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I feel joy at starting the 14-day program! I prayed and God directed me here. Here is my first journal entry:

I have been seeking a way to solve my problems and get my life on the track it should be on. I guess it should be on the track God wants it on. So much is holding me back, I feel. Most of it is due to my reaction to things. My emotional reaction. I have to deal with so many people everyday. Boyfriend, kids, roommates, classmates, friends at my home, friends calling, friends texting. I’m not good at juggling all these people. I miss my alone time. I miss when I didn’t have to be worried with what other people were doing, I could do what I want. Now, I need to take my boyfriend, kids and maybe even a friend or two into consideration. I feel so selfish. I just want to be by myself again. *sigh* but I know my desires are silly. What did I do when I was alone? Nothing special. Watched TV, read, played games, etc. Got into trouble eventually. All these people around are keeping me straight, I think. But how I resent them! How my flesh resents them! I want to go out and drink and meet boys and go home with them. And spend oodles and oodles of money. That’s what my flesh wants. But I know and God knows that’s not what I want from my heart. I know having a family and career is what I want. What I need to keep me straight. I just want to be alone sometimes. I don’t seem to get that at all. Someone’s always needing something, I have responsibilities to tend to, etc. I’m not used to being a supermom yet! Although I am better at juggling things than I was before.

Things I want to be rid of: desires to do drugs, obsessive sexual thoughts and desires, emotional over-reactions, mental distractions, obsession with media, cursing, cynicism, sarcasm. I don’t want to hate people anymore. As a Christian, I know I should keep my distance from the world but I go the extra mile, constantly judging others and remarking about how stupid and vain and ignorant and ugly people are. I am so hateful and bitter and I don't want to be like that anymore.

Wanting to change is the first step.

You do need some quiet time. Get imaginative and see if someone can help you to just have time to be alone with God. To read and string a series of thoughts together without interruption.

Sleep depravation can also make you cranky. Sometimes we don't need to do all the things we are doing. Frequently there are many things that can be cut out. You might talk about that with your housemates. And remember - you are the boss and not your kids.

God bless you. Pray and follow the peace. God speaks in the peace.

Welcome, deulykarux!

Right on, dema!

I feel most of what you feel...and I am an introvert so I NEED alone time. I find that I have trouble juggling things too but if we can plan and organize, things will get easier...but who can plan and organize with everything going and lacking sleep? Maybe you can reach out to get help with little things around the house? Maybe you can turn down a few requests, text messages, tv, etc? Also, I find quiet time in the car when I cam driving...listen to Christian music and christian radio stations. It lifts up my spirit and helps me refocus. With all the media these days, it can "plant" bad seeds in your mind. You are probably learning that on the cccc counseling study, right? I hope you stick to it and experience the peace God has to offer. I just finished mine and I can't say enough how much joy God has put in my heart, mind, life! If we just let go and let God work in you, amazing things, beyond what you can imagine, will happen!

Praying for you, sister in Christ!! Hang in there!

Every woman needs down time and time to be by herself. There is nothing wrong with that. Time alone also gives you time to talk to the Father and get the peace he gives and it will help you with all the negatives in your life. You can start by leaving your phone off during your quiet time. Leave the house, go to a park or whatever to get away from the tv.

Whoaaaa!!! Take it easy, Easy Does It, One Day At A Time. You're in the right place & God WILL help you work out ALL your issues but you just have to take it slow & change (for the better) will come. Work on the Stepping Stones program & just keep your focus on Jesus & I know even if "things" don't get better, you will. I know it has for me.
God Bless

Keep on Prayin!