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it rose in me again tonight - i tried to fight of the annoyance and only a little bit of it slipped out - but C is really testing my patience. i just feel like i'm being mean because his opinion of me clearly comes from a place of insecurity - -but how many times do i have to reassure him of things... i'm just venting, letting it out and letting it go. haha! - i just realised that in order to let it go properly, i have to hand the situation over to God, and trust that He is working in C's life just as He is working in mine. i will admit my big insecurity about the situation is that C doesnt give his all to God and doesnt grow.... because our realtionship can't move forward if we are unequally yolked. but i guess that i'm just getting carried away, i just need to focus on God and let Him work in my life and He will let me know the answers to these questions in His time.... another lesson on patience i see

thank you God for your amazing grace! its so wonderfully clear that you have been teaching me this message for the past three days. praise God! thank for your sacrifce oh Lord! i love you!!!!