Journal #2 & #3
Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 5:51 pm
It has been over a week since I started my journey but was not able to follow through...until now.
Stepping stone #2 THE GARDEN
After the first day, I read step 2 but wasn't able to post. Truthfully after taking this journey, I felt the attack of the enemy more profound in my life. I was overwhelmed with a lot of negativity and I strayed far away in my effort to get closer to God. However the stepping stone #2 helped me through and here I am again. My mind, the garden...stop the enemy from planting weeds...pull them out before their roots grow deep. Christian music helped me uplift my spirit and focus on the positive...and Jesus.
*One song I wanted to share with you all is Blessings by Laura Story (check out the youtube video with the lyrics).
My garden is like the soil with thorns... Mark 4:18 Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19 but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.
Must cultivate the soil...My mind knows but my heart is still slow to follow...Lord, soften my heart.
Stepping stone #3 FORGIVENESS
This step gave insight as to how God is a parent to all of us. His love is unconditional...we don't NEED to earn His love. Got me thinking as a parent, where A LOT of my frustrations, anger, depression comes from now. I am a mother of a 4.5 and 2 year old girls. My first one is tough. She is strong willed and highly emotional. "Only if she would ____, I can love her" is what I say to myself. She is defiant. She drains me out and I am left burnt out and very angry. Now all this said, I must remember that if God parented like myself, I would be getting a lot of spanking. Must remember that children are a gift from the Lord and that I must LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY and be firm and strong and fight the good fight to lead her in the right path. I ask God that He gives me wisdom and strength to raise her according to His will.
I must forgive myself for not being a perfect, super-mom. (& I don't have a very great example of parenthood from my own parents). I see other moms with overflowing patience and gentleness, who adore and love their child. Sometimes I seriously have to convince myself that I do, but I do. Deep down I do. Through my journey as a mother, I seek close relationship with my Heavenly Dad. Teach me, Lord. Heal me, Lord. Strengthen me, Lord. Forgive and restore me, Lord.
Stepping stone #2 THE GARDEN
After the first day, I read step 2 but wasn't able to post. Truthfully after taking this journey, I felt the attack of the enemy more profound in my life. I was overwhelmed with a lot of negativity and I strayed far away in my effort to get closer to God. However the stepping stone #2 helped me through and here I am again. My mind, the garden...stop the enemy from planting weeds...pull them out before their roots grow deep. Christian music helped me uplift my spirit and focus on the positive...and Jesus.
*One song I wanted to share with you all is Blessings by Laura Story (check out the youtube video with the lyrics).
My garden is like the soil with thorns... Mark 4:18 Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19 but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.
Must cultivate the soil...My mind knows but my heart is still slow to follow...Lord, soften my heart.
Stepping stone #3 FORGIVENESS
This step gave insight as to how God is a parent to all of us. His love is unconditional...we don't NEED to earn His love. Got me thinking as a parent, where A LOT of my frustrations, anger, depression comes from now. I am a mother of a 4.5 and 2 year old girls. My first one is tough. She is strong willed and highly emotional. "Only if she would ____, I can love her" is what I say to myself. She is defiant. She drains me out and I am left burnt out and very angry. Now all this said, I must remember that if God parented like myself, I would be getting a lot of spanking. Must remember that children are a gift from the Lord and that I must LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY and be firm and strong and fight the good fight to lead her in the right path. I ask God that He gives me wisdom and strength to raise her according to His will.
I must forgive myself for not being a perfect, super-mom. (& I don't have a very great example of parenthood from my own parents). I see other moms with overflowing patience and gentleness, who adore and love their child. Sometimes I seriously have to convince myself that I do, but I do. Deep down I do. Through my journey as a mother, I seek close relationship with my Heavenly Dad. Teach me, Lord. Heal me, Lord. Strengthen me, Lord. Forgive and restore me, Lord.