face, but i guess i have made one small compromise after another that has hurt my own walk... anyway bless you for sharing

one is too many, a thousand isn't enough.

enuf said