Christianity Oasis Forum

[flutemusic67]

Hey, everyone. I am tackling the big taboo. Sexual abuse. You know, the one no one wants to talk about. There will be another thread. Possibly three threads. We shall see.

Sexual abuse is any form on non-consensual physical contact. It includes rape, molestation (sexual touching and fondling), "peeping" into bathrooms or bedrooms to spy, forced posing, undressing, or performance, exposing children to adult sexual activity including pornography and photographs, or any sexual conduct with a person who lacks the mental capacity to exercise consent.

The perpetrators of sexual abuse include family members, close family friends, workers in facilities, and others.

The people at risk are women, persons with physical or cognitive disabilities, persons who lack social support and are isolated, the elderly, and children.

Physical signs or clues are bruises or injuries. The indications include genital or anal pain, irritation, or bleeding, bruises on external genitalia or inner thighs, difficulty walking or sitting, torn, stained or bloody underclothing, and sexually transmitted diseases.

Behavioral signs or clues are the way the abused and abuser act or interact with one another. The indications include inappropriate sex-role relationship between victim and suspect, and inappropriate, unusual, or aggressive sexual behavior.

No single indicator can be taken as hard proof. One should look for patterns of indicators that suggest a problem.

Most sexual abuse happens with children and the elderly. Children are generally tricked, threatened, or pressured into sexual activity. The abuse often begins gradually and increases over time. It occurs when an older or more knowledgeable child or adult uses a child for sexual pleasure. The use of force is rarely used with a child as they are trusting and dependent. They want to please others and gain love and approval. Children are taught not to question authority and they believe that adults are always right. This is an abuse of power over a child and a violation of their right to a normal, healthy, and trusting relationship with adults.

Signs of sexual abuse in a child are depression, eating disorders, sleep problems, nightmares, physical injuries, school problems, withdrawal from family, friends, or unusual activities, excessive bathing or poor hygiene, anxiety, running away, passive or overly pleasing behavior, low self-esteem, self-destructive behavior, hostility or aggression, drug or alcohol problems, sexual activity or pregnancy at an early age; promiscuity, or suicide attempts.

Again, No single indicator can be taken as hard proof. One should look for patterns of indicators that suggest a problem.

More to come later. God bless and protect everyone.

[susidivah]

Flute, thank you for sharing that which He put on your mind and heart...

It is LOT to take in, I know friends... if you find yourself reading this thread and it speaks to you in any way, either in relation to your experiences or to someones in your life, please know two things. One, you are not alone, and two this is a safe place with people who will listen if you wish to talk...

Above all tho (OK 3 things ) know that our trustworthy and loving Lord is always there with us... all we have to do is seek His face and shelter...

GBU and love you all dearly
Susi

[Show Forth the Praises]

Thank you for beginning this difficult topic post, flute.

The article mentioned that, amongst others, elderly people are victimized by abusers.

If I live to be elderly, I hope that crime is never again committed against me. I would rather my life end earlier than have that be done ever again.

I'm 52. My Mom passed away when she was 58. I hope I do too so I can't be victimized that way ever again.

My "guardian" angel must have been on a prolonged vacation when I was tormented repeatedly by my stepfather.



PAMELA

[flutemusic67]

Pam, you are welcome. I will post more soon.

Yes, the elderly are victims also. It is very sad.

Tomorrow, I am going to try to tackle "Why does God let this happen?" in Life After Abuse. I hope you will be there. It is terribly difficult to understand. Hopefully, we can find a starting place for wisdom in this matter.

God bless you, sis. Love you LOTS.

[goofy371]

I was abused as a child. I don't think about that a lot and I have forgiven those people, but I can not make normal relationships with guys. It is just something in me...I am scared when I have physical contact with men and I don't mean anything erotic. Just friends hug or even sitting too close to me. I understand with my mind, but I can not control emotions inside.

[flutemusic67]

Hi, sis. I can't even imagine how you feel. Mine was from when I was married. That was bad enough.

There is not going to be a magical solution for you, I am afraid. I do know that it takes time and trust. It also takes some bravery to allow men to hug or touch you. It's been almost 20 years for me and I still cringe when a man touches my shoulder or something. I usually have to take a deep breath and a moment to think "I trust this person, they are not going to hurt me". It has worked so far.

Take your time to get to know people, build that trust, and eventually you will get there. Be patient. I have hope that God will heal our minds and souls so that we can have healthy relationships with men. I trust God and know He loves us and wants what is best for us. He won't let us down.

God bless and protect you.