Well, Goldie > you are doing much better, not being angry at God. And being angry at yourself . . . well, you might be reason for anger, if you have done things wrong; but we don't want to just keep on being angry > this can be a way of keeping ourselves from doing what we need to do to do better. And so *that* kind of anger would not be God's way of anger.
"for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (James 1:20)
So, *when* I fail > I can just go rrrh about my failing, but then get right into being still and quiet for God to get me better . . . in His peace. I can not trust any thinking and stinking that I may be doing while I am stewing about my own failure or I'm putting down other people. I need to get in God's peace, then discover how He has me positive and with hope to do better, and seeing how He has me caring about others who I was criticizing and putting down.
Not to ever stay committed to what I was feeling and thinking and deciding while I was negative and nasty and down on myself and other people. As soon as I calm down, let that just go > that was the devil's stupidity, I understand; so I am not obligated to how I was thinking while I was stinking
If you got nasty on yourself, that's over. Now start fresh. Flush what doesn't belong in us > rather than hold it in until it bursts out > use the toilet > flush, as God makes us able. Nor should I express and take out things on others > flush. Let the living waters of the Holy Spirit come in, instead.
But many of us are saying, yeah that has not worked. Me, too. But it says to confess our failures to God, and trust Him to make us do better; it's very embarrassing and a shame and scary how I keep on failing, but >
"casting all your care upon Him,
. . . . .for He cares for you." ( 1 Peter 5:7)
This failure of mine is a care. How I know better so there's no excuse > this is a care, too > so, I cast this on God,
but then understand He wants me to also have compassion on others inexcusable, as He has had mercy on me.
So, we gotta keep at it, keep flushing that toilet.
Oh yes . . . we have James 5:16 >
"Confess your trespasses to one another,
and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much."
Ah, so *this* is what produces
the righteousness of God > mutual confession with mutual healing prayer to get us
healed of what makes us able to sin and then suffer. So, yes we do have a part in this . . . doing this with God and with one another, not isolating ourselves in our own struggling and frustration.
In my case, I know it is the pleasure seeking stuff and criticizing people that gets me degraded from God so I can have my emotional problems. Immoral imagining is enough to get me away from God and His peace; then I am weak enough to get into paranoid nonsense. And, vice versa - - if I indulge myself in criticizing people and imagining how I can straighten them out . . . now I'm weak enough to give in to the pleasure temptations.
Another thing I did was watch hours of TV. I'd say this could have me down from God. Then I got into sharing on the Net with ladies, and I found I needed to devote myself to prayer and meditating on how I was relating with them in love or not. Very readily, I could see I could not be watching TV in the passive way I did, and stay alive in devoting to God and how He had me learning how to love with ones I knew on the Net and phone. Also . . . the dynamics of my relationships with these women who had been divorced and abused and were sharing with me about this and other things > this, for me a guy never married, was much more interesting than any action shows on TV
It wasn't hard to stay away.
Even when one I fell for dumped me > there I was > there's the TV > but it was so better and more interesting relating with her > and if I trusted God, He would bring me to more and better than I had with her; so . . . uh-uh to the TV > not a hard choice, at all > I gave myself to Him, as well as I could, learned from how I *needed* to be dumped, and was eager to see how I could do better with others.
Being busy with our attention to loving > this can make it hard work for other thoughts and emotions to get the better of us >
"I will not be brought under the power of any," Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:12. Our emotions and reactions often are related to how we are under the power of people and things in this life.
"Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth." (Colossians 3:2)