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I tried this a few weeks ago, didn't go so well.So here it goes again. I am 42 years old and battling with a deep depression and self hatred. I feel that the Lord has left me. Maybe because I have done alot of bad things lately. I grew up in an abusive home and had no friends, The friends I did have were in my mind and the real friends I would self destruct anything I had. And still do. I think it was to protect myself from more hurt. I built walls so high that now I can't get over them and don't see away around them. I blamed the Lord for not making my mom see what my dad was doing to us. I blamed the Lord for not stopping my father. I hated my father, I know that is rather harsh. But the man was evil I believe. I have recently realized that I resented my mother also. Mainly because she didn't get us out of that situation and I can't tell her this because it would hurt her badly. I know that she was a victim also. And has stayed a victim. I hate me! I don't want to be a victim anymore. I can't be a victim anymore, it is KILLING ME. I have had seriously thoughts of suicide and even attempted it this summer. Where was God? I know that he loves me, but I am so far away, I don't know how to get back. I have done so many bad things, does he still love me? I don't even love me. I don't know how to love me or anyone else. I feel so alone. I have no friends. The people I with think I am crazy. Maybe I am, maybe everyone would be better off without me. Give God please help me. I feel so lost and scared. I want and need help I know. Please Lord help me. show me the way to back to you. I don't like who I am. I DON'T LIKE ME!!! I feel like a phony.

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Hi, God Bless You

Im happy u shared your thaughts with us, now we can pray together, u not alone, the Lord guied u to this website because he's listening yo u. Remember the devil is the acuser and Our dearest God is the lover with ever lasting mercy. He can forgive anything. Please open your heart in prayer to the Lord like this: Dear Lord i want to change, I want to know u better please open my eyes, my ears and touch my spirit with your Love. I renounce to the feeling of hatred, bitternes, unforgiveness and depresion in the name of jesus. i ask for forgives for my sins and the sin of hatred, bitternes,and unforgiveness and i ask u to heal me and clean me with the blood of the cross. Help me break free from this yolk ,in the name of jesus i ask u. Protect me from my enemys, I know u love me, i want to believe more in you, help my unbelieve, in the jesus name i ask. Lord feel me up with your love,strength and peace. I Thank u Lord because my healing has already started and i will break free from all this pain. thank u for your healing. .
amen.

I'll Pray with u, just be patient . u r of much valuable to us, im sure the Lord is so happy u taken this step. Every thing is going to be just right.

Bye and God Bless u .

bgg, I am praying for you. I have a word (scripture) for you. PLEASE READ AND THINK ON IT Eph 3:16-21 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your heart as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen. bgg, These are not just mere words, THIS IS WHAT CHRIST GIVES TO EVERYONE WHO TRULY SEEKS HIM. 14 days, Dear Sister, 14 days, be faithful. Jimf