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This is actually written on the 3rd day. Yesterday and this early morning were the worst experience in my life in the walk of Christ. The entire day yesterday, I was so consumed mostly by what she did to me. It's really haunt me and I got so lonely which will lead to the thought that she doesn't has to be lonely; she is with someone. My friend found us a date; just random dates. We drank outside and even brought them home. I kept on praying the whole night and spent time in the washroom with my dog when 4 girls were on my bed (because they kept rolling on me). Around 8 something this morning, I was so tired and still hung over from earlier. I laid down on one side of the bed and...almost have sex with one of the girl. It was the worst feeling ever. I got it now...nothing but real love from the Lord FIRST then real love from the Godly relationship (as stated by Shan on my Step 1) can give me peace and satisfaction.

Jesus Christ! The temptation was hight this morning. If I wasn't really in love with my ex, something might happened. The most importantly of all, I kept on hearing His voice in my heart and that just killed the lust instantly. I'm done with this kinda life; no more drinking, smoking, or try to date around (tried it once and look at the result!). I thank God that I didn't do anything. Take this as a confession from a brother, please.

2nd Step! I am going to write down what I think I need and going to have faith that God will give me the best for me. That's what I'm going to do. I'm changing my life around.

Hi James,

After reading your confession and (thank you for sharing that) I was lead to this Proverb of Solomon - Chapter 7

1 My son, keep my words
and store up my commands within you.

2 Keep my commands and you will live;
guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.

3 Bind them on your fingers;
write them on the tablet of your heart.

4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
and to insight, “You are my relative.”

5 They will keep you from the adulterous woman,
from the wayward woman with her seductive words.


I will continue to pray for you brother that you will open your heart to the God of the universe who ALONE is able to fill your heart to overflowing with His great mercy and love.

In Christ,
Shan