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I have recently come to grips with the fact that I really do not like myself. I have suffered through a lot of health problems, marital/relationship issues, financial problems, and all of the day to day stress and frustration that we all have to deal with. Through out the past several years, I have made some very bad choices in how to deal with them. I lost my faith approximately 10 years ago and began hating the world due to some horrible things I experienced. Luckily, I had people around me that cared about me and continued to help me through even when I know I was unbearable. I was baptized around 4 years ago and have been on a roller coaster of faith and how to behave since that time. I have finally admitted to myself that I am addicted to pain medication and have been for quite some time. If I didnt have any, I recently got to where I was taking my husband's. I feel like I have become a worthless human being and honestly would be happy not to exist anymore. I am on day 3 of not taking any pain medication. I feel anxious, uneasy, exhausted, tearful and hate the person I have become. I want to be the best Christian wife, mother and woman that I can possibly be, and am having a very hard time getting there. I dont want to be angry and negative anymore. I want to see the positive in things and finally understand that I am not the one in control. I need all the prayers and help I can get.

Hello BabyChristian

God bless you this day, and welcome to Christianity Oasis

The title of your post "Needing to Change" -- I like that. We all could use a huge dose of that, huh? Well, God is just the One Who can change us into the person He intended us to be. He is willing, and from the title you chose for this post, you are willing also. Yeah!!!

As you read the 14 Day Counseling / CCCC Study, you will learn blessed Truth, and godly principles that, if you apply to your life, will help you in growing in The Lord and in that blessed relationship that The Lord longs to have with you. Jesus loves you so very much.

I, and others, will be coming along and encouraging you, as you continue to read the study, and are here to try to answer any questions that you may have. If we don't know, we'll assist you in the search for those answers, as The Holy Spirit of God leads.

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. May God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you, BabyChristian81.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack