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How can you be sure it won't happen again?
by flutemusic67 » Thu May 01, 2008 6:12 pm
The sad truth is that you can't guarantee avoiding something that wasn't your fault in the first place.
However, do remember that most women who experience domestic violence don't continually have violent relationships. Here are some warning signs to watch for:
If he's been in a violent relationship before. Abusive men rarely change.
Don't make the mistake of thinking 'it will be different with me - she didn't treat him right'. It's also worth remembering that although there are some men who are abused, almost without exception, every abuser claims that he was really the victim.
He puts your friends down and/or makes it difficult for you to see them.
He loses his temper over trivial things.
He has very rigid ideas about the roles of men and women and can't/ won't discuss it reasonably.
His mood swings are so erratic that you find yourself constantly trying to assess his mood and only think in terms of his needs. A healthy relationship has give and take.
It's difficult for you to get emotional or physical space away from him - even if you directly ask for it. And if you do get it, he 'grills' you about where you've been and who you were with.
He criticises you all the time - about your weight, your hair, your clothes, etc.
He makes all the decisions in your relationship and ignores your needs or dismisses them as unimportant.
One thing to be cautious of is rushing into a new committed relationship before having healed from the abuse. You may be especially vulnerable to predatory men at this time and it's also a good idea to spend some time focusing on your own needs.
You can start all over. Lots of women managed to re-build their lives after an abusive relationship. Have faith in the Lord. He will walk you down His right path.
Mark 9:23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
Proverbs 16:3 Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
God bless and protect everyone!
However, do remember that most women who experience domestic violence don't continually have violent relationships. Here are some warning signs to watch for:
If he's been in a violent relationship before. Abusive men rarely change.
Don't make the mistake of thinking 'it will be different with me - she didn't treat him right'. It's also worth remembering that although there are some men who are abused, almost without exception, every abuser claims that he was really the victim.
He puts your friends down and/or makes it difficult for you to see them.
He loses his temper over trivial things.
He has very rigid ideas about the roles of men and women and can't/ won't discuss it reasonably.
His mood swings are so erratic that you find yourself constantly trying to assess his mood and only think in terms of his needs. A healthy relationship has give and take.
It's difficult for you to get emotional or physical space away from him - even if you directly ask for it. And if you do get it, he 'grills' you about where you've been and who you were with.
He criticises you all the time - about your weight, your hair, your clothes, etc.
He makes all the decisions in your relationship and ignores your needs or dismisses them as unimportant.
One thing to be cautious of is rushing into a new committed relationship before having healed from the abuse. You may be especially vulnerable to predatory men at this time and it's also a good idea to spend some time focusing on your own needs.
You can start all over. Lots of women managed to re-build their lives after an abusive relationship. Have faith in the Lord. He will walk you down His right path.
Mark 9:23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
Proverbs 16:3 Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
God bless and protect everyone!
My resolution for today, next month, and years to come is to be further from the world and closer to the Word.
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flutemusic67 
- Posts: 268
- Location: USA
- Marital Status: Engaged
-
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by flutemusic67 » Fri May 02, 2008 5:28 pm
pearl wrote:Can you list warning signs for other kinds of abuse as well?
Sure, pearl. Will do. A lot of signs overlap. Thanks for suggesting that.
Love ya!
My resolution for today, next month, and years to come is to be further from the world and closer to the Word.
-
flutemusic67 - Posts: 268
- Location: USA
- Marital Status: Engaged
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