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Well i have been doing the counseling but have not moved past step 7 haven't fully finished that one either. Things have been bad lately. I have had long talks with God and I know I need to learn patience but its so hard for me right now. See I am so in love with my ex yet he wants to just be friends. I spend too much time with him and even though we are not together there are times when we act like we are. I have prayed to God about him. I feel deep down that he is the one I am to be with and God knows my heart when I prayed to him about this guy. I know I need to focus on building my relationship with God but right now my heart is just not in it and that is the main reason I have taken a break from the steps. My head is not on right. I know God will answer my prayer as he answered another prayer within days of me asking. I am just having such a hard time with my feelings for my ex. He has been acting like he is moving on and I can't I know its cause of the way things ended he wanted them to and not try and work on them and I wanted to try. So now i am at a road block in my garden and am having a hard time trying to get back at it. Thank you for all of you here it has truly been a God send that I am here and i know I will get back on the path.

About relationships... I always heard... If you are having to work hard to keep it .... it just may not be working. I have been there and had to give up. It really really hurt but I got very close to God and my life got so much better.
Im praying for you!!

I myself have fallen in love, so I understand the distraction. I know it is not easy when you get distracted. But I assure you when start back on your counseling, God will give you a gift that maybe you were not ready to hear before. We have an AWESOME GOD and he is good at giving us the right message at the right time. Dont loose heart just because you stopped or missed a few days, that doesnt mean you cant pick up and start where you left off. I am currently on day 11 and I know I am getting near the end. When I finish there are a few things I want to go back over that I have all ready covered. So dont give up just because you got stuck. That is just what the creepy dude wants. I promise if you begin again you will feel better and things will fall into place ............Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own troubles."

SO I tried to go back to step 7 the other night and I just could not get through it. This is so hard right now. I am going to keep trying to do step 7 even if it takes me a week. In the mean time I will continue working on the other steps and keeping those weeds at bay. I am in need of prayer in getting back on track its hard and I find myself wanting to go back to old habits and I need to change that. I even got a call today from someone I thought was gone after I asked God about him. But he showed up again after I talked to God about something else. SO in order for me to understand what is going on I have asked God to help me discern his will for me. I need to work on my garden but I am having such a hard time. I never understood how much the heart can affect our day to day life. I know as I continue along this path I am on my broken heart will heal just trying to get to that point right now. I don't have a lot in patience that is also something I have been talking to God about. Thank you all for being here and letting me just talk

I have to applaud you for your determination. That is what it takes. You can do it sis and you have the love and support of your CO family. Something that may help is try reading other journals that are on the same step as you are on. It comforts me when I realize that "hey others felt like that too". Keep up the good work. Remember you are farther today than you were yesterday and tomorrow you will be even farther still.