Christianity Oasis Forum

[grandma dolittle]

Today is Sunday and my favorite day of the week. I will go to church and feel God's presence and get fed to strengenth me for another week. There is something about being with fellow believers that gives you a special blessings and encourages you to strive harder. That is why God said to not forget to assemble our selves together and where two or three were together in one accord, he would be among us. Praise God, he is true to his word.

My wish is everone who comes to this site has a Spirit filled day and blessed in many ways. grandma

[Mrsabrown79]

Hey Grandma, I love Sunday's too! I've been in church all my life and as a child I loved going to church with my mother.

Yesterday my husband, my 3 boys, and myself went to church. We haven't went to church together in a long time, and just when I thought it was going to be a joyful day, Satan stepped in. I've told my husband about this counseling and I've shared with him how I now want to be fully living for God. Since then things has been going up and down...mostly down. I want so bad for us to have a spiritual relationship but every time I try to get him to go to church or study the word with me...it just doesn't end good. We had a blow up argument last night! My husband feels like I'm weak, emotional, and childish. He tells me all the time to suck it up and keep it moving but sometimes I just want him to hug me and tell me it will be alright. He doesn't do that. He feels like I'm holding back on being myself but I'm starting to think he just doesn't like the person I am. I will admit I'm not perfect but none of us are. If I don't act the way he feel I should act then its a problem. He told me last night he doesn't feel like I'm his soul mate anymore. He said he loves me but he feels things will never change. He sometimes makes me feel useless and that hurts. I love my husband and I pray everyday for God to strengthen our marriage. I just don't know what else to do besides pray. I know that as we get closer to God we might lose some friends in the process just because we don't do the things we used to do. I just hope I don't lose my husband, I can actually see a calling on his life and I would love to see that manifest, but now I don't know if that will happen. I think he's feeling like giving up on us. I don't want that to happen but at the same time I can't change who I am. Even If I am weak, emotional, and childish that is who I am. I'm trying to get to know God better and build a stronger relationship with him but I can't stay focus because of the tension between my husband and I. Everyone on the outside thinks we have a really good marriage, and a lot of times I feel we do too. He is a WONDERFUL man. A good father and just all around a good person.

He complains that I don't give him enough sexual attention, he feels like I spend too much money (which I'll admit I'm not good at managing money), he also feels that when I have my monthly (female) cycle I act childish by laying up with a heating pad...I've told him time after time I unfortunately have very bad cramps...but he tells me to suck it up and deal with it.

When we got married 5 years ago, I was 28 and he was 29yrs old. I was 8mhts pregnant. We have 3 boys, 5, 3, and 1yrs old. We dated 1 1/2 years before we got married. When we got married, I didn't even know how to cook. I had to pretty much become this wife and mother in a short time. I tried not to complain because I was happy and I just wanted to please my husband and I still do, but he feels I should be this Super Woman by now. I really don't understand that because I feel I am being who I am. He knows as a child, I was spoiled. I will admit I didn't hear the word NO very many times. I wasn't taught how to manage money, how to cook, and basically how to be a woman. Because I have always had a mature mind I think my mom didn't feel I needed that, or I don't know, but it wasn't taught. He knows I am trying to work on my weaknesses, I am trying to manage money better, I became a pretty good cook, but I guess its not enough. He said he has been patient for 5yrs and don't know how much longer he can deal with it.

I don't know what to do but pray. I feel when I'm trying really hard its still not enough. I'm praying for God to show me what it is I need to change about myself or what to do about my marriage. I'm not closed minded to the possibility that it could be me that's keeping this tension, but I don't exactly what to do or how to change.

Sorry for being so long, but I needed to vent. I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this except my husband but that hasn't been going to good lately.

I'm asking for you to lift us up in prayer, we need it! Thank you Grandma and thanks for listening or reading all of this....

[grandma dolittle]

Honey,
My ears and eyes are yours anytime you need to vent. We all need that outlet at times. As I read your post I got the feeling that your husband may be under conviction by your desire to live a closer life with God. He may be reacting this way toward you as a means of avoidance. I am not a counsilor, but I feel that your constant prayers for him and paitence and love could win him over to God. Allow him to see God's light and love in you and refuse to argue with him... I know sometimes that is hard to do. Have faith and remember that with God nothing is impossible. I will pray for both of you. grandma

[Mrsabrown79]

Thank you Grandma, that really helped me a ton!!!!! I feel much better now. I will continue to pray and try to be an example of being faithful to God in all situations, thanks again!!!!

[grandma dolittle]

I am praying.