entry 8
Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 2:26 pmtoday I am asked to think about how the enemy influences thought,how the sinful flesh pulls me down. If I think about these weaknesses, maybe I will be easier on myself. My sin set up a situation that is extremely difficult now. I can't help but think about how my negativity, my moodiness, have affected things in my world since then. I find myself dwelling on how I added to or even created an extremely stressful situation in my house. I know these things are half truths, twisted by the enemy, to pull me down and out of the truth, which is God's love and mercy. These thoughts alternate with other feelings, of helplessness, isolation, anxiety and the rest, and I remind myself, about how many people I have in my life to help me. I'm so grateful for my family. I'm so grateful for the wonderful people here. There are more people that love us than I ever realized before. There are these thoughts, that come to me about this step, and I know God is reaching out to me, to embrace His love, grace and mercy as He's given them to me.
Another thought that comes from this, which is many ways is more difficult, is how I know what the Truth is, I have the Lord on my side to fight my battles, and in the face of these demons, my hubby is totally alone. I think God wants me to know this, so when I try to understand the situation right now, I don't only think about it in worldly terms (can you tell I read vahn's awesome reply to me on another thread? TY) but that I see the spiritual reality here. Sure, I can think about how selfish it is, how thoughtless, and so on, but there is a deeper reality, a truer one and if I want to understand and face this, and battle it, I MUST understand the level of events at the level of the greater Truth. All these things about the enemy lying, and taking advantage of the flesh, is a magnified issue.
If I'm going to live up to my namesake with God's grace, I must be able to see the battlefield clearly.
Another thought that comes from this, which is many ways is more difficult, is how I know what the Truth is, I have the Lord on my side to fight my battles, and in the face of these demons, my hubby is totally alone. I think God wants me to know this, so when I try to understand the situation right now, I don't only think about it in worldly terms (can you tell I read vahn's awesome reply to me on another thread? TY) but that I see the spiritual reality here. Sure, I can think about how selfish it is, how thoughtless, and so on, but there is a deeper reality, a truer one and if I want to understand and face this, and battle it, I MUST understand the level of events at the level of the greater Truth. All these things about the enemy lying, and taking advantage of the flesh, is a magnified issue.
If I'm going to live up to my namesake with God's grace, I must be able to see the battlefield clearly.