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I had an abortion about 11 years ago and as a christian I can not make peace with this. It was a legal aborion - turner sindrome. At that stage I was under the impression that the possibility of the baby dying inside of me is very big and that this might endanger my life. I had 2 other children to think of and not a lot of support - so I went for the doctor's advise and had an abortion. This was always in the back of my mind but I kind of had peace with it because I thaught I did the right thing. BUT (there's always a but ) recently a lady I know got pregnant and they picked up that the baby has Turner sindrome. After a lot of tests and treatments she had the baby and she is alive and healthy (still sindrome but not other illness). This opened up my wound again and I started reading up on the internet (something I did not have 11 years ago) about Turner and was shocked to realise how high the survival rate for turner children are and that they can almost live a normal life. Did I kill my baby for nothing !?!

A few other things happened in my life after that ... at the moment I feel so far away from God and not sure about my salvation any more. Please help me to find peace with Jesus again. I am an active member of a Christian church but do not trust human beeings.

Ps. English is not my first language - please excuse spelling

Hello Lisa ,

First let me start by saying that i feel your pain, I've been there. Still have my bouts with it every now n then. My circumstances where different than yours, but that doesnt matter. The same guilt, shame and all the other things and emotions that go along with going through something like this.

Sister, let me say this.. if you confessed the nature of your wrong and asked Him for forgiveness, you ARE forgiven!! He remembers it no more. It is us that keep bringing it back to the forefront of our minds and hearts for many reasons. Examples would be, rethinking the events and saying what if, Punishing ourselves for making a decision that effects our the rest of our lives, triggering thoughts from hearing about other's stories, resurfaces all those feelings of guilt and shame and blame etc.

Next let me say this, you did what you thought was best at that given time of your life. Who you are now, is not necessarily who you were then. You were concerned about the outcome of the child's health and the family as a whole. You may question it today if it were the best thing to do, in fact i think the majority of women who had abortions do question it and with regret would choose another way. You are not alone .

Find your forgiveness from our Father and practice that same forgiveness on yourself. We cannot change the past, but we can live for today the best we know how at this blessed given moment. We are so hard on ourselves, dont get imprisoned by unforgivenss towards yourself and self doubt. Find your freedom with this at His feet. Leave it there and feel His peace over you. He wants you to heal from this and so do i.

Praying for you dear sister.
God bless n keep u always
♥Jill

Jill basically said it all. We have all fallen short of the glory of God. We are all sinners and we all need forgiveness. The worst part about sin is that it can separate us from God. God has forgiven you. Please, don't let this separate you from the love of Jesus? What can separate us from the love of God? Nothing.

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

You might read all of Romans 8. You are forgiven. You are loved. And you were trying to be a good girl. You were. Don't condemn yourself at all - accept the blood of Jesus - but particularly, don't condemn yourself when you were trying to be a good girl.

I just wanted to give you a hug. God loves you and so do I. I hope and pray one day you will understand and accept His great big love.

Im not sure how this website works Hope you can all see my reply

Thank you for caring.

I have just completed the second counceling session and yes - will focus on killing ALL the weeds today.

Have a great day

Hi Lisa, and welcome to Oasis

I just wanted to echo whats been said here and let you know, again, that you are not alone. You are in the right place. Im praying for you as well as many others here...and, the Lord loves you so very much. We will walk this walk with you. He will show you many truths within these steps.

God bless you, sister in Jesus..and remember, you are a child of the King and His grace is sufficient. Ive been in the same place...and, He is faithful to do what He says He will do..its already done, sister.

In Jesus,
love momo

Just finished step 3. Thank God for His grace ! A few other things happened after I have lost my baby ... and this made me loose trust in all human beeings but more than that trust in my own judgement of people. I use to reach out to broken people - it was my absolute life mission. But now Im to scared, Im to scared that they might abuse my kindness ... and I dont care if they humaliate me but I am scared of being drawn into their sick plans. I want to show my Father's love to the world but where do you draw the line

Father forgive me for I have sinned ....