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Its crazy I have gone through many battles in life and to those who know me I am like superwoman, I always take on so much responsibility. I work til I cant work anymore I do until I cant do anymore, but what people around doesn't realized even my husband is that im gripped by fear everything scares me i have never been one of those people to say it could never happen to ne I am very aware that it can.
Here lately ive been hit from every angle, my step aunt passed away found out my moms sister has ovarian cancer, cousin has cancer and then one of my closest friends grandmothers who kind of stepped in when my gram passed away has breast cancer. My son started misbehaving and teaching his sister craziness and then if that wasn't anough my hubby and I started not really seeing eye to eye and we had major repairs on our car which ran through our savings. And then there was a light at the end of the tunnel I found out I was expecting and then there was this instant fear and dread. I had two miscarriages before GOD blessed us with my baby girl and that was one of the hardest times in my life. So my first thought was ok if my levels are fine everything is going to be fine i called my Dr who made an appointment to have blood work done and everything was fine a couple weeks went by and my hubby and I told people just because for me not telling people made me feel like I was waiting for something bad to happen and I wanted prayers and I couldn't get that if no one knew. Everything was going good Ive been settling in to the fact that everything was going to be just fine, we even told our son which we had been waiting because the 2 miscarriages took a toll on him but he overheard a conversation so we had to tell him. Then all of a sudden I felt pressure here and there and all of these fears came rushing back like a tun of bricks and I'm trying to figure out did I feel this this time or that time what if this happens. Maybe im being punished for this or for that, this is supposed to be a good weekend im graduating from college maybe this isn't meant to happen or that isnt meant to happen. Do I have to give a life for a life, and yes I know most of these things running through my head are lies of the devil to cripple me and im trying to fight back but Lord knows its hard. Please pray for me!!
I know that GOD knows what's best for me and either way there is absolutely nothing I can change about this situation rather everything will be fine or not I know that is all in GOD's hand unfortunately this fear is just eating me up. You gone through it twice and GOD didn't stop it why would he stop it this time you missed 3 church services because you were so tired from working. Again more lies from the devil and im constantly weeding out these thoughts it just like the more I weed out the more the devil tries to throw at me weeding out these thoughts aren't easy but GOD knows im trying I need strength. I can't say im a perfect christian not even close but im trying to be better GOD is working in me. Im just tired of being afraid, im tired of worrying Lord knows I need peace.

Hi Dria28,

His Grace and Peace to you, from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ



I want you to know that you are not alone and there is NO CONDEMNATION for those in Christ. He has saved us and will save us to the end. The Lord is faithful and will be with His, never leaves nor will forsake.


Thank you for letting the body of Christ know of your trials and join in praying with you, for we are truly one in His body and all share His sufferings.
The enemy has lost his battle at the cross of calvary, he just want to distract you into looking at yourself and try fight this alone with lies that steal your courage, hope and strength away just like you have seen by the Lord's wisdom.
The truth is no one can pluck you out of the Lord's Hands for the Father is greatest above all. and the battle is His. I pray that you will be rooted deeply and firmly in God's Love through the storm and JUST BE YOURSELF BEFORE HIM, (as He is there with you and knows all), forget about what the enemy is doing this or that, what has been and might be, just to FOCUS ON THE LORD and He will carry you through with refined faith and testimonies. Rest in His never-failing Love that IS YOURS.. available and reaches out to you even if no one sees or understands, and you will find PEACE... overflowing from the bottom of your heart to your whole being, a Peace that this world doesn't know nor could take away, that is supreme and came from above, for we are INDEED His chosen people who sit in heaven with Him and will reign, praise Jesus!


Many Loves and hugs to you in Christ, with prayers and thanksgiving

hope to hear from you the rest of the Story He writes through you

Amen, Chazown, Amen!

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf, Dria. God's will be done.

God bless and keep you and yours.
Love,
Mack

Fear itself is bad for you. Worry is unhealthy. Do you spend time just being quiet with God? Daily? That is very important. I really recommend that you find a way to just sit. Read one Bible verse and give your heart to God. Talk to him. Pour this stuff out to God. 10 minutes a day makes a huge difference.

Thanks everyone for your prayers and support, I have been spending that time with GOD recently. My problem has always been that I will focus on GOD prayer, studying, time and then all of a sudden the enemy would come in and attack me from every angle in my past that would cause me to just let go of GOD the pass 4years I haven't let go of him but sometimes I do fall or lose sight but I would never let go of his hands and slowly but surely GOD would always show me that I wasn't focusing on him rather it was through my husband or chastising one of my children. and I would began to get my priorities right. Fear is something that I have been fighting since I was a little girl, but I know that GOD can and will deliver me from that.
IF GOD IS FOR ME WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME!!


Thank you so much,
Dria

My heart aches for you Dria. I am praying for you. This life is really difficult. It sounds like you are doing the right things, pulling weeds, praying ect. Perhaps you are missing a few ingredients. Bath in the reality that Jesus loves you just as you are. No matter if you attend church or not, no matter if you sin (which He knows we will). As soon as you hear that condemning voice that you missed church or what ever it's saying smile as you bath in that fact that you are immediately forgiven.

If I understood you correctly I read that you were afraid God would punish you by taking your unborn child away. That is such a horrible lie the devil is gripping you with. If It helps I suffered a miscarriage. The doctors said I couldn't have children and I have 3. It is very possible you have a very healthy happy baby.

You may think you deserve to be miserable, unhappy, alone. You may reject the peace and love that is available to you daily. I suspect this because we are a bit similar in our childhood sufferings. The truth is you are Gods child who He loves dearly and He wishes to bless you greatly. Even if you don't feel you deserve it. He knows and understands your deepest pains. God doesn't bring death He brings life.

I hope my words help some how. God loves you! And so do I.

Hello Pine,
Thank you so much for your kind words and support, I am sorry that it took me so long to reply but it has been a very difficult couple of months. I did lose my baby although it has been a very deeply felt loss, I know that GOD is holding him or her in his arms. So I am at peace with it, my 7 year old took it very hard and began to blame GOD due to the fact he had been praying for me to have another child for a little over a year. So dealing with that on top of the loss was difficult and I am praying that GOD would touch his heart. He has prayed and asked GOD to forgive him for the way he feels he just has this bitterness that I am praying GOD removes, I am praying that curse in broken with me.

GOD has taken me full circle in these last couple of months, I have had to face the fact that I haven't been staying in his world the way that I should have and I needed to depend and trust in him. Which for me is a very hard thing to do I have been operating on my own strength for a long time, I have realized that I give things to GOD and just as quick as I give it to him I take it all back. I Thank him for his faithfulness, and his Love despite the fact your right I don't feel as though I deserve any of it. My mind sometimes thinks wrongful things, although I try not to be sometimes I can be judgmental when people don't think the way I think or behave I feel they should, I am definitely lacking in the patience department, I have to fight the spirit of lying when talking to my mother and oh please don't let me get started on that pride. And GOD knows much more but through all of that he loves me, he has stuck by me he has protected me and he keeps providing for me and for that I am Thankful!!!
I have my good days and my bad days, but I know that no matter what he will make a way if I would just put my trust in him.
Thank you for your support