Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

hi all,

I haven't been on here for a wee while, but right at this moment i feel strong enough to tell you that myself and my husband were bankrupted a year ago. I have told 2 people since this has happened. I feel this emense shame and not a good example as a christian.
the bankruptcy happened because we couldn't fund a small loan which was a deposit for some land. We did all that we could to the best of our knowledge to pay back this money. the property market did a downward spiral and we couldn't sell it before we needed to pay the deposit.
I would like to know where and why I feel this way and really need some encouragement.

thanks all

Hello smitties. It's good to hear you know God. That will be a huge benefit to you as you seek the answers to your questions.

God is not shame based. The enemy of your soul likes to throw shame in our face and keep reminding us for years to come what we did wrong. Focus on What God did so that you could be free from this shame.

Your down fall can be used by God to reach others who are in the same boat and many many many are in that boat and feeling the same shame and grieving their loss. There are so many broken hearts just like yours that need a friend just like you that can say they understand because they have been there. Praise God now you can reach them. I'm not making light of your situation as I know it's difficult. But there is no going back only forward. Some grieve their loss so huge they take their life. Your testimony of how you continued on despite the struggle could save a life. But you have to share it. Don't hide your light under a bushel. If you start sharing you may find there are more who understand than you thought. There are people here who I know understand and who will find comfort in hearing they are not alone. I pray they see your post and let you know they've been where you are.

Know where the shame is coming from and fight it with the blood shed on the cross for you. Yes Yes Yes! The blood on the cross. It wasn't cheap. A heavy price was paid so we could be free from shame. This has been a great reminder to me this morning.

Glad you were led here sister. May God bless and keep you. May you find the answers you are searching for.

Hi smitties, welcome to the Oasis. I think we often have that feeling of shame because we are embarrassed of our situation and afraid of what others might say. We often also, wonder if we could have done things differently to have a different outcome. Just lots of ifs, ands or buts...but in reality God is in control of all situations...and we can find peace in knowing that He knows why...and He wants to help you heal from these feelings. He wants you to get back up and get back to living the life He has planned for you...He wants you to grow closer to Him...and allow Him to guide your path.

My prayers are with you smitties.

Take care and God Bless

thank you both so much for your replies and for your encouragement. I really needed to hear those things. I would absolutely love to hear from anyone who has been through a similar situation. It feels pretty lonely sometimes. I think I haven't told people too because I don't trust them, mostly christian's. I can understand non christians saying hurtfull stuff but I expected more from christians. Does anyone have any scripture verses they could share that helped them through their struggles.

thanks and god bless you all

Hebrews 15:5Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;never will I forsake you.”

Consider the story of walking on water. When Peter looked at the waves He sank. When He kept His eyes on Jesus He could walk on water.

One of my favorites to give hope of a better future....Isaiah 43:19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

Hi there Yep one of my favorite verses is: John 16:33
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

May you find that sweet peace in Him. You are going to get through this...just take it one small step at a time.

Prayers continue.

Take care hun

thanks everyone. I really appreciate it

Hi Smitties,

Interesting post. Sorry to hear about your hard times. I am obviously speaking from afar, so I am ignorant to all the fine details of your situation.

But my first impression is that the enemy seems to be forcing his way into your thoughts, trying to make you feel even worse about your tough situation than you already do. This is nothing new of course, this is what the enemy does to all of us at various times.

It's of course good for a Christian to regularly reflect on their faith, and whether something they have done has not been in keeping with what Jesus would expect of one of his people. But there is no doubt that the enemy looks for any chance to creep his way into the thoughts of The Lord's people, and get them to feel as if they're disappointing their Lord, at times when there is no real reason to think in such a manner. In a nutshell, causing as much anxiety as possible in the minds of The Lord's people is what he wants to do, any way that he can. And like I said, we are all victims of this at various times.

I'll end it there, lest I begin to waffle. Just remember that The Lord wants you to come closer to Him in this difficult time. Any other thoughts, ie. doubts, are from the enemy.

God bless you.

I too had to file bankruptcy about 9 yrs. ago. A major chain did a long term land lease with the owner of the property where we were leasing so we were given 60 days to get out. So, we scraped together enough money to move our business that had been located in the same place for 18 yrs.... 6 months later we filed.... I felt horrible at first. Then my attorney actually counseled me about it. He said that the way our laws are written is to give people a fresh start when they legitimately need one. If we did not have bankruptcy laws in place the only other option would be debtors prison or being a slave to the one you owned money to.

Romans 13 instructs us to follow the laws of the land and to submit to governing authorities. The law is that people in your situation have the right to file. I would admit that there are too many people that take advantage of the system but it does not sound like that was you and me. Also, my lawyer told me that if we did not have bankruptcy laws in this country then people would never borrow money to stimulate economic growth because the consequences for non payment would be too high.

One other thing. My family as never owned a credit card since that time and all we owe on is the house. I think it was the Lord that told me not to get back into debt, period. I'm not saying that it is right for everyone but for us if we do not have the money it does not get purchased... Praise God.

The one major shame that I struggled with was that I had to file on a personal friend that loaned money for our business. it was several years before I had the courage after being prompted by the Holy Spirit to be at peace with all men whenever it has to do with me. I wrote him a letter and asked for his forgiveness. He sent me back a letter that released me from carrying that burdened anymore. He said he knew when he loaned the money that there was risk involved and he made the choice to do it anyway. I gave it to the Lord and rarely do I think about that time. Except when I think of all the good God has brought out of that situation. I never knew how completely overwhelmed I was till it was all gone.

I will be praying for you....God's grace is with you...Steve

p.s. Remember the year of Jubilee???

Thank you Steve for your story. God Bless