Christian counceling Journals
Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 5:11 amDay 2
Started the Cool Christian Counseling yesterday. I did this program about 3 yrs ago, but I didn't Journal. I must say I did a lot of weeding back then, and became a stronger person because of it. Few things have surfaced that have caused those weeds to resurface.
Didn't start the journal yesterday, It was hard for me to make a start for I was not even sure what was wrong with me. It ended up being a lot of things combined. such as rejection, feeling unworthy, unloved and not belonging. virtues I need to work on is being more loving, inspite of bad situations, joy and being grateful.
Lately I have been complaining a lot...maybe I have always been a complainer but it wasn't until I asked God that i needed to be more grateful that I realised my complaining was preventing me from being grateful. So I have recognise a weed I so need to terminate.....complaining.
Step two is about the mind being the garden. God my mind and heart are yours, through your son Jesus do as you will. Restore me, make me stronger, I don't want to be the seed that falls on the soil that gets choked away from weeds.....
Day 3[/u
]Last night during prayer I opened my bible randomly. I was taken to Zephaniah and then to 2 Timothy.
For such a small book, it was filled with soooooooo much. I think I embraced those pages for a long time.
The thing that spoke to me most was 2 Timothy 1: 8-9 so do not be ashamed to testify about your Lord, or ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But Join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life - not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.
This made me ponder about a few things..... I want to be that Holy person to God, and even though being holy seems impossible, with his grace I can do it. I want nothing more but to be used for his purpose. I desire nothing more but to be more like his son Jesus, I want a righteous world that only God can provide.
At the moment i don't feel so steady, I so need to be strong in what I hear you tell me Father, but instead I am being tossed around like the wind. Sadly Jesus I feel I have failed you, I would be the person they want me to be Jesus, but please convict my Spirit, for Its not man i want to please but you my beloved Jesus. Once again i am faced with the same ol' issues, am I just stubborn lord....I don't want to walk away again Lord, i see how much they love you, they have that much love for you they can't be wrong. I so need to belong. I will never disown you, and I know you will always be true and faithful to me. In 2 Timothy you gave me these word: If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him, If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.
Step 3 today talked about God's Grace. that is your key word of what your telling me.. Guide me Holy Spirit to serve God.
Thank you God for the wonderful people here at oasis, I am truely grateful. I love them too.
[u]Day 4
Today it was about forgiving myself and others. I always prayed to Jesus for forgiveness, but I never thought about asking our loving, merciful Father to be forgiven in the name of Jesus. I want to honour my Father, so forgive me Father in the name of Jesus. At times i have committed the same sin more than once (think you learn at least after the first time) and then that verse really hit me, when Peter asked Jesus how many times should he forgive his brother, seven times? and Jesus replied seventy times seven. I need not feel guilty and ashamed, Jesus forgives me of my silly mistakes more than once. God wants us guilt free with mind and heart. Thank you merciful and loving Father. I also thought about 2 people who i forgot to forgive..... because i did'nt think these people are sorry, thats why i never thought about forgiving them, but who am i to judge, for forgive them God for they do not know what they do.
DAY 5
Today in step 5 I was able to identify some of my problems. I also learnt that the devil is the source to my blame. but making the correct choice is up to me. I also learnt to never go to sleep angry, for that is when the weeds will get planted.
I will continue to trust the Lord who directs my paths.
Day 6
Day 6 miracle grow. Need to strengthen my mind with the knowledge of truth. This made me think of Jesus saying I am the truth, the way and the life. Last night i was reading the verse about Jesus being the vine and we are the branches and God being the gardener. Those branches that do not bear fruit will be cut off. I know I must abide in Jesus and hang on to dear life....I know His truth is found in his words (the gospel), Jesus I ask that my mind be strengthened and renewed you are my true and faithful shepherd, its your voice i hear, and only you i want to follow. If what you have spoken to me is truth help me stand strong on my rock, otherwise change my mind to the truth proclaimed by your church. Holy Spirit guide me to the truth.
Day 7
Todays topic was know your mind. To Identify lies and bad thoughts and replace them with the truth. Truth being the centre of the mind. The weed that has resurfaced is doubt. An existing weed is me complaining and lacking gratitude. I will replace this weed with thanking God daily, and being content in my situations. God is my helper and with his help the weeds will be eliminated. Doubt needs to be replaced with Faith. My problem is I believe in what God teaches me, but then i hear something different to what God has put into my heart and I question the truth. I go to the bible for the truth, and still God shows me the truth....Holy Spirit may you always guide me to your truth.... I trust you Lord, I believe.
Psalm 40 I waited patiently for the Lord, and he inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit. Out of the miry clay. and set my feet upon a rock and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth . Praise to our God. Many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord.
Day 8
This step talks about protecting the garden from weeds. Rejoice in trials and tribulation of my faith for this establishes patience. Think good thoughts (phill 4:8)...Holy spirit......... Spirit of God lives in me, and we need to be spiritually minded, and obey the things of the Holy Spirit.
A prayer of Repentance Psalm 51....10:12 create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with your generous Spirit............
Day 9
changing my lifestyle , surrounding myself with God. Thinking positive, using bible verses to keep me strong. Need to believe in what i pray for. Once again think good thoughts phill 4:8.
Last night reading the book of colossians, went hand in hand with this step.
Coloss 3: 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Day 10
This step will have to be my Favourite so far. It was about prayer. So filled with so many powerful verses. I found that this step took me the longest. I could not help but stop and pause and ask questions.
The verse that touched me was a verse that I have read and heard many times. But this time I Heard it and acted on it.
Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now he who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because he makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
Well If the Holy Spirit can tell God whats wrong with me, then He can tell me. So I asked him about my groans and longing inside that I feel. The void, saddness and loneliness. It went something like this.. .....
Nellie (thats me) - Why do i feel this way
HS - Only Jesus can fulfill you and fill you.
Me - I had experienced his fulfilment, and I loved it and was satisfied. Why was it taken away.
HS - You didn't put him above all things. When the devil came to steal your joy, your focus was on your husband. Slowly weeds suffocated Love
Me - This is what its all about, me wanting you back, in a way how it was when i could move mountains.
Me - I have prayed and longed for a revival/refreshment (i think thats what they call it) i want you back. I love you
HS - I have plans for you, be patient , times are approaching and I will be poured out to his children like never seen before. Rejoice . your sadness will turn to Joy.
Me - (doubt)...is this conversation taking place..(me struggling with the thought(weed), i need to believe)
HS - Child of little Faith....I am the truth.....
Me. I pray In the name of Jesus, that I believe
Silence
stepping stone 11 Holy Spirit.
God is amazing!
Yes I hear you Holy Spirit, I invite you (i always do), abide in me forever and ever and ever (John 14:16-18)
Yesterday I picked up a book i got for easter, one of those books that stare back at you, but I always walked past it , thinking it was a romance, about some blind girl and then in the middle of it all was God. Boy was I wrong. It was far from it and i read it on a day that God chose me to read it.
The book was called choosing to see. What an amazing story, what an incredible family, God is great.
This is something that spoke to me. " I do not need to speak, for i already have and you have not only heard Me, you have seen Me and My power at work.........It hurts but I am all you need. I am sufficient and I am God! Trust me". This was dated on my birthday. The book also had lots of verses that spoke to me throughout the week...yes i hear you.
Maria stated: "I love it when the Family is together". this made me think one day we will all be together, in Gods righteous loving world. We were not meant to die and be apart.
Then tonight in church. The sermon was about Grace and complaining........yes i hear you
Step 12 Falling down.
Awesome. Todays step was about Grace, why is it this message doesn't surprise me? Maybe cause I am hearing him.
These messages spoke to me the most: Your sins cannot outdo God's grace, neither in frequency or intensity.
Ephesians 7:8 For by Grace you are saved through faith, not of your own doing. Its the gift of God.
Trials and tribulation will come, make no mistake. It''s the attitude in which you choose to deal with that makes all the difference...
Through Jesus i will get up.
Step 13 Fellowship
This step was all about loving one another, wishing blessings, encouraging one another. Putting others above myself, compassion, Being kind hearted and courteous.
This to me means, having a heart more like Jesus. We can never Love as much as Christ, but through His Holy Spirit we can try and have a heart like Jesus. Holy Spirit, pour your love through me. Renew my heart and mind daily through Jesus.
Holy spirit establish the words and works through me. Yesterday at work I came across a troubled soul. It was an 80 something old woman, she was visually impaired and was told that she had to leave her home and go to a nursing home,she didnt want to leave her beautiful garden.
HS you held her hand and told her that she would get a new body, one without pain or age. You told her that our journey here is temporary and what awaits her in heaven is eternal. You told her that heaven is beautiful, and God has a mansion with many rooms, with the most beautiful gardens. I know she was a believer for she nodded in agreement, and tears ran down her face when i told her that God has not forgotten her. I then told her that what awaits in heaven will never be taken away from her. Jesus loves her. Thank you for using me HS, thank you for keeping the prowling wolves away as I gave her this message.
Step 14
Finished the steps. Now for the New beginning. Thank you Holy Spirit for teaching me soooo much during this journey. continue to guide me, change me and use me. I long for Gods righteous world, full of Love and Joy. I long to be with my beloved Jesus, true and faithful is my king. Praise and Glory to my God. Because you love me I am grateful. Because of your Grace I am thankful, because of your SON I am ALIVE. Because of your Son I am His.
Started the Cool Christian Counseling yesterday. I did this program about 3 yrs ago, but I didn't Journal. I must say I did a lot of weeding back then, and became a stronger person because of it. Few things have surfaced that have caused those weeds to resurface.
Didn't start the journal yesterday, It was hard for me to make a start for I was not even sure what was wrong with me. It ended up being a lot of things combined. such as rejection, feeling unworthy, unloved and not belonging. virtues I need to work on is being more loving, inspite of bad situations, joy and being grateful.
Lately I have been complaining a lot...maybe I have always been a complainer but it wasn't until I asked God that i needed to be more grateful that I realised my complaining was preventing me from being grateful. So I have recognise a weed I so need to terminate.....complaining.
Step two is about the mind being the garden. God my mind and heart are yours, through your son Jesus do as you will. Restore me, make me stronger, I don't want to be the seed that falls on the soil that gets choked away from weeds.....
Day 3[/u
]Last night during prayer I opened my bible randomly. I was taken to Zephaniah and then to 2 Timothy.
For such a small book, it was filled with soooooooo much. I think I embraced those pages for a long time.
The thing that spoke to me most was 2 Timothy 1: 8-9 so do not be ashamed to testify about your Lord, or ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But Join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life - not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.
This made me ponder about a few things..... I want to be that Holy person to God, and even though being holy seems impossible, with his grace I can do it. I want nothing more but to be used for his purpose. I desire nothing more but to be more like his son Jesus, I want a righteous world that only God can provide.
At the moment i don't feel so steady, I so need to be strong in what I hear you tell me Father, but instead I am being tossed around like the wind. Sadly Jesus I feel I have failed you, I would be the person they want me to be Jesus, but please convict my Spirit, for Its not man i want to please but you my beloved Jesus. Once again i am faced with the same ol' issues, am I just stubborn lord....I don't want to walk away again Lord, i see how much they love you, they have that much love for you they can't be wrong. I so need to belong. I will never disown you, and I know you will always be true and faithful to me. In 2 Timothy you gave me these word: If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him, If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.
Step 3 today talked about God's Grace. that is your key word of what your telling me.. Guide me Holy Spirit to serve God.
Thank you God for the wonderful people here at oasis, I am truely grateful. I love them too.
[u]Day 4
Today it was about forgiving myself and others. I always prayed to Jesus for forgiveness, but I never thought about asking our loving, merciful Father to be forgiven in the name of Jesus. I want to honour my Father, so forgive me Father in the name of Jesus. At times i have committed the same sin more than once (think you learn at least after the first time) and then that verse really hit me, when Peter asked Jesus how many times should he forgive his brother, seven times? and Jesus replied seventy times seven. I need not feel guilty and ashamed, Jesus forgives me of my silly mistakes more than once. God wants us guilt free with mind and heart. Thank you merciful and loving Father. I also thought about 2 people who i forgot to forgive..... because i did'nt think these people are sorry, thats why i never thought about forgiving them, but who am i to judge, for forgive them God for they do not know what they do.
DAY 5
Today in step 5 I was able to identify some of my problems. I also learnt that the devil is the source to my blame. but making the correct choice is up to me. I also learnt to never go to sleep angry, for that is when the weeds will get planted.
I will continue to trust the Lord who directs my paths.
Day 6
Day 6 miracle grow. Need to strengthen my mind with the knowledge of truth. This made me think of Jesus saying I am the truth, the way and the life. Last night i was reading the verse about Jesus being the vine and we are the branches and God being the gardener. Those branches that do not bear fruit will be cut off. I know I must abide in Jesus and hang on to dear life....I know His truth is found in his words (the gospel), Jesus I ask that my mind be strengthened and renewed you are my true and faithful shepherd, its your voice i hear, and only you i want to follow. If what you have spoken to me is truth help me stand strong on my rock, otherwise change my mind to the truth proclaimed by your church. Holy Spirit guide me to the truth.
Day 7
Todays topic was know your mind. To Identify lies and bad thoughts and replace them with the truth. Truth being the centre of the mind. The weed that has resurfaced is doubt. An existing weed is me complaining and lacking gratitude. I will replace this weed with thanking God daily, and being content in my situations. God is my helper and with his help the weeds will be eliminated. Doubt needs to be replaced with Faith. My problem is I believe in what God teaches me, but then i hear something different to what God has put into my heart and I question the truth. I go to the bible for the truth, and still God shows me the truth....Holy Spirit may you always guide me to your truth.... I trust you Lord, I believe.
Psalm 40 I waited patiently for the Lord, and he inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit. Out of the miry clay. and set my feet upon a rock and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth . Praise to our God. Many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord.
Day 8
This step talks about protecting the garden from weeds. Rejoice in trials and tribulation of my faith for this establishes patience. Think good thoughts (phill 4:8)...Holy spirit......... Spirit of God lives in me, and we need to be spiritually minded, and obey the things of the Holy Spirit.
A prayer of Repentance Psalm 51....10:12 create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with your generous Spirit............
Day 9
changing my lifestyle , surrounding myself with God. Thinking positive, using bible verses to keep me strong. Need to believe in what i pray for. Once again think good thoughts phill 4:8.
Last night reading the book of colossians, went hand in hand with this step.
Coloss 3: 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Day 10
This step will have to be my Favourite so far. It was about prayer. So filled with so many powerful verses. I found that this step took me the longest. I could not help but stop and pause and ask questions.
The verse that touched me was a verse that I have read and heard many times. But this time I Heard it and acted on it.
Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now he who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because he makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
Well If the Holy Spirit can tell God whats wrong with me, then He can tell me. So I asked him about my groans and longing inside that I feel. The void, saddness and loneliness. It went something like this.. .....
Nellie (thats me) - Why do i feel this way
HS - Only Jesus can fulfill you and fill you.
Me - I had experienced his fulfilment, and I loved it and was satisfied. Why was it taken away.
HS - You didn't put him above all things. When the devil came to steal your joy, your focus was on your husband. Slowly weeds suffocated Love
Me - This is what its all about, me wanting you back, in a way how it was when i could move mountains.
Me - I have prayed and longed for a revival/refreshment (i think thats what they call it) i want you back. I love you
HS - I have plans for you, be patient , times are approaching and I will be poured out to his children like never seen before. Rejoice . your sadness will turn to Joy.
Me - (doubt)...is this conversation taking place..(me struggling with the thought(weed), i need to believe)
HS - Child of little Faith....I am the truth.....
Me. I pray In the name of Jesus, that I believe
Silence
stepping stone 11 Holy Spirit.
God is amazing!
Yes I hear you Holy Spirit, I invite you (i always do), abide in me forever and ever and ever (John 14:16-18)
Yesterday I picked up a book i got for easter, one of those books that stare back at you, but I always walked past it , thinking it was a romance, about some blind girl and then in the middle of it all was God. Boy was I wrong. It was far from it and i read it on a day that God chose me to read it.
The book was called choosing to see. What an amazing story, what an incredible family, God is great.
This is something that spoke to me. " I do not need to speak, for i already have and you have not only heard Me, you have seen Me and My power at work.........It hurts but I am all you need. I am sufficient and I am God! Trust me". This was dated on my birthday. The book also had lots of verses that spoke to me throughout the week...yes i hear you.
Maria stated: "I love it when the Family is together". this made me think one day we will all be together, in Gods righteous loving world. We were not meant to die and be apart.
Then tonight in church. The sermon was about Grace and complaining........yes i hear you
Step 12 Falling down.
Awesome. Todays step was about Grace, why is it this message doesn't surprise me? Maybe cause I am hearing him.
These messages spoke to me the most: Your sins cannot outdo God's grace, neither in frequency or intensity.
Ephesians 7:8 For by Grace you are saved through faith, not of your own doing. Its the gift of God.
Trials and tribulation will come, make no mistake. It''s the attitude in which you choose to deal with that makes all the difference...
Through Jesus i will get up.
Step 13 Fellowship
This step was all about loving one another, wishing blessings, encouraging one another. Putting others above myself, compassion, Being kind hearted and courteous.
This to me means, having a heart more like Jesus. We can never Love as much as Christ, but through His Holy Spirit we can try and have a heart like Jesus. Holy Spirit, pour your love through me. Renew my heart and mind daily through Jesus.
Holy spirit establish the words and works through me. Yesterday at work I came across a troubled soul. It was an 80 something old woman, she was visually impaired and was told that she had to leave her home and go to a nursing home,she didnt want to leave her beautiful garden.
HS you held her hand and told her that she would get a new body, one without pain or age. You told her that our journey here is temporary and what awaits her in heaven is eternal. You told her that heaven is beautiful, and God has a mansion with many rooms, with the most beautiful gardens. I know she was a believer for she nodded in agreement, and tears ran down her face when i told her that God has not forgotten her. I then told her that what awaits in heaven will never be taken away from her. Jesus loves her. Thank you for using me HS, thank you for keeping the prowling wolves away as I gave her this message.
Step 14
Finished the steps. Now for the New beginning. Thank you Holy Spirit for teaching me soooo much during this journey. continue to guide me, change me and use me. I long for Gods righteous world, full of Love and Joy. I long to be with my beloved Jesus, true and faithful is my king. Praise and Glory to my God. Because you love me I am grateful. Because of your Grace I am thankful, because of your SON I am ALIVE. Because of your Son I am His.
