Stepping stone day 1
Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 7:25 pm
I am here because I sometimes I feel like I am all alone. I struggle with being close to someone because choices I have made and past hurts. Sometimes I don't feel forgiven by God and I feel like I do not deserve the love that is being given to me. I was in a relationship before for several years and now I am in another relationship with a really loving and patient guy. He has been hurt by me and other women he has come across in his life. This relationship is so different than what I have been used to in the past that I push him away. Love is present in our relationship but more from him than me I want to accept his love and give love back to him but I have so much difficulty in doing so. I mean there have been several incidents where the emotion was so overwhelming that I have had anxiety about being vulnerable to him. I tend to get frustrated by it I pray but I don't know I get anything from it I read the word and I think I try to alter what I read to fit me. I know we make our own plans but Gods plan are always greater than ours. Sometimes I believe that maybe this is not the relationship that God wants me to be in because of the fear I have but I know that fear is not from God. I know that we are to pursue love and to not just love one another but love each other deeply. In knowing these things I still get lazy and remain disobedient to what his word says. I just hope that these stepping stone will help me to change the way I think and believe what the word says and to learn to love and accept myself and my mistakes. I hope to learn to see myself just as God sees me!