Christianity Oasis Forum

[flossie]

Wow I am so embarrassed by this but if I cant reach out to my Christian brothers and sisters for help well I just know this is who christ wants me to reach out to for help I am just not sure where to start.
My sister and I have have never been close .I am 56 and she is 52.She has hated me all my life every day for the 1st 18 years of her life she told me she hated me and wished I was dead.I grew immune to it or so I thought.My mom allowed this .I was not allowed to say anything back to her because my mom always said she doesn't mean it but when you say anything you mean it.
Last Christmas she spouted off something ugly as she has done hundreds of times before but this time I spouted something ugly back.I had never done that before.She became dangerously upset and ended up hitting me bruising my neck ,breaking my necklace .tried to break my eyeglasses and called me horrible names .I apologized but she said it was too late and I was never to speak to her or look at her or come near her
again.Of course she is now calming down and wants to have some kind of relationship because she has no kids or grandkids of her own.
I pray for her everyday .I ask God to save her and help her and help her to be happy.I also ask god to help me forgive her.But I am having trouble doing so even though I pray for this everyday.I do not want to have any type of relationship with her.I am tired of being hurt .I am tired of being called horrible names.I am tired of being her whipping post and I am tired of being scared of what she is going to be doing to me next.I don't want to be near her.My family thinks I am awful but she doesn't do all this stuff when anyone is around.They have no idea how she is and they think i am exaggerating but I am not.I pray for her but I don't want to ever be near her again.I just don't know what to do.Any one got any suggestions.I really want to do the right thing but honestly I am not sure what the right thing is

[realtmg]

Flossie, you are doing what is right. You are asking God to help you to forgive. You have reached out for answers to people here.
Remember how Jesus was spit on and hated for doing was was right yet He was despised. Try to look at the sin and not the sinner. Love covers a multitude of sins. Be willing to humble and confront your sister at God's timing to express the concerns and feelings you have. Do not keep harboring resentments. Keep praying and this too shall pass.
Your post reminded me of how Jesus kept doing the will of His Father while people verbally abused Him. You can change my friend. We can not change others but God can. Keep praying. Check this study out: http://www.christianityoasis.com/Keywor ... veness.htm

Thanks for sharing. luv Ya. Real.

[Guest]

Well Flossie... I do understand where you are...My oldest brother is abet like your sister...Is it hard to forgive him/her.....yet to leave the door open to him/her well be hard too......and think it will be harder on them since they are alone...and he/she loves to be in control... but I will put you and your sister in prayer

[splash]

Hi Flossie,

My heart goes out to you it must be so painful to have someone who should love you be hating you like that.

Maybe now when your sister is wanting to have some relationship with you she would be willing to go with you to church or a Bible study. Perhaps this can be your opportunity to share the love of Jesus with her (probably through a pastor or someone else cuz face it she's not going to listen to it from you).

Remember, it's ok to hate the actions that have hurt you. But somehow you need to ask God for the strength to separate the actions from your sister so you can love her unconditionally. That's what God did for us when he put our sins onto Jesus on the cross so he could love us apart from them.

That doesn't mean that you have to subject yourself to abuse. Sometimes the best way to love someone is not to spend time with them. Being alone can be the only thing that will make a person cry out for Jesus. Pray about it and be sure that you have the Holy Spirit's leading. Search out His will for your relationship with your sister through His Word. The truth is there for the seeking.

Lovin Christ,

Splash