Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

javascript:emoticon('*Pray*') I am confused and lost The bible says that God You want our happiness and will be with us and all prayers are heard and answered. God according to Your will I prayed to You before during, and after I tried to love my ex-the way he need to be loved, to support, forgive but now here I sit alone after 38 years. His old flam, over 40 years ago looked him up, actively pursued him and won, now is living in with him and he said he was never happy and now is at peace. God I am hurt, jealous, sad and what did I do wrong! I said the wrong prayers, I did not listen hard enough, what? I trusted You , the hurt is so strong and the loneliness, the depression. And I know I am not alone there are so many , yes a lot worst off than I am, I am thankful to You God for all I have. I give all I have, to include my free will; I worship You alone and Thank You for Jesus. Why God, God where are You.? I am screaming, begging, for help, direction, peace, hope, wisdom, acceptance, a faithful companion, not just for me but all of us

First of all - God does love you.

Your message says that you struggled to love your husband the way he needed to be loved. That sounds as though your husband had low self-esteem or another problem and that he blamed you. It sounds like your marriage was a struggle.

People with low self-esteem frequently seek new relationship after new relationship because they need the intense reaction of a honeymoon period. It isn't just in romantic relationships - it can be in switching churches or jobs.

Elizabeth Taylor said that she married often because she liked being in love. She didn't like the work that went with having a sustained relationship.

As you know, it takes two to be married. One cannot keep a marriage together. No matter how hard that one works.

I imagine that the pain is too intense right now for you to really let it go to God. You will need to do that as soon as you are able. Right now, it is probably best that you give yourself permission to scream and cry and let it all out. But, don't get lost in this release. And make sure that you are spending time with God. If you can't concentrate on reading or doing your normal devotional - play music, listen to television preachers, play verses on tape or sermons on tape. Keep the word of God coming at you.

But, you will need to mourn. And you will probably need to wail. And you need to let yourself do that - just don't, don't let that become your whole life.

Love and prayers.

cawme...how very sad for you. What a terrible thing to happen to a marriage. All the pain and hurt you are going through. You are here though...reaching out for help and still reaching out to God...so not all is lost. Im so glad you are here. I will be praying for you.

Dear cawme,
First let me welcome you here to oasis
next let me say I have some idea what you are going through
you see I was married for almost 14 years had 3 kids and thought we were happy....but we wasn't, I was searching for affection in places that I NEVER should have because I felt I was starving for it, she was no longer in love....oops I don't think I love you anymore, and it got worse and worse until it blew up in my face, we separated, I went to counseling with 2 pastors, 1 professional,did the counseling on here, and prayed more than I ever have my whole life.......only to have it be final we will no longer be together, I was mad and hurt by God, why did He allow this, can't He see the pain I feel, can't He see how much I wanted to "fix" my marriage.
It has been over a year and I am realizing that was not Gods plan, no matter how bad I wanted it or the kids needed it it was NOT meant to be
I have no other women in my life(nor have I had since my wife) and it is hard but I have come to realize that if this is the path He has for me then so be it, Am I still hurting...for sure, would I love to have my old life back...yes indeed, would I at least like to have another woman in my life...yes, But most importantly I have asked God what He wants of me, as for now I don't think I have gotten an answer, so I am still waiting for His lead.
I guess more than anything I'm trying to say maybe God knows more than you about your relationship with your ex, Please don't doubt Him, He has a answer for you and me we just have to be patient and wait for His timing and TRUST HIM.
one other picture for your mind, I know you have seen the kid in the store that throws a tantrum...I WANT IT NOW!!!! if they had a good parent did they get what they wanted because of the fit no, if they EVER got what they wanted it was because they were patient and obedient to the parent.
I hope this is taken as I meant it and not misunderstood, God has something for you, you just have to wait for his timing and be obedient to Him.
May God bless you and HIS WILL be done in your life
Cuc