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Step 12

PostPosted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 10:21 pm
by Pert
One of the scriptures in today's reading was 2 Corinthians 12:9, which reads "My strength is made perfect in weakness."

I certainly don't feel strong in my moments of weakness! This reading also instructs us to get up when we fall down. I've been trying to do this and live by this standard for a long while. Never stop, never quit, keep going, and carry on. Sometimes I don't even know where I'm going but I'm afraid to stop. I know if I stop I won't ever get back up. I might not know how to get back up, so I don't stop. I keep going. I dust myself off and keep going. Sometimes I don't even wait for myself to fall all the way down, I just kind of "tuck and roll"... at least that way I still have some forward momentum LOL.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't get tired, though. Never stopping gets tiring sometimes. Sometimes I want to stop, NOT to give up, but just to rest. Sometimes I'm so tired physically, mentally, spiritually, that I don't even know what to do with myself. But I don't stop. I'm afraid to. I feel like stopping or giving up or quitting would be a hindrance to any blessings I might recieve. I'm reminded Isaiah 40:31-- "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint." I suffered with insomnia for a number of years. It started when I was about 20 or 21 and went on for 3 years or so. There were nights I wouldn't sleep at all. I'd go to bed and lay there, staring at the wall until I turned over and watched the sun rise. I still deal with bouts of insomnia, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was, THANK GOD. But in the days when it was at its worst, I was miserable. Talk about wanting to give up! But I didn't. By the grace of God, I made it through. I didn't stop then, and I won't stop now. There is a time for everything, and I guess it is not yet my season for rest. When it does come though, I will greatly enjoy it!!!!

Re: Step 12

PostPosted: Tue Aug 07, 2012 6:54 am
by Christnundrconstruxn
Hi Pert

It is awesome to hear your words of not giving up, I too have wanted so many times to give up
to the points at times I allowed satan to torment me with thoughts of suicide :cry:
and other times of just walking away and letting the chips fall were they may.....you know just STOP living
only being alive (hope that makes sense)
But something *JesusSign* has ALWAYS pushed me back to reality
I spent 3-4 days in a car freezing in the dead of winter when I left my ex, not because I had to, I had several places I could have went, but that night I was on my way to the bar to get drunk and forget it all (hadn't drank in years)
something forced me into a parking lot and I spent the next days there......it was my church parking lot *BigGrin*
He has His way of stearing us away from giving up.....it's just weather we are listening or not.
Pert if I had not listened that night I would probably not made it to here or even have a life at all right now
I hit rock bottom hard that night but He was there and yes it's still been a bumpy hard ride but He continues to remind me He's still there to pick me up....if I just let Him.

Speaking of reminding,
I'm reminded Isaiah 40:31-- "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint."

That is my favorite verse, and yes while it started for other reasons I come to see the true meaning behind it as you have
I don't know if you have or not but the song "Mighty to save" if you have not heard it go to my profile page and it is the seventh song take the time to listen to it.

God bless you and I pray He opens the flood gates of heaven and shows you all He has for you *hug*
Cuc

Re: Step 12

PostPosted: Tue Aug 07, 2012 1:46 pm
by xxJILLxx
Hello Pert,

It is so refreshing to see you are your way to finishing this counseling program, although it is never over, it takes daily practice and our dedication to continue to move forward in our healing.

I would like to comment on this.
I certainly don't feel strong in my moments of weakness!


referring to "My strength is made perfect in weakness."


It is my understanding of this verse that when in my weak moment, I am humbled because it is no longer I that can move those mountains, but I turn to the Lord who teaches me how to be strong at the moment of weakness. When He was feeling distraught over the task at hand, He went out alone and spoke to His Father, accepted His will and then went on with what the Father had willed. In His weakness, God made His strength perfect! Hallelujah! I can't imagine Jesus felt very strong in His own capabilities therefore He would not of needed to go to the Father to gather the strength to overcome whatever His fate would be. To God be the Glory.

Thank you Father for showing us how to be strong, Amen

God bless u Pert, I enjoy reading your posts.

♥Jill