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My Life of Scarred Events

Postby DeathPunchSong » Tue Mar 20, 2012 10:16 pm

Hi, I am Sarah. Let me tell yooh my life story of horror. When i was two i was adopted. My bio mom would do crack and messed me up. I was held back because of that. Two of my sister were allowed to be with me. We are always together. Here we go. So when i was around six or seven, my adopted dad molested me and my older sister Katie. Multiply times. being young i could do nothing about it. When my adopted mom(mom) found out, she divorced him. He still doesn't pay child support and married a not so nice person. I forgave him, but scars do not heal. I flinch every time i hear of rape or anything close to that. Months later my mom married my Step dad, Don, who meet online. He had a two daughters, which he spoiled a lot. He does not likes us. We are a interference in his eyes, we believe. So he turned out to be a drunk, saying stuff that should be left unsaid, and verbal abuse my mom and us. Nine years and still with him, we endured so many scarred memories and depression. I understand my mom is in love. I am in love for the first time as well. But to put yoohr children like that is painful and it hurts. I hold so much depression in my heart. I am afraid ill pop or kill myself. To get away from the pain once i cut myself on my arms everywhere. I turned into something else. I was a monster and my mom saw it and got scared. That was two years ago. I am a great kid, good grades, shy and nice. But it is just a face. I try to bury everything. Finally my mom, "left" him. That was last year. We moved into a apartment, in the same state as he. She entered a huge depression making us sink with her. They got back together. They did this so much, we got use to hiding form him or running from him but always coming back. This year, she lost it and we moved to Colorado. They are still married but who knows? they might get back together. I just say right now i do not think i can live on if that happens. A lot of times i think of just killing myself. The only thing weighing me to earth is my dream, God and my new boyfriend. Just a week ago i did cut myself again. I did a little bit, enough to remember i broke my promise to my mom. I was sucking in her depression and i couldn't take it anymore. There is more details but i cannot go on. I feel so unneeded.
Sarah Marie
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Re: My Life of Scarred Events

Postby Mackenaw » Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:59 pm

Hello DPS / Sarah :)

God bless you this day.

I'm so sorry to hear of all the horrors you have had to endure in your young life. I'm glad God led you here, and glad to hear of your desire to grow in your relationship with God. Jesus died for you, and He loves you so very much.

I suggest you read some of the studies here, and also join us in Chat whenever you can. Being around others that love The Lord and whom will encourage you to get to know The Lord better is a good thing. We all care about one another here. :)

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus, on your behalf. May God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack
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Re: My Life of Scarred Events

Postby gingerkitten » Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:26 pm

DPS/ Sarah,

I have no words to express my sorrow after reading your story, all I can say and I hope it is of some comfort to you is that Prayers are rising for both you and your sister. I hope you will give the people here a chance to get to know and speak with you. We may not always have the Right Words... but most here have Great Heart and I hope you find the LOVE of the Lord shown here also.

May the Lord Keep you in HIS care
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Re: My Life of Scarred Events

Postby dantyriverside » Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:53 am

hi DPS/Sarah We met the other night. I only wish I knew your story then. I would have hoped I could have offered more words of encouragement. I too am so sorry for what you have been thru. I pray that God brings peace into your life and into your heart. I truely believe you have found the right place to get the support and understanding that you need and desire.

As Mack said we have alot of really good studies here that may give you some comfort. I have done quite a few of the studies myself and they have helped me. There is the Cool Christian Counseling a 14 day study that really brought me out of a deep depression so I personally recommend it to everyone and since you stated that depression is an issue you might wanna check it out. Even if you just need a spiritual "tuneup" :) it is a great study.

We are a true family DPS and I welcome you into it with open arms. *hug* If you ever have any questions or just need to talk just pm me. I cant wait to see you in chat again sis.


luvs
danty
"Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." Mark 11:24
Remember God loves you, :)
danty
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Re: My Life of Scarred Events

Postby Dora » Sat Mar 24, 2012 8:25 am

*hug* Keep holding onto life. Bad things happen but they never stay. They will pass by. Which makes the good things even sweeter. May I encourage you to focus on any and all good things. Things that are lovely and pure. Lately I have been taking a lot of walks along a river. I focus on the water and wild life. It seems to help me through. I struggle to with thought of wanting to die and depression is trying to pull me under. So today I'll take that long walk by the river and focus on any and all good that happens. I was trying to cross a road Thursday. A man stopped his car for me which held back traffic. It was touching that he cared for me to make my passage safely that he'd stop his busy journey to be apart of making sure mine was safer. That small thing someone did for me could be over looked and to him I'm sure it was nothing. But I focus on how someone, a stranger, cared enough about me. If he cared about my safety I should to. I care about your safety and so do others. You can tell by the way they've reached out here. Many more care. Hold on tight to those thoughts of how others do care and so you can care about your life too. Care enough to keep breathing. No matter what has happened or will happen you can keep breathing until He chooses to take you to your eternal home. Suicide is the easy way out. I know things seem so overwhelming at times but it will pass.

Take gentle care of yourself. *hug*
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Re: My Life of Scarred Events

Postby deborahwarrior4god » Sun Mar 25, 2012 1:27 pm

I'm glad you came and had the courage to share all that! It's inspired me :). There are such awesome people here I hope you keep coming and sharing.
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Re: My Life of Scarred Events

Postby DeathPunchSong » Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:58 pm

Thank yooh, it helps to know someone is there for me :)
Sarah Marie
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Re: My Life of Scarred Events

Postby empressnic » Sat Apr 14, 2012 6:23 pm

Hello,'

I am sorry for all you and your sister have gone through, continue to hold on to life, there are better days ahead. I know sometimes we are going through our problems and it feels as if we cannot take it anymore. But live your days, day by day the Lord will provide you with strength for that day and renew your strength for the following day. I have prayed for you and for God to continue to strengthen you.

I pray thing get better for you and your family soon
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