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I am starting to see some of the roots of my problems. Being around people brings out those problems in your mind. I had a good time seeing my family yesterday and I am glad that I got to see them again. Being around them for a while and seeing and hearing where they are in life, brought a lot things in my own heart to light. I have a lot of growing to do. I struggle with being judgmental, but yesterday I took a step toward deliverance from it. Today thinking some things through though were troubling me. I did my best to not judge them and react to the beer and cigarettes and profanity and all that stuff that comes with living as the world, but in my conscience during my encounters with them and even today I struggle with not being judgmental but seeking ways to share truth about Jesus. And then my issue with rejection and people pleasing or tolerating things that people do or are doing that hurt me were coming to the surface today. I love my family but I know that truly loving them requires me to live truthfully among them even when they don't want to hear it and I am struggling with that and not feeling as if I'm being judgmental. I think I put too much pressure on my own conscience because of the way that I want to appear to people and it's coming to light. I realize this is good, but something has to change in me soon. I want to be real and sometimes I feel like I'm being fake with people when I don't talk to them about Jesus because of my fear of being perceived as religious. I am so struggling with this in all areas now. It's in me somehow that I must share Jesus with people, but in my mind I deal with the rejection and fear of how they will perceive me. It's gonna change, I'm gonna get this right.

Hello Ahubbard

God bless you this day.

I can understand what you are saying, there are a lot of those awkward moments, and no, we don't want to come across as their judge and jury, nor does God want us to.

I have found that in situations like that, that if I introduce something else in the mix -- on the fray of the other activity, maybe sharing photos or even to wash up a few dishes, offer to lend a hand to the host/hostess. Usually, at least one other person will leave the main activity also and then we just talk about something else. It may be just for "the one" -- one other person that is there, not always the other 99. Healthy, good and godly alternatives don't always have to be in the form of sharing scriptures, but in ministering to one soul, and asking how they are, and asking about their life.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Mack