Step 12
Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 10:21 pm
One of the scriptures in today's reading was 2 Corinthians 12:9, which reads "My strength is made perfect in weakness."
I certainly don't feel strong in my moments of weakness! This reading also instructs us to get up when we fall down. I've been trying to do this and live by this standard for a long while. Never stop, never quit, keep going, and carry on. Sometimes I don't even know where I'm going but I'm afraid to stop. I know if I stop I won't ever get back up. I might not know how to get back up, so I don't stop. I keep going. I dust myself off and keep going. Sometimes I don't even wait for myself to fall all the way down, I just kind of "tuck and roll"... at least that way I still have some forward momentum LOL.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't get tired, though. Never stopping gets tiring sometimes. Sometimes I want to stop, NOT to give up, but just to rest. Sometimes I'm so tired physically, mentally, spiritually, that I don't even know what to do with myself. But I don't stop. I'm afraid to. I feel like stopping or giving up or quitting would be a hindrance to any blessings I might recieve. I'm reminded Isaiah 40:31-- "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint." I suffered with insomnia for a number of years. It started when I was about 20 or 21 and went on for 3 years or so. There were nights I wouldn't sleep at all. I'd go to bed and lay there, staring at the wall until I turned over and watched the sun rise. I still deal with bouts of insomnia, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was, THANK GOD. But in the days when it was at its worst, I was miserable. Talk about wanting to give up! But I didn't. By the grace of God, I made it through. I didn't stop then, and I won't stop now. There is a time for everything, and I guess it is not yet my season for rest. When it does come though, I will greatly enjoy it!!!!
I certainly don't feel strong in my moments of weakness! This reading also instructs us to get up when we fall down. I've been trying to do this and live by this standard for a long while. Never stop, never quit, keep going, and carry on. Sometimes I don't even know where I'm going but I'm afraid to stop. I know if I stop I won't ever get back up. I might not know how to get back up, so I don't stop. I keep going. I dust myself off and keep going. Sometimes I don't even wait for myself to fall all the way down, I just kind of "tuck and roll"... at least that way I still have some forward momentum LOL.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't get tired, though. Never stopping gets tiring sometimes. Sometimes I want to stop, NOT to give up, but just to rest. Sometimes I'm so tired physically, mentally, spiritually, that I don't even know what to do with myself. But I don't stop. I'm afraid to. I feel like stopping or giving up or quitting would be a hindrance to any blessings I might recieve. I'm reminded Isaiah 40:31-- "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint." I suffered with insomnia for a number of years. It started when I was about 20 or 21 and went on for 3 years or so. There were nights I wouldn't sleep at all. I'd go to bed and lay there, staring at the wall until I turned over and watched the sun rise. I still deal with bouts of insomnia, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was, THANK GOD. But in the days when it was at its worst, I was miserable. Talk about wanting to give up! But I didn't. By the grace of God, I made it through. I didn't stop then, and I won't stop now. There is a time for everything, and I guess it is not yet my season for rest. When it does come though, I will greatly enjoy it!!!!